once upon a time, all the thoughts drained from my mind...
~once upon a time
all the thoughts drained from my mind
now who will be this bitter girl's
lovely valentine?~
everything is really just a state of mind
pain, emotions, movement...
all of it comes from the depths of your mind.
so there must be a way to overcome it all, right?
if you can just somehow block out the messages your mind sends, at least most of them
you could be in more control over your actions, emotions, and what you feel...
in theory.
i'm not saying you can overcome everything
hell, overcoming anything is so close to impossible
but not quite there.
i mean, there are people who block out happiness from their lives,
people who don't feel sadness,
people who don't feel love,
and people who don't feel remorse, or empathy.
there are people who don't feel things such as hatred, and jealousy.
is it common?
no, not at all.
i don't think so...
but these people do exist.
there are even people who feel numb to every emotion.
or some only feel one,
such as, let's say, revenge.
so why can't we just choose one emotion,
on simple emotion
and learn to overcome it?
i want to overcome shyness.
but i can't get my mind around it.
(my MIND. see, it all comes back to that one word.)
what if i say the wrong thing,
or act the wrong way?
hence, shyness kicks in.
but if i can somehow eliminate those thoughts,
that thought-process,
i could potentially rid of my shyness.
right?
but how do you do that?
all i want is to be able to be upfront about my feelings
to a boy
or something.
or to meet new friends
without a problem. just walk up and say 'hey'
i want to be able to talk to someone i don't even know
without getting tongue-tied
and i know that doesn't just come from shyness,
there are other aspects
but perhaps if i could work on one thing, i could work my way up to the rest...
it's just a theory.
i don't intend to prove it
just mull it over
again and again
in my mind.
because that's all i can do.
or all i will do.
i don't even know.
i've been thinking about that day of hearts and hugs and kisses and chocolates.
yes, THAT day.
starts with a "v" and ends with an "alentine's"
i've always hated it.
always always always.
i say it comes from 1) the fact that it's my birthday, and i'd rather just celebrate that
and 2) that something bas always happens to me in relation to valentine's day, thereby meaning something bad happens to me, every year, on my birthday.
what if it wasn't in fact those reasons?
what if it's because i have never had someone special on that day
to share it with?
i've never gotten to experiance valentine's day as what it's supposed to be
a day to be with that special person in your life...
now, i still think it's an overrated hallmark holiday
and i still think every day should be SOMEWHAT special when you're with someone
or even when you're not... life should just be a special experiance
all though, it should also be far less corny than those words i just uttered (or rather, typed)
but anyway, to the point
i think, i should not judge the day SO unfairly,
to the point that i have
when i have never really viewed it from all sides.
it's a biased judgement that i speak
and i hate that
so i'm trying to be more reasonable.
i still hate the day
but at the same time
i still want to experiance it for what it's supposed to be...
and for what the people that love it experiance it as
plus, i wouldn't mind all the chocolate O:D
so, who will be my valentine?
(and buy me tons of chocolate and candies :D)
and ohhhhhhhhhhhhh man.
my school is doing "Song-O-Grams"
...Tri-M (music honors society) kids are basically up for hire
to sing a song from a pre-set list
to someone of your choice
plus the person gets a chocolate
all for a mere $5.
i really wanna send one to someone, hehe.
(just as a joke though)
a 5 dollar laugh though...
is it really worth it?
...i wish i could read minds.
how awesome would that be?
to know, right away
what a guy thinks of you
so you don't waste so much time
with "maybe"s
and "he could feel the same way....."
and hours painfully replaying days
and trying to deceifer his signals
or lack there of...
...or if a friend is mad at you,
and to be able to know why.
so you could maybe work it out quicker
instead of dancing circles around one another
with "i'm not really mad...."s and "yes, you are, now tell me what's wrong!"s...
just a thought.
all the thoughts drained from my mind
now who will be this bitter girl's
lovely valentine?~
everything is really just a state of mind
pain, emotions, movement...
all of it comes from the depths of your mind.
so there must be a way to overcome it all, right?
if you can just somehow block out the messages your mind sends, at least most of them
you could be in more control over your actions, emotions, and what you feel...
in theory.
i'm not saying you can overcome everything
hell, overcoming anything is so close to impossible
but not quite there.
i mean, there are people who block out happiness from their lives,
people who don't feel sadness,
people who don't feel love,
and people who don't feel remorse, or empathy.
there are people who don't feel things such as hatred, and jealousy.
is it common?
no, not at all.
i don't think so...
but these people do exist.
there are even people who feel numb to every emotion.
or some only feel one,
such as, let's say, revenge.
so why can't we just choose one emotion,
on simple emotion
and learn to overcome it?
i want to overcome shyness.
but i can't get my mind around it.
(my MIND. see, it all comes back to that one word.)
what if i say the wrong thing,
or act the wrong way?
hence, shyness kicks in.
but if i can somehow eliminate those thoughts,
that thought-process,
i could potentially rid of my shyness.
right?
but how do you do that?
all i want is to be able to be upfront about my feelings
to a boy
or something.
or to meet new friends
without a problem. just walk up and say 'hey'
i want to be able to talk to someone i don't even know
without getting tongue-tied
and i know that doesn't just come from shyness,
there are other aspects
but perhaps if i could work on one thing, i could work my way up to the rest...
it's just a theory.
i don't intend to prove it
just mull it over
again and again
in my mind.
because that's all i can do.
or all i will do.
i don't even know.
i've been thinking about that day of hearts and hugs and kisses and chocolates.
yes, THAT day.
starts with a "v" and ends with an "alentine's"
i've always hated it.
always always always.
i say it comes from 1) the fact that it's my birthday, and i'd rather just celebrate that
and 2) that something bas always happens to me in relation to valentine's day, thereby meaning something bad happens to me, every year, on my birthday.
what if it wasn't in fact those reasons?
what if it's because i have never had someone special on that day
to share it with?
i've never gotten to experiance valentine's day as what it's supposed to be
a day to be with that special person in your life...
now, i still think it's an overrated hallmark holiday
and i still think every day should be SOMEWHAT special when you're with someone
or even when you're not... life should just be a special experiance
all though, it should also be far less corny than those words i just uttered (or rather, typed)
but anyway, to the point
i think, i should not judge the day SO unfairly,
to the point that i have
when i have never really viewed it from all sides.
it's a biased judgement that i speak
and i hate that
so i'm trying to be more reasonable.
i still hate the day
but at the same time
i still want to experiance it for what it's supposed to be...
and for what the people that love it experiance it as
plus, i wouldn't mind all the chocolate O:D
so, who will be my valentine?
(and buy me tons of chocolate and candies :D)
and ohhhhhhhhhhhhh man.
my school is doing "Song-O-Grams"
...Tri-M (music honors society) kids are basically up for hire
to sing a song from a pre-set list
to someone of your choice
plus the person gets a chocolate
all for a mere $5.
i really wanna send one to someone, hehe.
(just as a joke though)
a 5 dollar laugh though...
is it really worth it?
...i wish i could read minds.
how awesome would that be?
to know, right away
what a guy thinks of you
so you don't waste so much time
with "maybe"s
and "he could feel the same way....."
and hours painfully replaying days
and trying to deceifer his signals
or lack there of...
...or if a friend is mad at you,
and to be able to know why.
so you could maybe work it out quicker
instead of dancing circles around one another
with "i'm not really mad...."s and "yes, you are, now tell me what's wrong!"s...
just a thought.