(no subject)
Ok, I have a confession to make. I know that some of you will be in shock, maybe denial about this, and others won't be surprised. Just please don't judge me. It's been something I’ve been going through for a really long time now, and I think now is the time for me to get if off my chest. I love all of you and know you will be behind my no matter what. Ok...here it goes. Like I said, some of you may already have an idea, some may not. But it's true. I am.....................a reindeer. Yes, it's true. My actual birth father is the famed reindeer vixen. As his name applies, he was quite the temptress in his own right. A little known fact is that Mr. and Mrs. Clause have not been a happily married couple for sometime now. Let’s just say that he hasn't taken a trip down her chimney in quiiite a long time. Anyway, the sham of a marriage, which is only glued together for media purposes (can you imagine a divorced Santa...? neither can I) hit its lowest part about 19 years ago. as many know, winter nights can be lonely and cold, and while Santa was out gallivanting with one of his many "elf" hookers, my father took it upon him self to comfort the crushed Mrs. Clause, whose first name is actually Clarissa. Well, one thing lead to another, one too many eggnogs were had, and nine months later, there I was. Half reindeer, half human. embarrassed and horrified over the scandal that it would undoubtedly cause, Earl (Santa) had me sent to the states in the first available orphanage...one right in Detroit. the orphanage had me fitted for gloves that I have had to purchase each year my hands have grown to hide my hooves (hence the bad typing), and my long hair disguises the nubs of my antlers I have to get cut off every six months or so. My parents came to the orphanage when I was about a year, in hopes to find a companion for my brother (who is actually a year older than me). My mother couldn’t conceive, and as you all may have guessed, Eric was quite the little tyrant. They kindly took pity on me, and have raised me as one of their own. My life has been normal as ever thanks to them, but I finally felt it time to let the truth be known...I needed to get it off my chest. And what better time to do it than at Christmas time. Please don’t look at me differently. I’m still the same matt I’ve always been, just a little...different.
HAHAAHAHA!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVEYONE!!!!
HAHAAHAHA!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVEYONE!!!!