I love sleeping, cuz up in my dreams, the two of us make a good pair
Today was the first time that, in a sober state of mind, I've EVER thought about cheating on someone. Pretty fucked up, I know. But, hell, I didn't do it. I made my big, loving heart, over take the emotions that my bitter, unforgiving head was trying to force into it, and I thought straight. I didn't cheat. I only thought about it. I stopped myself. That counts, right??
Eric and I are fighting, AGAIN. Who knew? Long story that I seriously don't wanna go in to, but the gist is that people are talking, starting shit, saying that he is cheating on me. Which got us into a fight, because he tried to turn it around on ME and say that somehow it's my fault because I don't trust him. Whatever. I'm just...gah. I'm in that state of putting on a show, convincing people that I'm happy, when in reality, I'm miserable. But, two things keep me from ending it, 1) I'm used to commitment and I don't wanna be alone, and 2) I need my money. I simply don't know.
Okay, so he says that I don't trust him. Bullshit. Trust until you're given a reason not to. But, know, when you lose trust it takes a hellaciouslly long time to build it back. I trusted him before. Then, he cheated on me. And, now I trust him somewhat, but not fully. I can't help it. Then, all this shit happens, and I just don't know what to think. I'm not asking for advice, because I know that you guys are probably BEYOND sick of hearing about my DRAMATIC love life. Anyways, I'll stop talking about it.
On a lighter note, I'm going to Ohio on Friday, then the Nickelback concert in 11 days, and then the Andy Davis show in a few months. Possibly throw a Texas trip in there somewhere, too. WHOO HOO! I'm so excited. Independence is so exhilerating. Get this, I'm leaving for Ohio at like 4:30 Friday morning, I'll hopefully be back by like 8.00 (P.m., that is.) at the latest. Then, I'm coming home, crashing, and playing golf with the 'rents and friends on Saturday. Then, coming home and CRASHING 'til fucking noon the next day. WOOT. guh! Actually, I'm excited. I dunno. Much love.
Eric and I are fighting, AGAIN. Who knew? Long story that I seriously don't wanna go in to, but the gist is that people are talking, starting shit, saying that he is cheating on me. Which got us into a fight, because he tried to turn it around on ME and say that somehow it's my fault because I don't trust him. Whatever. I'm just...gah. I'm in that state of putting on a show, convincing people that I'm happy, when in reality, I'm miserable. But, two things keep me from ending it, 1) I'm used to commitment and I don't wanna be alone, and 2) I need my money. I simply don't know.
Okay, so he says that I don't trust him. Bullshit. Trust until you're given a reason not to. But, know, when you lose trust it takes a hellaciouslly long time to build it back. I trusted him before. Then, he cheated on me. And, now I trust him somewhat, but not fully. I can't help it. Then, all this shit happens, and I just don't know what to think. I'm not asking for advice, because I know that you guys are probably BEYOND sick of hearing about my DRAMATIC love life. Anyways, I'll stop talking about it.
On a lighter note, I'm going to Ohio on Friday, then the Nickelback concert in 11 days, and then the Andy Davis show in a few months. Possibly throw a Texas trip in there somewhere, too. WHOO HOO! I'm so excited. Independence is so exhilerating. Get this, I'm leaving for Ohio at like 4:30 Friday morning, I'll hopefully be back by like 8.00 (P.m., that is.) at the latest. Then, I'm coming home, crashing, and playing golf with the 'rents and friends on Saturday. Then, coming home and CRASHING 'til fucking noon the next day. WOOT. guh! Actually, I'm excited. I dunno. Much love.