Random Rantings Before Lunch
Most of this is a freewriting exercise of sorts, just what happened to be on my mind when I wrote it. I felt a disclaimer was in order because some people just need a reminder. -- Hunter "Southpaw" Broadfoot
Sometimes, I think about... the way I think.
I know it sounds weird, but it seems like I have a dozen or so warring factions all raging in my head sometimes, forever stalemated. Maybe that's why I find it so hard to decide on things all the time... Actually, that's not it, but I don't want to psychoanalyze and, subsequently, completely depress myself.
Even if I got depressed, not many people would really be able to tell... I can fake being content and happy well--too well sometimes. The mask is almost necessary, and I don't think I'm at all wrong for wearing one; there are millions upon millions of people who wear two or three, after all.
It's not that I'm just some unemotional psycho who just doesn't care about anything. Even if I say that, I'm probably lying. To simply not care would mean that I was incapable of emotion, which just isn't the case.
I feel things in extremes. When I'm in a good mood, it's REALLY obvious. When I'm in a bad mood, it's REALLY obvious. The bad always gets stored somewhere inside, and eventually it gets so full that wisps of what we'll call 'pissedoffness' will leak out, usually adding to fury before I get a chance to hide it. That's usually why small things usually get me going about something ENTIRELY unrelated...
And that's why stupid people piss me off.
Politics get me going too, but that's totally unrelated to being pissed off. Usually I can only talk to Bryan about that stuff, mostly because everyone else seems to misinterpret the manner in which I talk about it as anger. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of subjects and such I simply don't talk about with some people for similar reasons. Can't talk about politics with Rune; all I get is dumb looks. And Simon's always making coonass jokes, for which he will die a horrible, bloody, painful, and slow death by spooning. Damn Texans. ;)
Grant City (see Shards) has been taking up a lot of my time lately, especially since Firecaster's been sick since this weekend (Get better soon, Cas! *long-distance hugs* ^_^), Spring's been off doing his thing, and it's not unusual for me not to see Skyrender for days at a time online. And I don't speak to Tonnica as often as I'd like 'cause she doesn't have AIM. (Note to self... get Trillian. The GOOD version. ^.^) This leaves me nothing to do but homework and GC moderating, both of which are arduous, thankless pains-in-the-ass. No really.
...this may get ugly.
If it isn't some newbie from Keltara thinking that Keltara is the be-all-and-end-all of roleplaying (HA!), it's some twit thinking that s/he is the be-all-and-end-all of roleplaying (HA!). And if it isn't that, it's the fact that idiots are RUINING GRANT CITY.
I can't say this on the Grant City Forums because people will get offended--not that that's ever stopped me before, but I'm going to put the unedited version here first. Grant City has degraded into a void of uncreativeness, a mere sliver of a shadow of its former self. Why? Because people don't get it. It's more than sickening to watch, time and time again, some random hero flitting across the rooftops like an armored fairy on speed, thinking that they're God and the city belongs to them. I'm even more sick of this pre-scripted bullshit that people like Marcus Steiner and Seska Matthews and Sebastian Banning and Jo Malachi pass off as roleplaying. LEAVE THAT COUPLES CRAP OUT OF GRANT CITY. If you want to snuggle, go to Keltara; they welcome that kind of stuff there.
The only thing worse than that is the competitiveness that goes on. Grant City is NOT Keltara! I mean really... How often do we have to see all the macho posturing between the 'heroes' of the Herald House and all the other villains/villainesses in Grant? Hell, when you put a maintenance bay in a hotel, I think there's a serious, SERIOUS problem.
...oh look, my time's up. Therapy's over, time to go to lunch. Bwahaha. =P
Sometimes, I think about... the way I think.
I know it sounds weird, but it seems like I have a dozen or so warring factions all raging in my head sometimes, forever stalemated. Maybe that's why I find it so hard to decide on things all the time... Actually, that's not it, but I don't want to psychoanalyze and, subsequently, completely depress myself.
Even if I got depressed, not many people would really be able to tell... I can fake being content and happy well--too well sometimes. The mask is almost necessary, and I don't think I'm at all wrong for wearing one; there are millions upon millions of people who wear two or three, after all.
It's not that I'm just some unemotional psycho who just doesn't care about anything. Even if I say that, I'm probably lying. To simply not care would mean that I was incapable of emotion, which just isn't the case.
I feel things in extremes. When I'm in a good mood, it's REALLY obvious. When I'm in a bad mood, it's REALLY obvious. The bad always gets stored somewhere inside, and eventually it gets so full that wisps of what we'll call 'pissedoffness' will leak out, usually adding to fury before I get a chance to hide it. That's usually why small things usually get me going about something ENTIRELY unrelated...
And that's why stupid people piss me off.
Politics get me going too, but that's totally unrelated to being pissed off. Usually I can only talk to Bryan about that stuff, mostly because everyone else seems to misinterpret the manner in which I talk about it as anger. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of subjects and such I simply don't talk about with some people for similar reasons. Can't talk about politics with Rune; all I get is dumb looks. And Simon's always making coonass jokes, for which he will die a horrible, bloody, painful, and slow death by spooning. Damn Texans. ;)
Grant City (see Shards) has been taking up a lot of my time lately, especially since Firecaster's been sick since this weekend (Get better soon, Cas! *long-distance hugs* ^_^), Spring's been off doing his thing, and it's not unusual for me not to see Skyrender for days at a time online. And I don't speak to Tonnica as often as I'd like 'cause she doesn't have AIM. (Note to self... get Trillian. The GOOD version. ^.^) This leaves me nothing to do but homework and GC moderating, both of which are arduous, thankless pains-in-the-ass. No really.
...this may get ugly.
If it isn't some newbie from Keltara thinking that Keltara is the be-all-and-end-all of roleplaying (HA!), it's some twit thinking that s/he is the be-all-and-end-all of roleplaying (HA!). And if it isn't that, it's the fact that idiots are RUINING GRANT CITY.
I can't say this on the Grant City Forums because people will get offended--not that that's ever stopped me before, but I'm going to put the unedited version here first. Grant City has degraded into a void of uncreativeness, a mere sliver of a shadow of its former self. Why? Because people don't get it. It's more than sickening to watch, time and time again, some random hero flitting across the rooftops like an armored fairy on speed, thinking that they're God and the city belongs to them. I'm even more sick of this pre-scripted bullshit that people like Marcus Steiner and Seska Matthews and Sebastian Banning and Jo Malachi pass off as roleplaying. LEAVE THAT COUPLES CRAP OUT OF GRANT CITY. If you want to snuggle, go to Keltara; they welcome that kind of stuff there.
The only thing worse than that is the competitiveness that goes on. Grant City is NOT Keltara! I mean really... How often do we have to see all the macho posturing between the 'heroes' of the Herald House and all the other villains/villainesses in Grant? Hell, when you put a maintenance bay in a hotel, I think there's a serious, SERIOUS problem.
...oh look, my time's up. Therapy's over, time to go to lunch. Bwahaha. =P