Umm, can I get directions to Missouri? Oh? Go into the ass crack of America? okay.
Highlights of a place I call MO:
I ate ham and coke for a whole week
The flight attendant on the way there was very obviously a transvestite and had an awful fake british accent
I played pingpong and foosball like it was my name
I saw the stupids otherwise known as my cousins (I didnt name them that, i swear)
I won at scrabble by 76 points (50pts for using all my letters to spell confounded)
I went to the mall and wasted time
we went to the movies
my grandmother told me to "grow up" and then offered me an orange
I got hives
I listened to Ani Difranco compusively
My uncle brutally attacked the red sox and I said some things that I shouldnt have said so loudly around the old people
I ate a whole box of altoids in an hour (Im not proud, but some parts of that state make me really nervous...)
I drew pictures with my mother
My laptop completely and utterly committed suicide
I got money for christmas
it doesnt matter because im still a brokeass
I knitted the time away
My grandmother's house is haunted
I drove a car that is 19 years old but only has 48000 miles on it
I ate Steak and Shake which is like the best thing ever
My grandmother and I made fun of my mother
my mother cried because my family is full of dicks and everyone there is obsessed with guilting and theyre critics
I didnt go to mass
I slept below a crucifix and felt like it was going to fall on me every night
I played basketball and realized how out of shape i am.
this trip was so contrived. I might refuse to do it next year.
I ate ham and coke for a whole week
The flight attendant on the way there was very obviously a transvestite and had an awful fake british accent
I played pingpong and foosball like it was my name
I saw the stupids otherwise known as my cousins (I didnt name them that, i swear)
I won at scrabble by 76 points (50pts for using all my letters to spell confounded)
I went to the mall and wasted time
we went to the movies
my grandmother told me to "grow up" and then offered me an orange
I got hives
I listened to Ani Difranco compusively
My uncle brutally attacked the red sox and I said some things that I shouldnt have said so loudly around the old people
I ate a whole box of altoids in an hour (Im not proud, but some parts of that state make me really nervous...)
I drew pictures with my mother
My laptop completely and utterly committed suicide
I got money for christmas
it doesnt matter because im still a brokeass
I knitted the time away
My grandmother's house is haunted
I drove a car that is 19 years old but only has 48000 miles on it
I ate Steak and Shake which is like the best thing ever
My grandmother and I made fun of my mother
my mother cried because my family is full of dicks and everyone there is obsessed with guilting and theyre critics
I didnt go to mass
I slept below a crucifix and felt like it was going to fall on me every night
I played basketball and realized how out of shape i am.
this trip was so contrived. I might refuse to do it next year.