The Torres Method
The Torres Method
Summary: There was a reason Arizona Robbins felt like emotions were taking over her entire life that night, when she realized Nick was dying, when she slammed Alex against the wall and restricted him. The Torres method is inside of Arizona… literally.
Spoilers: 8x23
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings and events thereof, are properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
She knows that she is a hot mess, she can feel everyone staring at her the second that her hands make contact with Alex Karev's body. She knows that she should care that tomorrow she will be the center of all the talk at Seattle Grace-Mercy West, but then there is this whole other part, the larger part, that just says "fuck it". Alex is her guy, her freakin' guy; he isn't supposed to leave her. He is not supposed to bail out the second that he gets a better offer; he is supposed to have loyalty, friendship, admiration. He owes her, he is supposed to stay. He is not supposed to leave her the way that every other guy in her life that she ever gives a crap about manages to.
Arizona can feel her wife's eyes practically glaring a hole through her back as she pins the rather muscular man against the wall and she swallows a little, knowing the tongue lashing she is sure to receive later. But damn it, she feels the emotions surging through her, like the swell of a storm and she is unable to stop them. She is feeling everything and nothing all at once and she cannot catch a breath, she is not able to form a clear thought before another wave of emotions consumes her.
She can hear herself rambling off something about how he is not supposed to go to John Hopkins and something about how he cannot go on the trip to Boise to perform the separation surgery and she wonders if she actually means it. She wonders if she means any of the things that she is spouting off the top of her head at the moment, or if she is literally just having another emotional breakdown.
When she buried Timothy, she swore she would do her hardest to make sure that she never buried anyone she loved ever again so that she would never have to feel that pain again. She swore that she would work her hardest a surgeon to save those small children, she would be a better daughter, be a better friend, she would do all those little things that make all the difference in the quality of someone's life. She swore to herself that day as they lowered his coffin into the grave, that she would never lose anyone else that she was not willing to part with. But now suddenly, in one fell swoop, she has managed to let the two guys that she loves the most in the world slip between her fingers. First, Nick, her childhood best friend, is dying from cancer. And if that is not bad enough, the guy that she taught to be the next Peds star, the guy that she watched evolve and grow-not only as a surgeon but as a person, is leaving her for a chance at John Hopkins.
In one fell swoop, everyone is leaving her.
A new onset of tears crowd within her eyes as she searches deep within Alex's auburn brown swirls, searching for something, desperately, that tells her that he knows he is making a mistake, that he wants to stay here, with her. But instead, the gruff and scruffy man only looks back at her confused and fearful, unsure of what to say or do. And then, there is something inside of her that just snaps beyond repair.
Callie's hand upon her shoulder catches her off-guard and it is then that she realizes that she is crying. She is not even sure when she started; she chuckles quietly to herself with a soft shake of her head. She feels like a train speeding down the wrong tracks unable to stop, a train that is derailing hard and fast.
"That's enough now." Callie warns softly, her hand gently rubbing her shoulder. Arizona shakes her head, however, pushing Alex tighter against the wall before she looks over at her wife who stares at her with just as concerned and fearful eyes that her resident has.
"Calliope."
"That's enough now, Arizona." Callie's voice raises an octave and Arizona knows the tone quite well. It is the tone that lets her know that she is in trouble, the tone that lets her know that she has somehow managed to disappoint her- for, it is the same tone they use when scolding Sofia. Sighing softly, Arizona steps back, releasing the man who steps to the side, readjusting his lab coat with a glare.
"Keep your wife away from me. She is psycho!" Alex grunts, adjusting the collar of his coat before he shoves his hands in his pockets, storming away in grumbling curses that just miss her ears. Swallowing hard, Arizona looks around at the scene that has now surrounded her, the nurses, doctors, interns are gawking at her, and a few have their cellphones out, texting about what just happened. She cannot help but feel so small in front of them now, just like the first day she arrived here, just like her first day after her return from Africa. A warm blush begins to settle in her cheeks as her eyes venture around the sea of familiar faces before she looks at her wife, who only gazes at her with a concerned and a disapproving scowl.
"Callie I…" Arizona sighs deeply, her body trembling but Callie shakes her head softly.
"Not here. People already have enough to talk about. We don't need to add to it." Callie grumbles, tugging her wife by the elbow, "On call room, now!" The Latina groans, practically pulling her along with her. She can hear the hushed whispers of everyone around her and she can feel the bubbling of annoyance rise up in her stomach. Callie hates people who do this, people who have nothing better to do than sit around and talk about their colleagues, people who have no idea what the gossip chain can actually do to someone's psyche. Callie would know, she groans tugging Arizona along with her, because she has certainly been at the center of many gossip threads at this hospital, most of which involved her less than successful love life.
"Okay, people. Show's over! Let's back to saving lives!" It is Bailey who corrals the group of gawking colleagues, much to both of the women's gratitude. Callie smiles a sheepish smile as a thank you to the short African American woman, nudging her wife closer to the on call room. Bailey only nods in her head in acknowledgement, ushering the crowd away with a flick of her wrist and grumbling complaints that just misses Callie's ears. Chuckling quietly to herself, Callie nudges Arizona into the on call room, quick to shut the door behind them and lock it without so much as second thought.
Glancing around the room, Arizona sighs deeply, biting her bottom lip nervously. The dully painted room filled by four beds has seen plenty of action during its existence, it has heard many stories, it has witnessed many love sagas come together and fall apart. Swallowing hard, Arizona pushes her fingers deep within her golden curls, pacing nervously and erratically, mumbling things to herself that even she cannot hear. She is not even aware that she is crying until the tears start spilling down her cheeks again and she feels a part of her breaking inside. She can hear Callie sighing behind her and a whole new wave of emotion washes over her.
"Arizona." Callie's voice is soothing, just enough to calm Arizona, even if only for a moment. She turns to face the woman, a strand of blonde curl hanging in her face. Callie's eyes are full of compassion and sympathy as she steps toward her wife, "What happened out there?" Arizona shakes her head softly, returning back to her aimless and frantic pacing.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"But I do."
"Calliope, please."
"That is not like you. To attack someone like that, especially Alex, who has done nothing but been there for you. I get it, you know? You're going through a lot. Nick just shows up out of nowhere and tells you about his leg and he lies to you, about how bad it is. And then you learn that he is going to die and it gives you all these flashbacks about your brother and suddenly the only thing you have left of him is gone too. And then Alex tells you he is leaving, you feel like people are bailing on you and it sucks but…" However, Callie is interrupted by Arizona who is practically glaring at her by this point.
"You said it wouldn't happen." Arizona states, looking at her wife with tears in her eyes, her bottom lip quivering to keep the cry from escaping her. Callie looks at her with a wrinkled brow, taking another step toward her wife in curiosity.
"What? That Nick wouldn't die? Arizona, I had no idea that it was this bad. You have to believe me." Callie states, shaking her head as her raven waves messily frame her face. But Arizona only shakes head with what sounds like a scoff, and a gentle laugh dances from her lips.
"This isn't about Nick. Well, maybe it is just a little bit but this isn't really predominately about him. It's about you and me. And Sofia." Arizona chuckles a little and Callie only looks at her with wide, curious eyes. Arizona can practically hear the gears turning in her head and see the smoke come from her ears, trying to figure it all out.
"What?"
"You said it wouldn't happen."
"What, Arizona?"
"The chances were so low…."
"Arizona."
"You said…"
"Would you just tell me?" Callie snaps annoyance clearly present in her voice and Arizona rolls her eyes dramatically.
"I'm pregnant, you idiot!" Arizona exclaims with a quick gesture of her hands and in that moment, Calliope Torres swears that her heart stops beating. Her lips instantly part as a gasp escapes from within her as she takes a stumbling step backwards. Arizona looks at her, her eyes full of tears as she nods her head with a weak chuckle, biting her bottom lip so hard that she almost draws blood.
"That's right! I'm pregnant. Knocked up. Preggers. I have a bun in the oven! I am with child! Your child! The Torres Method is literally inside of me! It is growing! In my uterus! " Arizona exclaims, the tears streaming down her cheeks, looking at Callie as she waits for something, anything, to let her know that this is okay. However, Callie only stares back at her wife, her eyes wide and a new one set of tears appearing within those chocolate brown.
"I know. You said t-this wouldn't happen. Not on the first try. The statistics suggest… but it did happen, Calliope. I am pregnant. We are going to have a baby. And… and my best friend is dying and Alex is leaving and Sofia is barely one. She's barely one, Calliope. She's not ready for a baby brother or sister…" Arizona sighs, twisting her fingers in her golden curls, tugging desperately. Callie looks up under her long eyelashes, her lips moving trying to form words as Arizona looks at her pleadingly.
"We're going to have a baby?" Callie asks in disbelief and Arizona nods her head quietly.
"We are going to have a baby." Arizona whispers softly, "We're not even close to being ready to bring another baby into the world. After what happened with Sofia… everything is so, so messed up right now and we're having a baby."
"We're having a baby." Callie repeats and Arizona looks at her a little confused.
"Yes. Haven't you been listening?" Arizona teases and Callie grins at her. A brilliant grin, a bright and beaming one, the kind that makes Arizona's heart flutter and her stomach flip. It is the smile that stole Arizona's heart that night at Joe's, the smile that reminds her of all her purpose and meaning in this world, the smile that reminds her just why she is alive.
"Yes, but, we're having a baby, Arizona. Do you know how amazing that is? The chances of a woman conceiving during her first try are normally pretty low but you… you are so special. We already knew that, but we didn't know how much. We conceived during our first try. That is so, so amazing. And now, we're going to have a baby. A beautiful baby that is ours. No one else's. A baby that we made together. Not a baby that was created after an ill chosen night with Mark but a baby that was made out of our love for one another. We are going to have a baby¸ Arizona. And none of the rest of it matters." Callie beams, wrapping her arms around Arizona's waist as she pulls her wife closer to her. Arizona nods sniffling, her eyes getting lost in Callie's as she swallows in a deep breath, trying to suppress the cry once more. She hates that she is an emotional mess like this, but if Arizona Robbins is good at one thing, it is bottling things up until they all start flying out.
"But Sofia… she's hardly a year old, Calliope. She isn't even in her terrible two's yet, you know how I feel about that. By the time this baby is born, she will have just turned two. She's not ready for a younger sibling type of responsibility yet. And she's… she's not going to understand why we bring a new baby home… a baby that doesn't look like her…" Callie interrupts her wife's nervous rant by placing a soft kiss on her lips. Automatically, Arizona curls against her wife, smiling into the kiss. Callie chuckles quietly, pulling away with a brilliant grin plastered upon her face.
"So, we will get her ready. There are tons of movies and books out there to prepare an older sibling for the arrival of a baby. And we'll just make sure she's really involved in the pregnancy. She'll go to the doctor appointments with us and we'll buy clothes together and paint your tummy and stuff. We'll teach her. She'll be awesome. Because she's your daughter." Callie smiles, her hands gently running up and down Arizona's back. The curly haired blonde looks away, wiggling nervously in her wife's arms as she inhales deeply.
"What about Alex? He's going to leave for John Hopkins and I need someone to be here during my maternity leave. I don't have time to train someone else to be half as good as he is and I am not leaving my reputation and career in the hands of someone who isn't going to take it as seriously as we do. I need him and he's leaving. After everything. He's… he's going to leave." Arizona exhales in a deep sigh and Callie smiles, tucking a curl behind Arizona's ear affectionately.
"Well, I'll kick his ass until he agrees to stay. And if that doesn't work, I did sleep with him a long, long, long time ago and I can certainly spread it around that Alex Karev is not packing any heat, if you know what I mean." Callie teases with a wink and Arizona can't help but laugh at her wife's silliness. And people thought that she was the humorous one in their relationship, boy, were they dead wrong.
"Promise?"
"Oh, cross my heart." Callie laughs and Arizona chuckles with her. But then, the silence soon fades over the room as the Peds surgeon looks at her wife most lovingly. The two of them had been through so much in their lives, so much heart ache and pain, they have been through so many struggles, they deserve their happily ever after but Arizona cannot help but wonder if they will ever get it.
"And Nick?" At the mentioning of his name, Callie hangs her head with a heavy sigh and the tears prick within Arizona's eyes once more. Nodding quietly, she looks down at the same spot on the floor in which she had been staring moments before, kicking at a speck of dirt absently.
"But it's going to be okay. You and I, we are going to have a baby. A beautiful baby. Sofia is going to have a brother, or sister. I'm pulling for a girl. Because I think I make cute girls. And a tiny Arizona would be the cutest thing ever to have pitter pattering around our apartment." Callie grins and Arizona smiles, nodding her head with a giggle.
"Yeah," Arizona smiles excitedly, "or maybe a little brother. Sofia needs a tiny Tim." She beams a bright dimple revealing grin and Callie feels her heart practically skip a beat, the same way it did that night at Joe's after their first kiss. Callie laughs quietly, reaching her hand between their two bodies to softly caress her wife's small stomach.
"Oh, you better be a girl if you know what is good for you. Uncle Mark would have too much fun teaching you things if you are a boy. We need a nice, quiet, calm child. So, please. Please come out in a tutu, loving pink and ponies." Callie pleads and Arizona laughs loudly in a heartwarming chuckle. Smiling practically from ear to ear, Arizona leans against the Latina, her bottled blues looking deep into her eyes.
"Do you think we are ready, Calliope? For a baby?" Arizona asks.
"We have eight whole months to get ready, babe." Callie beams brightly, the excitement etched upon her face and Arizona cannot help but smile as well. This is an exciting moment; she knows this in her heart, because they are expecting a child. A child that was not created out of bitterness or anger or in search of a 'sorbet' but a child made out of their everlasting love for one another, a child that is completely their own, a little piece of Torres and Robbins mixed together. They are having a baby, something that some women dream their entire lives about. And damn it, Arizona Robbins is going to be happy about that, even if the baby's conception is being revealed during some of the worst situations. Leaning forward, she places a soft kiss against Callie's lips and the Latina returns the kiss just as happily with a grin. After a few moments, Arizona pulls away; lowering her hand to place it atop of Callie's proudly.
"So, how hormone crazed was I out there?" Arizona asks and Callie chuckles warmly.
"I'm sure it was nothing compared to my vagina vote debacle." Callie answers honestly and Arizona laughs at the recollection of Calliope's use of the 'vagina vote' and how it allowed her to make the decision to drink one coffee a day. At the time, Arizona had only wanted Calliope to have the healthiest pregnancy and baby ever; little did she know that a few short months later, their daughter would be born premature after a car accident that was mostly her fault. Granted, things are so incredibly much better now, and their daughter is fine, but the scene of Callie lying on the hood of their car still haunts Arizona sometimes.
"Calliope," Arizona chuckles, lacing her fingers around her wife's, "it was bad, wasn't it?"
"Oh yeah. You were a monster. But we can blame the baby this time." Laughs Callie and suddenly, for the first time in the past few days, Arizona can't help but feel like everything is going to be okay. No cars are going to come out of nowhere, Alex will stay, and they will have a beautiful Robbins-Torres baby. This is the start of their happy ever after.