(no subject)
Yay so I'm pretty sure that my next entry will (finally) be about Destin. Since we finally have the pictures uploaded. But yeah, I'm not on Jacob's computer right now, so I can't actually get to the pictures. Oh well...
...Wow. I feel pretty bad about Heather. She...has this thing against me. Which she has every right to. However, if she really did turn away from me "the night you called me an alcoholic," then she is no better than me, because there where plenty of times after that night when I was around and she could have told me how she felt. I acted selfish. I admit it. But that doesn't mean I deserve "Thanks for not being here. You made for a great night." Whatever.
We went to watch the OC last night at Angelo's and picked our Secret Santa. I got Daniel. And guess what he wants? FSU Cheerleader shorts. No joke. And Jacob got Nick, but I get to buy the present since Jacob has no money left. We're starting a tab now haha. Then we went to karaoke, but we didn't go to Gil's this time. Ali got caught drinking underage, and she's too embarrassed to go back. So we went to Julie's. It was not nearly as nice. I really like the atmosphere as Gil's, and we all decided that we're going back next week regardless.
I bought Jacob and I some barenjaeger too. That stuff is so good. It's like honey. Yum. ::lips smacking::
So, when asked Marissa, who is Jacob to you? the correct response would be...
...
...
...get the picture? He's just Jacob. I'm just Marissa. We're just us. There's no definition for it. No label. We don't need a label. I care about him so much, and I know the feeling is reciprocated. Labels? They just make for expectations, and ideals that you can't always live up to. I don't want to have to sit here and worry about "he's my boyfriend, it's supposed to be like this," or "he's my friend, so we can't do that." I told him the entire weekend we were in Georgia that we should do what we feel, without thinking of the implications. There are no implications.
We just are. And that's the way it should be.
But...
Just because I'm happy with the way things are, doesn't mean I don't have questions. And just because I have questions, doesn't mean that I am upset or hurt or anything. It just means I'm curious about some things.
My main question is, is there any regret? Of all the things we've shared, of all the "firsts" that there have been, is there any wishes to take something back? Or to get something back, as the case may be? Because I worry about that. I don't want there to be any regrets. Everything that has been shared has been amazing, and will continue to be so.
...Wow. I feel pretty bad about Heather. She...has this thing against me. Which she has every right to. However, if she really did turn away from me "the night you called me an alcoholic," then she is no better than me, because there where plenty of times after that night when I was around and she could have told me how she felt. I acted selfish. I admit it. But that doesn't mean I deserve "Thanks for not being here. You made for a great night." Whatever.
We went to watch the OC last night at Angelo's and picked our Secret Santa. I got Daniel. And guess what he wants? FSU Cheerleader shorts. No joke. And Jacob got Nick, but I get to buy the present since Jacob has no money left. We're starting a tab now haha. Then we went to karaoke, but we didn't go to Gil's this time. Ali got caught drinking underage, and she's too embarrassed to go back. So we went to Julie's. It was not nearly as nice. I really like the atmosphere as Gil's, and we all decided that we're going back next week regardless.
I bought Jacob and I some barenjaeger too. That stuff is so good. It's like honey. Yum. ::lips smacking::
So, when asked Marissa, who is Jacob to you? the correct response would be...
...
...
...get the picture? He's just Jacob. I'm just Marissa. We're just us. There's no definition for it. No label. We don't need a label. I care about him so much, and I know the feeling is reciprocated. Labels? They just make for expectations, and ideals that you can't always live up to. I don't want to have to sit here and worry about "he's my boyfriend, it's supposed to be like this," or "he's my friend, so we can't do that." I told him the entire weekend we were in Georgia that we should do what we feel, without thinking of the implications. There are no implications.
We just are. And that's the way it should be.
But...
Just because I'm happy with the way things are, doesn't mean I don't have questions. And just because I have questions, doesn't mean that I am upset or hurt or anything. It just means I'm curious about some things.
My main question is, is there any regret? Of all the things we've shared, of all the "firsts" that there have been, is there any wishes to take something back? Or to get something back, as the case may be? Because I worry about that. I don't want there to be any regrets. Everything that has been shared has been amazing, and will continue to be so.