Last Song
Summary: “Look at the stars, how they shine for you and all the things that you do.” They are all headed on different paths after graduation but Quinn has one last request to make of Rachel.
Pairing: Quinn/Rachel
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
The sun is setting in the west, just above the luscious green mountains that are now blooming with life along with the different colors of the wild flowers and newly leafing trees. Splashes of red and orange and yellow color the once lifeless sky, touching everything and every one in its path; it stretches for miles and miles beyond the human eye, coloring the world and the small town of Lima with beauty that is unspeakable. The puffy clouds fail in comparison to the spring like beauty that now surrounds them as they drift away with the warm May breeze that trifles through her hair and traces the lines upon her softly delicate face.
This place had been Quinn Fabray's kingdom; this was the place where she led Sue Sylvester's Cheerios to their state title, the place where New Directions had went to National two years in a row and finally took the title this year. This had been the place where she grew up, where she had grown old. The place where she found her strength in the weakness, where she found light in the darkest abyss, where she learned that her happiness laid within herself instead of boys. This had been the place where she found redemption and salvation in the exact moment she fell, where she learned how to love without holding back and laugh through her tears. This had bad been the place where Quinn Fabray found her true self in ways that she never imagined; where she had learned to accept herself.
She sits in the parking lot of William McKinley High, atop of her red, slightly broken down, car. Her red gown left in a disheveled mess in the driver's seat, laying disregard and ignored, as if only fifteen minutes ago it was of no importance. Her red summer dress curves around her slender body, brushing against the dusty head lights of her car as she thumbs her tassel. The dangling silver year logo brushes against her fingers and she freezes at the brief meeting of metal against her soft skin. This had been her sanctum and now she, along with her closest friends, loves of the past and the unrequited kind, now have to leave it all behind. For a better tomorrow.
But she is not so sure that she buys that. The better tomorrow shit. They are all going their own ways; they are all falling apart; they, the closest thing that she has to a family, will never see each other again after this day. Most will go to different instate colleges, some will go out of state, some will not go to college at all but will follow other dreams, dreams of success, dreams of a family. Some will stay in Lima, while others will be separated on the other side of the state. Some will live in regret while others live in happiness. Some will be in New York City on Broadway while she is in Lima, Ohio selling real estate, grieving over the life that she never got to have with her daughter and the one that she loved so dearly. They are losing each other, losing their way, losing innocence and freedom. How is any of that supposed to be better?
She looks up from her red tassel, squinting at the sunlight that cascades across their small town, the sunlight that dances upon her face and throughout her body. She inhales deeply as she closes her warm hazel eyes, taking in the moment, one of the last moments the class of McKinley High will ever have together. She clinches her eyes tightly as the sounds of the crowd seem to fade away, she wishes with all of her might to go back. To go back to her first days here, to do it all again, differently, of course. To do it better, to be better. For her. For every one. To experience real love, true love, honest love instead of pushing it away out of fear of what her parents would think, fear of what people would say, fear of how God would perceive her, especially through her tumbling sinful ways. She wishes she could do it all again, because this time, she would not be alone.
“Baby Mama,” Noah Puckerman calls her out of her thoughts as he slides onto the hood of her car. Quinn opens her eyes softly as she smiles at him; nobody would ever know Noah Puckerman like she did. Every one saw him as a tough, football playing bad ass with a Mohawk, but he had always been so much more than that. He is an honest, beautiful man, who would give the world for the people that he loved. He is a man who almost gave up everything to give a better life for their daughter, a man who always helped her find solace, even in her darkest hours.
“It's crap,” Quinn forces a sick laugh as the strands of the tassel slip between her fingers and the tears threaten to glisten within her eyes, “they say that it is about the Friday night football games, about the parties, about the picnics under the open sky. That it is about riding around in trucks, going swimming in the heat of summer, about spending time with each other. Doing fun things, embarrassing things. They say that is what matters. But it's crap. Because love matters.” She sniffles as Noah places his hand on her thigh, giving it a careful squeeze. Her hazel eyes meet his dark swirls and it takes all she has to keep from falling apart.
“I really loved you. Do you know that? You weren't.. you are not some chick that I just screwed at some party and fucked up with by not wearing a condom. You were never that girl. I would have given you a good life with our daughter. Sure, it was not the life that either of you deserved, you deserved more than that. But it would have been good because I loved you,” Puck explains with a nod of his head and Quinn smiles through her tears. They could have been good, but Noah deserves amazing. She deserves amazing.
“I know. I loved you too. I really did. But it wouldn't have worked for us. We both wanted different things, headed down different paths. And I will always love you, Noah. You gave me Beth. But now you can give Lauren that life. And you guys can be happily in love and have little bad ass Mohawk wearing babies. It is for the best,” Quinn forces a smile with a soft nod, licking her dry lips as she studies the crowd around her. There is a distance in her eyes, the fog, the hurt, every little thing that lets him know that she is not okay, no matter how many times she lies to every one else that she is.
“What is wrong? I know you. And you have never been the one to get all choked up about some stupid graduation, the last school event we are required to attend. You are not the type to get all sentimental about not seeing these losers again, in fact I thought you would be practically freakin' skipping with joy that you don't have to face 'em anymore. So, what's wrong?” Noah intrigues, with a wrinkling of his brow but to the question Quinn only shakes her head with a sniffle, her eyes fixated upon the dazzling brunette.
“Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Really. I'm probably just pmsing or something,” chokes out Quinn, desperately trying to keep the watering tears at bay. The brunette smiles, removing her cap as she wraps her arms around Finn in a tight hug, laughing at something that just misses her ears and her stomach twists in a tight knot at the scene. Curious, Noah's eyes follow her own until he finds out what she has so solemnly been studying and instantly the worried look slips from off his face.
“Berry?” Although he whispers her name softly, it feels as if a thousand knifes are being shoved into her chest at the sound of the two syllable name leaving his lips. The hot tears burn in her eyes a choking cry escapes from within her, a cry that she did not even know that she had been holding back. It surprises her with a startling jump when his arm slips around her back, softly trying to sooth her but it only fails.
“I never got to tell her,” Quinn cries with a laugh, “I suppose that is what I deserve. I spent my whole life torturing her, making her feel like shit, making her feel like nothing she did was right and that she kept fucking up my life. I spent so much time making her miserable because it was easier. Easier than admitting to her that I loved her. That I w-wanted to be with her. People would have talked, would have made our lives hell. So, I made her life hell instead. And now.. now she is going to New York and I never got to tell her that I...”
“That you love her,” Noah smiles and Quinn's eyes flicker to meet his.
“How did you...”
“I just do,” shrugs Noah, picking at an absent string on his jeans, “and I don't treat you any differently, do I? None of us would or will treat you any differently. We are a family, Quinn. And as a family, we want our members to be happy. Which you're not. You should.. you should tell her. You never know what could happen.”
“It wouldn't matter. She is leaving for New York anyway. She has been counting down the months, weeks, days until it is her chance to live in the big city. Besides it is not exactly like one admission of love will change her mind. Especially if that admission is from someone who has made her life a living hell for the past two years,” Quinn shrugs absently, watching as the brunette weaves her way through the crowd of friendly faces, smiling and nodding and talking when she felt the need me. Quinn bites her lip softly; she feels it slipping, her life, her love, away from her.
“You don't know that,” Noah exclaims as Rachel approaches them, “maybe she has been just as scared and just as confused as you have. You don't know that. Don't sit on the sidelines and watch other people play the game because you are scared. You are more than that, Quinn. You are better than that.” He glares at her and she sucks in a breath, wiping the tears from her eyes as she approaches. She cannot see her like this, not now, not after everything that they have been through.
“Noah,” Rachel beams and Quinn can't help but roll her eyes inwardly. Of course, on one of the most emotional days of their lives, she would be beaming with sunshine and also, angels. She laughs to herself about that one, oh how those days have flown by. Noah jumps down from off the hood, smiling at his ex girlfriend before he wraps her in a tight hug and the bile rises in Quinn's throat.
“I just wanted to say thank you. For everything,” Rachel whispers, pulling out of the hug and instantly the light catches the angles upon her face and she is nothing but purely flawless. Quinn struggles to catch her breath that she unknowingly has taken away from her as she twists her long fingers through her golden mane. A part of her will never understand how this happened, how the one person who challenged her, who infuriated her, could make her feel so much. She had been the only person to make her feel anything, at all. She watches as she and Noah exchange compliments and goodbyes before her dark auburn eyes study hers and she almost forgets how to breathe.
“Quinn,” Rachel smiles, “I.. I know this hasn't been the easiest experience for you. Between getting pregnant at only sixteen to every one finding out about your past and your family... but I like to think that it made you stronger. It made you better. You are ready to handle anything life brings your way. I know that we have had a rocky past but.. I wish you well. I really, truly do.” The smaller woman wraps her arms around her, resting her chin against her shoulder and Quinn inhales deeply, breathing in her scent of passion and strength, mesmerizing the moment of calm in the heaviest storm that she has ever known. Slowly, the brunette pulls away, flicking a stray hair away from her face as her eyes venture between the two faces in front of her.
“So, I guess this is goodbye. If you guys are ever in New York... look me up,” nods Rachel with a smile, sharing one last glance with the both of them before she turns, her dress flaring for a moment before she begins to walk away. Quinn watches her silently for a moment before Noah's elbow hard in her ribs reminds her this is not a moment for silently watching.
“R-Rachel,” stutters Quinn and the brunette turns around with a wrinkling of her brow in confusion, “I.. there is something that I want to tell you. Something that I need to tell you. And I know that this is not the time nor the place except I can't wait any longer. It can't wait.” With Puck nudging her forward, she takes a step toward Rachel, whose eyes dart around the crowded parking lot like a deer on opening season.
“Quinn, I don't.. my dads are waiting. We are having this really celebratory dinner and my family, believe it or not, is not the patient kind. Maybe you could call me later or I can come over tomorrow or...”
“No. Just.. no. I have to do this now. Because if I don't do it now then I will lose my nerve and we will never get the chance to.. I will never get the chance to... Rachel I...” Quinn is stuttering nervously as Rachel watches her with troubled and worried eyes, trying desperately to make sense of what she is saying. As the sun is setting farther in the west, Quinn swallows hard, looking at Puck for support who only mouths the word sing. It is only a one syllable word but it is that one word that brought them all together in the first place, the word that gave them all purpose. She closes her eyes, tapping her foot softly before her eyes become fixated upon Rachel's.
“Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do, yeah, they were all yellow,” Quinn sings, taking a few steps toward Rachel as Noah races to grab his guitar from his car. The two of them share an all knowing gaze, a gaze in which no words were said and Quinn smiles at her.
“I came along, I wrote a song for you, and all the things you do and it was called yellow. So then I took my turn, oh what I think to have done and it was called yellow,” Quinn smiles, reaching forward for Rachel's hand. The brunette looks at the upturned palm, her eyes flickering up to find Quinn's warm hazel and suddenly everything comes into perspective, everything begins to make sense. She laces her fingers around the blond's and Quinn's face lights up in another gorgeous smile.
“Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones turn into something beautiful. You know, you know, I love you so. You know, you know, I love you so.” Quinn pulls her closer with a spin, their bodies moving together to the rhythm of the song, to the careful chords that are now being strummed from what seems to be miles away. Slowly, it all fades away, the crowd, the noise, the sudden gawking of others at their sudden outburst of song, until it only becomes the two of them, slow dancing in a busy parking lot.
“I swam, I jumped across for you, oh what a thing to do, because you were all yellow. I drew a line, I drew a line for you, oh what a thing to do and it was all yellow,” Quinn smiles, twirling her in her arms before she picks her up, sitting her on the hood her car and she counts the different swirls of innocence flushed within Rachel's eyes. How could she have ever denied such a true love? Such a pure love? Such a passionate love?
“Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones turn into something beautiful. And you know for you, I'd bleed myself dry. I'd bleed myself dry for you,” The music fades away for a moment as Quinn takes a step back, studying Rachel's face before she launches into the last verse with a spinning twirl and wide grin.
“Its true, look how they shine for you, look how they shine for you, look how they shine for, look how they shine for you, look how they shine for you, look how they shine,” Quinn dances, extending her arms outward gesturing the sky before she comes closer to Rachel, lost in each others soft gaze, her hands spiraled around the brunette's thighs as she shakes her head in disbelief.
“Look at the stars, look at how they shine for you, and all the things you do,” serenades Quinn before the music fades away completely and there is left nothing but only silence. And then something unexpected. Applause. The crowd that she had so absently forgotten about is now cheering her on; the people that she had been so afraid of judging her are now the people that are applauding her serenading the star of New Directions. Quinn looks at Rachel, who only sits star struck with watery eyes and she smiles at her with a sniffling laugh.
“I know you think that I hate you but I don't. The reason that I was mean to you.. the reason that I didn't want you and Finn together.. do you understand it now? The reason that I was the way I was? I couldn't.. it was easier to make you think that I hated you than to admit it to myself what I really felt. But I do. I feel it. I feel everything. You are the only person who can make me feel anything, Rachel,” Quinn admits, kicking absently at a speck of dirt that just misses the human eye, the blush softly curling within her cheeks.
“Well Quinn, I admire the gesture but I'm leaving for New York and..”
“I know. I know that you think that you can only have one of the two. Success or love. I know that you think that it is a black and white decision but that's not true. Life is not always black and white. Sometimes it's grey. And this.. this is a grey matter. Because you can have love, true love, honest love, passionate love, if you want it. And you can have Broadway. It doesn't have to be one or the other. I can be a real estate agent in New York, just as much as in Lima, if I had a reason to go. If you give me a reason to go,” Quinn exclaims and Rachel only stares at her, her mouth slightly ajar as she tries to make sense of the thousand thoughts that are screaming in her head.
“She loves you, Berry,” Noah pipes in, much to Quinn's dismay, “people look for love their entire lives, they fight for it, die for it, without ever knowing it. And here she is, serenading you with some crappy Coldplay song in front of all your friends and family, she loves you. The good kind of love. The love that Finny boy never gave to you, and never will be able to go. Success and fame is the loneliest thing without someone to share it with. She loves you, she has loved you all along. You can't sit here and tell us that it doesn't matter because love is the only thing that matters.”
“Love is the key to happiness,” smiles Quinn, “look, you don't.. you don't have to say anything now. I know this is a lot to take in, especially after everything that has happened between you and Finn. I know that you are scared. You are scared of getting hurt, of getting tossed away or being used. You are afraid that you can't have them both, but I am standing here, in front of God and every one and tell you that you can. If you choose it. We could burn the brightest shade of yellow, Berry. If you just let me love you. We could have it all and you know that. Don't be afraid of it.” She leans forward, placing a chaste kiss upon her cheek before she walks away, to mingle with Santana and Brittany who are not so patiently calling her name. Rachel watches her silently with tears in her eyes as she twists her fingers in her hair, tugging slightly as she chokes out a sniffling cry.
“Quinn Fabray is certainly not easy, is she?” sniffles Rachel and Puck shrugs.
“I don't know, tell her that she is beautiful and she is pretty easy,” To this joking reply, Puck receives a slap in the back of the head. He glares at Rachel who jumps off the hood of Quinn's car, her brow furred together and the utmost passion racing through her auburn eyes.
“Shut it, Puckerman! Nobody talks about my girlfriend like that!” screeches Rachel and Puck smirks.
“Girlfriend?” Puck intrigues, crossing his arms over his very buff chest. The accusation takes Rachel aback, had she really just said that aloud? Girlfriend. Girl-friend. Girlfriend. Quinn Fabray is her girlfriend. The girl who purposely sabotaged every relationship she had with Finn, the girl who is the mother to her adopted half sister, the girl who sit with her in the plastic surgeon's office and was willing to give her her nose. The girl who has seemingly always been there for every event in her life, no matter what the consequence may be. The girl who loved just as strongly and as passionately as she had; after all, she had just willingly serenaded her in front of thousands of people.
“Y-yeah. I guess so,” Rachel stutters, “but I don't know how that fits in with New York and..”
“Shut up, Rachel and go get your girl before I have to play that stupid sappy over the top Coldplay song about some stupid color again. Because I swear, I will kill all of you and then myself.” Noah demands, glaring at her, “she deserves to be happy. You deserve to be happy. So go be freakin' happy with each other already!” To this, Rachel giggles as she leans in, placing a kiss upon his cheek with a wide smile.
“Thanks, Noah,” Rachel smiles before she pushes through the crowd. He watches her smile politely, pushing through the family and the friends before she finds Quinn. She smiles at her before she throws her arms around her and pulls her into a large kiss. He chuckles as the crowd bursts into applause once again at their deep kiss, Quinn threads her fingers through Rachel's hair as they deepen their kiss. Smiling with a soft shake of his head, he shoves his hands in his pockets and heads on his way.
“Noah Puckerman. Saving relationships, one Jew at a time,” He smirks before disappearing into the warm setting sun.