(no subject)
i am in love with the weather right now. it is really weird because a bunch of trees fell down behind my appartment and now a lot of sun comes in my window. but it used to be really dark in my room. i guess thats cool. it's weird when you wake up your curtains are closed so it's dark in your room and you dont know what time it is and you think it's probably like 8 but it's really 12 and then you're like, oh shit well i guess ill just get up now because it's not 8, it's 12 and i have a lot of homework. sometimes i want to do my homework but i absolutely cannot focus. so then i do something else. that is essentially what im doing right now. im sitting on my back porch because it is so nice out. i love when the seasons change. you know sometimes when the weather just gives you this feeling and it makes you remember all this stuff you did around this time of year before. it makes me happy but it kind of makes me sad too. i really like all of my friends i have now but i miss my old friends too. even though i hated highschool and i hated marietta and i hated living at home, but still. you have to take the good with the bad. i hope i dont wish my life away. i always wish the week would be over, or the month, or the year. time flies. even when you arent having fun. and then it's gone. i feel strangely sad right now. i can't explain it. i think im homesick. that is completely unlike me to say, but i havent seen my family in a long time. im going home this weekend. i am kind of excited to be at home. not that i dont love it here. actually i had a lot of fun this weekend. i like walking around downtown during the day. especially when it is really windy and girls' skirts are blowing up because they are too dumb to look out the window before they put on a skirt that basicly shows their underwear. i miss going to atlanta. i miss driving for long distances. i like to be in my car alone and listen to music with the windows down. i like pulling up to a red light with the windows down and continuing to sing even though people are looking at you. there is a huge spiderweb on one of the trees that fell. i wonder if it was there before the tree fell. there isnt a spider in it. i wish i talked to my little sister more. she is awesome. she would do anything for me. i like her. i like my roomates too. sometimes they annoy me but they would do anything for me too. its nice to have people around that genuinely care about you. i miss the people that used to care about me and dont anymore. i dont know if its just because im listenign to depressing music, but i feel sad. i dont really know why. i used to get really sad in highschool. unaturally sad. but i dont really get that sad anymore. but i remember what it was like being that sad. the only thing that makes me really sad now is missing having more close friends. a lot of people pretend to be your friend. a lot of people dont really like you. i am only writing all of this because i know no one will ever read it. let's be honest, if you are actually reading this entire thing you are one of two things: 1. obsessed with me or 2. crazy. i guess those two kind of go hand in hand. but whatever. i dont want to work tonight. i want to sit on the porch forever. i want to sit on the porch forever. i am rambling. i think im insane. but i guess that's cool. i hope someone actually does read all of this and then tells me they appologize but they cant ever talk to me again because i am crazy. that would be awesome. i dont think i have anything else to say.