Brave new world...
Reinventing yourself is an interesting thing...It feels good knowing that there's nothing I really have to feel obligated to right now. My life is. It's not good, it's not bad, it's not anything. It simply is. And I love it. I'm so happy these days and I have no reason to be - it's great. This is a feeling I thought you could only achieve by doing drugs. Well...no, I knew it was attainable without the use of drugs, I simply wasn't sure how to go about attaining it. I'm cheerful from the inside out. My spirit is shining like it hasn't in years. Or perhaps it's never shone like this at all. I'm very spacey right now. Thinking deeply. I'm questioning everything I was taught from the time I was a child. I'm finding childlike joy in things that I haven't allowed myself to feel in years. I got in a snowball fight on the way home from the movie today. I haven't "played" since I was like...14! And then after we settled down, we walked past my friend Dave's car....I made a point of writing positive messages on his windows in the snow. Hehe. As we approached a street corner near my house, I ran and jumped into a pile of snow, and giggled like mad. It was great. I usually HATE getting wet, I hate the cold, I hate snow. My life has taken a new direction, and I think it's a good one. Instead of finding one perfect moment in each day (I've been making a point of doing this for the past few months now) I'm finding many, without even trying...without even looking. We are all the masters of our own destiny. I'm in charge now.