(no subject)

[brnin_yr_lttrs]

Maybe its different for girls then it is for guys... for me...sex is something big that you only do with people you really care about...not something that i can just throw around and not expect anything back. I dont know but when you are in a situation with someone that you like and they want to have sex with you really bad and you just give in when you know that you are going against your moral and values. You kinda of explode inside its not something anyone esle can understand. I've been hurt alot in the past and i have alot of trust issues...i dont just let people in that easily...i'm sorry if that inpacts the plans you had but the thing i want the most is a boy that doesnt push me into things or say things to make me do something because i will give in. I try to make anyone happy. Over myself. I can't jsut say no to someone. Even if my head is screaming... "JUST SAY NO" "GET UP AND WALK OUT" so I wait until is done then i get up and leave. And in this situation walk around the dorm trying to find someone that is close to me so they can give me a hug and just tell me everythings gonna be alright. I'm sorry maybe im just not use to this college thing where everyone hooks up with everyone. I wish guys would stop looking at me as a sex object. I'm NOT THAT... I'm a fucking person with feelings and I need to treated like i have feelings. I know that you may think that what i need to make me feel better is having sex with someone...but its not. I'm sorry. But i refuse to let you think for a second that im gonna have sex with you again for a while. I dont need it at all. So thank you and have an awesome night.

- Sorry a little ranting and raving I needed to get out.-