same old sh*t
do you ever just stop and think about were you are in life and ask yourself "am i happy" did tonight. its hard to admit this i dont think i am. i have a wonderful daughter and when i look into her eyes or watch her sleep i feel this sense of worth. its like a warmth that over comes my body and i relise what love is. my whole life ive been searching for this feeling that i didnt know was right infront of me the whole time. over the past year and a half i have been fighting some force that i thought my family had against me. theres nothing there but love. they have all my lfe done eveything they can for me and each other. thats love. i treated my parents like shit and walked out on my family but all i had to do was pick up the phone and they brought me back into their home, my home. thats love. over and over again i have hurt these people who have done nothing wrong to me but love and try to protect me. what im trying to say is i thought i loved someone i have given my all to him. he keeps hurting me and i take him back ever time. but i relise that love works both ways.i have been willing to change and help him. just like my family has changed to help me. but i had to help myself alittle too. now that i am a mother i relise that family is all you have. friends will come and go as will lovers. i thought i loved him sometimes i wish i still love him but i cant and i dont. there is someone for me...for us...if i am patient enough he will come. and who knows maybe what i have been searching for has been right infront of me all along.