(no subject)
so another day another complaint. i ahvent written in a while cause i think some people abuse this site. i mean only friends have this and i thought you know if they are friends they wont reveal what is written. and i will admite i ahve done that from time to time and when it was done to me i relised how much it hurt that i couldnt trust friends so all im saying is if you cant keep your mouth shut then STOP READING NOW. so now that thats out on with the drama:
well no more josh for ever! its been the final straw. and now that my life isnt my life anymore i need to make some changes for the better. ive gotten rid of my friends. its sad but i relised they werent my friends in the first place. when i need them the most they pushed me away and talked shit. it was only then that i relised i wasted so much time and energy on nothing. thank god for brian, kate steve carla and the rest of the crew. without them i would be in bed everday. i should ahve listened to them and my family a long time ago they were all right! with in the past couple of days ive been really breaking down more and more. the holiday season is starting and it hurts so much to see families together. babies with there daddys. i cry evertime i go out and see a younge guy with his child. why cant i have that. what did i do wrong. i did everything for josh i lost everything fro him. my dignity my friends and even most important my family. i dont think he even cares. i loved him more than anything and now when i need him the most hes not there. i know it happens and i know that girls get pregnant all the time but this isnt what i pictured. its harder over the holidays too. i mean dont get me wrong i have plenty of support but it hurts to know that i thought i was set and in love and he was it and he said all the things i wanted to hear and they were all lies we created a child from a lie! i can only hope that i raise this child to the best of my ability and i know evryone has doubt in me but as long i beleive myself i know i can do it. its gonna take time. and i have plenty now. it hurts so much and there are times that i wonder if this is the right path for me, but then evertime i doubt things i just hold my pugona andknow everything will be fine. this is the best thing that has happened to me. god chose me for a reseaon i needed help and guidance and he sent me an angel. i can take this ugly situation and turn it into something wonderful. i can only hope josh will turn around not for me but for the little one. she/he did nothing wrong to josh i dont care if we hate each other for ever but he not only needs to cahnge for the child but for himself. i saw something in this boy and i know he can be the man i fell in love with. we can never be again but i cant only hope. and for once in my life be patient. im alwasy in a hurry to the next step in life. i know my prince is out there. and he'll be great ive kissed alot of frogs and one of them is bound to be right. its ok that im alone now it hurts beacsue its only natural to want the male with you but i can do this i need to try and be happy with all that i ahve and not what i losed. the love and support that i ahve from family and friends is better than anything josh has evr given me. i love all of you thank you.
well no more josh for ever! its been the final straw. and now that my life isnt my life anymore i need to make some changes for the better. ive gotten rid of my friends. its sad but i relised they werent my friends in the first place. when i need them the most they pushed me away and talked shit. it was only then that i relised i wasted so much time and energy on nothing. thank god for brian, kate steve carla and the rest of the crew. without them i would be in bed everday. i should ahve listened to them and my family a long time ago they were all right! with in the past couple of days ive been really breaking down more and more. the holiday season is starting and it hurts so much to see families together. babies with there daddys. i cry evertime i go out and see a younge guy with his child. why cant i have that. what did i do wrong. i did everything for josh i lost everything fro him. my dignity my friends and even most important my family. i dont think he even cares. i loved him more than anything and now when i need him the most hes not there. i know it happens and i know that girls get pregnant all the time but this isnt what i pictured. its harder over the holidays too. i mean dont get me wrong i have plenty of support but it hurts to know that i thought i was set and in love and he was it and he said all the things i wanted to hear and they were all lies we created a child from a lie! i can only hope that i raise this child to the best of my ability and i know evryone has doubt in me but as long i beleive myself i know i can do it. its gonna take time. and i have plenty now. it hurts so much and there are times that i wonder if this is the right path for me, but then evertime i doubt things i just hold my pugona andknow everything will be fine. this is the best thing that has happened to me. god chose me for a reseaon i needed help and guidance and he sent me an angel. i can take this ugly situation and turn it into something wonderful. i can only hope josh will turn around not for me but for the little one. she/he did nothing wrong to josh i dont care if we hate each other for ever but he not only needs to cahnge for the child but for himself. i saw something in this boy and i know he can be the man i fell in love with. we can never be again but i cant only hope. and for once in my life be patient. im alwasy in a hurry to the next step in life. i know my prince is out there. and he'll be great ive kissed alot of frogs and one of them is bound to be right. its ok that im alone now it hurts beacsue its only natural to want the male with you but i can do this i need to try and be happy with all that i ahve and not what i losed. the love and support that i ahve from family and friends is better than anything josh has evr given me. i love all of you thank you.