The one in Ionia.....
Today was my one day off from work all week! I decided that since it was my break, I was at least going to try to have one road trip...I couldnt go far, but I went just far enough to call it a road trip. I went on Highway 96 from exit 168 to exit 67. I went to the small Hicktown of Ionia Michigan. Ionia was full of fams, cows, horses, barns, and was also home to one of my best friends, Brad Richards, aka BR. It felt like it took forever to get there! I finally arrived and parked at BR's old work, aka the corner landing located right off the highway. Brad and his friend Rachel eventually came plowing up in his car, but not before I was almost cornered by 3 cars full of black people! I get in and we start driving through the hick town. First stop, Ionia High. Yes folks, thats right, I had been out of HS 2 years, and I was now going back! *rolls eyes*. We enter into the Choir where the class is watching the video from their performance last night. We decided to walk around the school, and visit Brad and Rachel's old teachers. School was about to let out, and so teachers were roaming the halls. This teaching comes up to us and goes "You students are suppose to be in class"! LMAO!! Then Brad was like "oh I graduated last year". Then she taps me and goes "You, how old are you?" and I was like "I am almost 20!" LOL! Shes like "I thought so, u looked older, my daughter is 20!" lOL! good to know I dont look like i'm in HS anymore! After that, we passed the teacher that Brad almost had sex with! haha! We visited Miss Flanigen, Brad's old drama teacher. She kinda reminded me of Mrs. Russek! After that, we visited Brad's old drafting teacher. Then Rachel saw her history teacher. After that, we went back to the choir room to visit Brad and Rachel's crazy, insane choir teacher. This lady was insane! She claimed that Brad made her insane, but he claimed she made him insane! She refused to let me leave until I sang her a song! Meanwhile, Rachel was having a breakdown because her asshole ex feonsae was in the chior room and he was talking to Brad and asking him to hang out. Rachel pulled me into the back office and was like "I cant believe he is talking to Brad, Brad is too good for him!, He is telling the WHOLE SCHOOL that I cheated on him, on no! He cheated on me!" omg, it was SO dramatic! So after that, Brad's ex teacher pilled my hands up with song books and made me choose a song. While I was trying to pick a song, this Fat, flammy, half black gay kid (who's name was Edger), comes up and starts talking to me. I guess he is somehow 19, yet still in HS...sad ann! I picked One Song Glory to sing, since I obivously wasnt getting out until I did. After I sang, she gave me like a # to call and order all these song books that came with CD's! Crazy lady! lol! Finally after that we left. In the parking lot, Rachel started being all dramatic about her ex (Johnathen) to her ex choir teacher...oh man! So I guess Edger, was coming with Brad, Rachel and I...oh boy, this should be fun! Not to mention the fact that Brad whispered to me that he liked me!
We beelined out of the HS property and went to lunch at his chineese buffet. Over lunch, all Brad and Edger could talk about was all the guys in Ionia that they had done stuff with..A. I didnt know that Ionia held that many gay men. B. I think Edger is full of shit because the reality is that no guy in their right mind would touch him. C. Rachel kept relating half of what they said to her ex! Chyeah, she is NOT over him at all, yet she already has a new boyfriend! Edger was really getting on my nerves with all his BS about guys and "straight" guys. Then I told him how I was doing the Rent thing with my DVD cam. He tells me "Oh Mark is so much hotter then u, and is gay in real life"...ummm OKAY! I made sure Brad knew that Edger had to go soon! After lunch, we went to Rachel's house. Her parents are very conservitive. Her mom is aparently the town's gossip queen. And I guess her dad likes to jack off to Porn's in family video....So I guess I wasnt even allowed to swear in her house. While Brad, Rachel and I went in the kitchen to burn CD's on Rachel's computer, Edger felt it was his time to have a heart to heart gossip talk with Rachel's mom. Her mom started to open up, but then held back. Edger told her (in his gay flammy voice) "Honny, just let it all out" LMAO! So they chatted it up while I attempted to get to know Rachel's computer. Rachel's background on her computer is seizure heaven! It keeps flashing bright pink and yellow and oh, its so annoying! Her dad came home and kept demanding that she take it off. Her dad was a very fat bald man with a mustash. When Brad told me the Burner wasnt burning, her dad was like "Oh it should work, its a fast one, I just ordered more ram for it.." blah blah, he CLEARLY knew nothing of computers! After trying two more times, we finally just sent the songs to Brad's email. Rachel sits down with me and starts going off about John (her ex) again. Seriously, this was worse then me and Ryan!! She's like "That HS was the only place I had here to come back to, you know?...and now everyone hates me and this girl who is like my best friend says she cant be friends with me anymore because she is friends with him and hes telling everyone I cheated on him- yeah right" omg it was horrible! Then Edger comes in and claims he is half indian and has been to india! So of course, I came back with "ive been there 3 times" :-) hahhahhaha! Anyway, so after that we left Rachel's house and told Edger "I was going home,and they were dropping me at my car"...little did he know this was a ploy to get rid of him! So we dropped his off and beelined the way of the highway, but then turned back around and headed towards Brad's house!
Brad (like Rachel) lives in a hole, literally! Firstly, he owns 49 acers. His dad also collects junk. We enter the house. Luckily his mom wasnt there. I guess he told his mom that I nick named her "mother BR"!! OMG! I could kill him! His dad was sleep in this lazy boy in the corner. The tv was on, his hand was on the remote, and his finger on a button!! LMAO! Brad room was really small. I met his cat, who actually looked just like Animal's cat! Brad like through his hot sexy brother's senior pics on me. They were so hot that I just took 2! ha! He claimed he knew his brother was "bi sexual" and proceeded to show Rachel and I pics of his boyfriend and his girlfriend! haha! Then she showed me all his old drafting stuff. He had designed houses and had won all sorts of awards for his drawing! omg! Then he free handedly drew this car engine! OMG! He needs to be majoring in drafting! Not this history teacher BS! omg! Seriously! He would make SO much more money! He claimed it was a HS hobby! OMG! He needs to take it up again! So after finding a recipt for a black man thong, Brad took me out onto the deck. From the deck, I could see everything. He was right when he said his dad collected junk, because in his back yard, there was an old free loader, AND an old SCHOOL BUS! Yes, a SCHOOL BUS! I wondered if BR had ever taken any guys into that bus! hahahha! Then Brad showed me his basement. It literally looked like his parents were preparing for another Y2k! Seriously! It was insane!
Next came the only part of the night that made the whole trip worth while....Brad took me 4 wheeling! Yes! I tapped the whole thing! The tape looks like The Blair Witch Project! ha! It was soo awesome though! I was like clutching onto BR for dear life! It was SOOO cooool!!!!! BR, YOU ROCK!! Finally, we decided it was time to drive me back to my car. We park next to my car, and call Gen. So for the next hour and a half almost, it was Brad, Rachel and I in the car, talking to Gen on speaker! So Brad keeps going on about him and his ex Brandon, and making Rachel think more and more about her ex, and making her more and more upset. She kept telling Brad to get off the phone, but he didnt! Gen and I started talking Rent, which was great! Meanwhile, Rachel got more and more upset. Brad started calling her new boyfriend a "rebound" and shes like "Oh no hes not, he sees me as more then just a sex toy, if he were a rebound, he would be alot hotter!" (aparently hes really fat). I seriously wanted to tell her that she needed to dump Robert because she was clearly not over John and she could never give her full heart to anyone until she was. But I held back. We got Brad to admit to insist with his brother, which was interesting! LOL! Oh Oh! Then came the kicker of the night! Brad and Gen were talking about how they made out once and Brad was like "oh if I were straight, I would do you, and then Rachel too" Rachel literally burst out crying! She was SOO upset that Brad would choose Gen first over her! OMG! Like she wasnt even kidding she was seriously HURT, OMG BRAD IS G A Y!!! LMAO IT WAS REDICULOUS!!!! SERIOUSLY! I WANTED TO LAUGH SOO HARD! It got to a point where Rachel got out of the car, and sat on the hood of the car!!! OMG!! At that point, Brad finally ended the convo with Gen, I left and he took the crying Rachel home....WOW......just WOW....what a day!!
We beelined out of the HS property and went to lunch at his chineese buffet. Over lunch, all Brad and Edger could talk about was all the guys in Ionia that they had done stuff with..A. I didnt know that Ionia held that many gay men. B. I think Edger is full of shit because the reality is that no guy in their right mind would touch him. C. Rachel kept relating half of what they said to her ex! Chyeah, she is NOT over him at all, yet she already has a new boyfriend! Edger was really getting on my nerves with all his BS about guys and "straight" guys. Then I told him how I was doing the Rent thing with my DVD cam. He tells me "Oh Mark is so much hotter then u, and is gay in real life"...ummm OKAY! I made sure Brad knew that Edger had to go soon! After lunch, we went to Rachel's house. Her parents are very conservitive. Her mom is aparently the town's gossip queen. And I guess her dad likes to jack off to Porn's in family video....So I guess I wasnt even allowed to swear in her house. While Brad, Rachel and I went in the kitchen to burn CD's on Rachel's computer, Edger felt it was his time to have a heart to heart gossip talk with Rachel's mom. Her mom started to open up, but then held back. Edger told her (in his gay flammy voice) "Honny, just let it all out" LMAO! So they chatted it up while I attempted to get to know Rachel's computer. Rachel's background on her computer is seizure heaven! It keeps flashing bright pink and yellow and oh, its so annoying! Her dad came home and kept demanding that she take it off. Her dad was a very fat bald man with a mustash. When Brad told me the Burner wasnt burning, her dad was like "Oh it should work, its a fast one, I just ordered more ram for it.." blah blah, he CLEARLY knew nothing of computers! After trying two more times, we finally just sent the songs to Brad's email. Rachel sits down with me and starts going off about John (her ex) again. Seriously, this was worse then me and Ryan!! She's like "That HS was the only place I had here to come back to, you know?...and now everyone hates me and this girl who is like my best friend says she cant be friends with me anymore because she is friends with him and hes telling everyone I cheated on him- yeah right" omg it was horrible! Then Edger comes in and claims he is half indian and has been to india! So of course, I came back with "ive been there 3 times" :-) hahhahhaha! Anyway, so after that we left Rachel's house and told Edger "I was going home,and they were dropping me at my car"...little did he know this was a ploy to get rid of him! So we dropped his off and beelined the way of the highway, but then turned back around and headed towards Brad's house!
Brad (like Rachel) lives in a hole, literally! Firstly, he owns 49 acers. His dad also collects junk. We enter the house. Luckily his mom wasnt there. I guess he told his mom that I nick named her "mother BR"!! OMG! I could kill him! His dad was sleep in this lazy boy in the corner. The tv was on, his hand was on the remote, and his finger on a button!! LMAO! Brad room was really small. I met his cat, who actually looked just like Animal's cat! Brad like through his hot sexy brother's senior pics on me. They were so hot that I just took 2! ha! He claimed he knew his brother was "bi sexual" and proceeded to show Rachel and I pics of his boyfriend and his girlfriend! haha! Then she showed me all his old drafting stuff. He had designed houses and had won all sorts of awards for his drawing! omg! Then he free handedly drew this car engine! OMG! He needs to be majoring in drafting! Not this history teacher BS! omg! Seriously! He would make SO much more money! He claimed it was a HS hobby! OMG! He needs to take it up again! So after finding a recipt for a black man thong, Brad took me out onto the deck. From the deck, I could see everything. He was right when he said his dad collected junk, because in his back yard, there was an old free loader, AND an old SCHOOL BUS! Yes, a SCHOOL BUS! I wondered if BR had ever taken any guys into that bus! hahahha! Then Brad showed me his basement. It literally looked like his parents were preparing for another Y2k! Seriously! It was insane!
Next came the only part of the night that made the whole trip worth while....Brad took me 4 wheeling! Yes! I tapped the whole thing! The tape looks like The Blair Witch Project! ha! It was soo awesome though! I was like clutching onto BR for dear life! It was SOOO cooool!!!!! BR, YOU ROCK!! Finally, we decided it was time to drive me back to my car. We park next to my car, and call Gen. So for the next hour and a half almost, it was Brad, Rachel and I in the car, talking to Gen on speaker! So Brad keeps going on about him and his ex Brandon, and making Rachel think more and more about her ex, and making her more and more upset. She kept telling Brad to get off the phone, but he didnt! Gen and I started talking Rent, which was great! Meanwhile, Rachel got more and more upset. Brad started calling her new boyfriend a "rebound" and shes like "Oh no hes not, he sees me as more then just a sex toy, if he were a rebound, he would be alot hotter!" (aparently hes really fat). I seriously wanted to tell her that she needed to dump Robert because she was clearly not over John and she could never give her full heart to anyone until she was. But I held back. We got Brad to admit to insist with his brother, which was interesting! LOL! Oh Oh! Then came the kicker of the night! Brad and Gen were talking about how they made out once and Brad was like "oh if I were straight, I would do you, and then Rachel too" Rachel literally burst out crying! She was SOO upset that Brad would choose Gen first over her! OMG! Like she wasnt even kidding she was seriously HURT, OMG BRAD IS G A Y!!! LMAO IT WAS REDICULOUS!!!! SERIOUSLY! I WANTED TO LAUGH SOO HARD! It got to a point where Rachel got out of the car, and sat on the hood of the car!!! OMG!! At that point, Brad finally ended the convo with Gen, I left and he took the crying Rachel home....WOW......just WOW....what a day!!