[LOG] - Ulyana: Curiosity
Title: Curiosity
Summary: Ulyana chats with Katriona. Histories are discussed and a firelizard is eyed dubiously.
Characters: Katriona, Ulyana
Location: Hot Springs, Fort Weyr
Time: Day 5, month 8, turn 35 of Interval 10
RL Date: 08/21/2014
It's a bit later in the evening and, while most residents aren't on-duty, one seems to have volunteered herself to keep working. Ulyana is near the entrance of the cavern, carefully scrutinizing the contents of the shelves and benches. She's keeping a dutiful tally of items all the while, despite the occasional sort who passes by and snatches up this pot or that towel while on their way to the pools. Indeed, it's getting increasingly more busy - prime time for bathing and a poor time for taking inventory. Those acquisitions by others are marked off the list in some manner, and so the seemingly never-ending task continues.
Katriona, meanwhile, has seated on the edge of one of the hot springs, watching a green firelizard who has been cavorting in the steam. Her arm looks to be freshly bandaged; a pot of numbweed and a set of soiled bandages are piled next to her, waiting to be discarded. When she gets to her feet and moves to depart, she carefully gathers these up. Her path out, however, takes her right past Ulyana and the shelves. "Hey!" she offers brightly, in greeting to the other girl.
A final note is made before Ulyana seems to acknowledge the greeting. Her head lifts and she half-turns to face Katriona with a slow, impassive blink. "Hello," she replies and starts to fold the hides neatly together. Her inscrutable gaze does a quick, singular sweep and, when her eyes return to fix on Kat's face, there's a fine crease between her brows. She leaps right past the predictable 'how do you do's and directly to: "What happened to your arm?" She steps a little to one side, closing a little of the distance between them to permit a few more people to pass by, unimpeded.
Katriona glances down at the bandage. "Someone tripped, down in the laundry," she offers matter-of-factly. "They were carrying a pot of boiling water; it spilled on me and burned my arm. It was all red and blistered, but it's getting better now. I have to keep the bandages changed, though." She looks over the shelves, and then back to Ulyana. "What're you doing? This the chore you have today, or just more research of your own?"
Ulyana grants a slow, left-right-center shake of her head. "They should have been more careful," she observes. "It could have been much more serious than a burn to the arm." Something about that possibility unnerves the girl in an obvious way; a shiver trips down her spine and she continues, "I am glad that it was not worse. How long will it take to heal? Do they know?" Her work ends up stuffed in a nearby satchel - a satchel perched atop a towel, a change of clothes, and a pair of sandals. "I was sent to take inventory earlier," she explains after a long moment. "But I was curious to see how many towels and pots of sand were used throughout the day." Another slow blink ensues. "It is not as much as I anticipated. Perhaps more people bathe in the morning than I thought."
"Goldrider Lilah tended to it; she says it will take a while to heal, but it could have been a lot worse. But for now I have to stay on cold water duty or mending. But there's not as much mending right now, so I may go see if I can help with something else while it heals." Kat cuts off the rush of words as the other ex-Candidate's shiver sinks in; she favors Ulyana with that sparrow-like curious headtilt. It's one of the only signs of actual /emotion/ she's seen from the other girl before. "Is something wrong?"
"I am sure she did a good job." It's a reasonable presumption on Ulya's part, at any rate. Her gaze dips to briefly skim the bandaging, but it's quick to lift and settle on something - anything - else. "There is always something to do. Perhaps you can assist with records," because, of course, that's the only thing that comes immediately to her mind. That thought is slow to end but it does, trailing into the ether some moments after Kat tilts her head. Ulyana's headtilt is a mirror of it, mechanical more than avian. "It is nothing wrong. Just a memory." One shoulder rises and falls in a lopsided shrug. "One of the children I knew at Crom Hold was causing trouble in the kitchens once. It-" she hesitates here, jaw tightening just a touch "-did not end well."
"Oh... I'm sorry. Were you hurt? Or did you work in the kitchen there? Or something else?" Katriona's questions pick up speed once again, and then she cuts off, offering a self-conscious grin. "Sorry. It just seems like everyone else has had interesting lives, so I want to learn things. And questions are sometimes the best way to do that."
"I was sick." Ulyana's mouth twists to one side - then it settles into a cool, neutral line. "I only knew of what happened because he was taken to the infirmary when I was there." A beat. "They could not save his sight." The cessation of questions is met, curiously, with a knitting of her brows. "There is no need to apologize for asking questions," she notes. "That is why I ask them. If you do not ask, you will not know the answers." Here, there's another tilting of her head in that strange, calculated way. "I do not mind answering them, even if other people seem to." It's another second or two before: "I am sure your life is more interesting. What have you enjoyed learning about the most?"
"Mine wasn't that interesting. Dirt poor family..." Katriona shrugs dismissively, before considering Ulyana's question more thoughtfully. "Seeing all the different people coming here. Here we have people from holds, from halls, who grew up in the weyr... and there's the dragons, the people, and..." She ducks pre-emptively, as the green firelizard she was watching over the pools darts playfully over her head. "...well, lots of things."
"You have a family." Ulyana tips her head up just a touch. "That is more interesting than you seem to think." The arrival of the firelizard earns a reflexive recoil and a renewed tightening of her jaw before her typical indifference claims her posture and manner. Her attention remains firmly on Katriona, though there's an edge of wariness to her with the creature passing relatively nearby. "What sorts of stories have you heard?" Curiouser and curiouser. "What are you most fascinated by?"
Katriona takes in the other girl's reaction. "Do you not like firelizards? They're just like little dragons." The green firelizard circles her head and soars off towards the pools again. With a glance after it, the laundry girl corrects, "Little, playful, very stupid dragons. Do you... not like dragons, either?" To judge from the surprise and confusion in Kat's tone, the thing she's currently most fascinated by is /Ulyana/.
The explanation does little to reassure Ulyana. She keeps the creature somewhere in her peripheral vision until it flits off, leaving her - for the moment - free to properly address the questions. Even so, her response is significantly delayed and there's a tight working of her throat before the words come. "I do not dislike them," is her diplomatic reply. "They confuse me. I am not..." she falters, then tries again, with: "I have never dreamt about being around them. The first I encountered was the blue that Searched me. Before that, they were shadows in the windows - and I was rarely in a room with windows." She's hardly aware that she's folded her arms and is now gripping her upper arms hard enough to leave indents. "The flight here. The trip *between*. I did not much enjoy that."
"Oh, well... Between isn't supposed to be /comfortable/ or /pleasant/. But the flight? You didn't like being high up, just..." For a moment, Kat's expression goes oddly wistful. "Just /free/? No one able to tell you where you can or can't go?" Then she shakes it off. "Besides, there's no reason to be worried about the /firelizards/. They're tiny; you couldn't fly on them." If fear of heights -- or Between -- is really the issue.
In direct contrast to that wistfulness is an anxious furrowing of Ulyana's features. "No." Her flat answer is followed up with: "I was sick when we landed. I could not look down." Then comes the cocking of her head. "There was no freedom in it, either. We left Crom Hold to come here. There was a purpose to the act." Her shoulders rise and fall in a measured shrug and her attention is drawn back to the firelizard, even if it's nowhere nearby, really. "I do not trust them," she says, tone gone utterly deadpan. "They are small and unpredictable and prone to thievery."
"Oh." Katriona considers the mention of sickness, forehead furrowed. "Is it heights that bother you? Or just flying? I wonder if there have been riders before who had issues with flying, or heights. And I suppose it wasn't freedom /this/ time, but if you had a dragon of your /own/, you could go anywhere you wanted. No one could tell you that you had to stay in one place and just... farm the dirt, if you wanted to see somewhere else. To know what the rest of the world looked like."
Only when Katriona's done speaking does Ulyana shake her head in that singular, left-right-center way of hers. "My stomach is not strong. It does not take much to turn it into knots," she admits. "Perhaps that would be different if I were riding a dragon that chose me, but..." she has her doubts and dismisses them into the realm of childish fantasy. "I am certain someone must have Impressed that had trouble with heights or flying. I cannot imagine everyone on Pern is perfectly okay with being so high in the air with little more than straps to keep them safe." It's a sobering thought, to be sure. As to the rest, there's little for her to say, save for a dull, "Perhaps. But I am sure even they have rules about such things. They have their duties. It is not ultimate freedom."
"But if you're stuck in one place... a farm, for instance, and you have time free from chores, you have to find something to do /there/," Kat points out, her mood dampened by this thought. Memory? "If you have a dragon, and you have several hours free, and you want to lay on a Southern beach where it's not so /cold/ all the time? You can go do that and still come home for dinner!" She shakes her head, dropping the topic to focus on the other at hand. "You know, you could ask a rider if any of them have been afraid of heights. Oh! I almost forgot. You know how we were wondering before if distance mattered for Impression? I asked Goldrider Lilah about it."
"Being on a farm," Ulyana replies, "sounds far more fascinating than being in a room all the time. It cannot have been as bad as you suggest." This, however, sounds more curious than accusatory. Of course, as the topic is shed, so are any questions she might ask. Instead, the girl considers and finally concedes, "I will ask. That seems like a question they will answer." Again, her doubts are given voice in a subtle way; just a slight tweaking of the flatness into something else entirely. Then comes a pause, one that lingers, and then: "Did she answer your question? What did she say? She did not seem inclined to answer mine when I asked her about other things."
"Why were you always in a room? Was it the /same/ room?" Katriona asks curiously, unable to help herself. Then she focuses on what she had started to say. "Sometimes, if there's no Candidate on the sands that is right, a dragon has Impressed someone in the audience." Then she sobers. "And if there is no one near enough who's right for them, some hatchlings just... go Between."
"I was very sick," seems to be answer enough for Ulya. She moves on, relatively quick to latch onto the explanation. It takes her a few moments to fully parse and, when she does, it's followed up with a curious, "I wonder if that is noted in the records. I do not recall seeing that information - but I was not looking for it, either." A moment. Two. Then: "Did she see this happen before?" Another beat. "Have you ever seen a hatching?"
Mention of being simply 'very sick' doesn't entirely satisfy Kat -- indeed, it seems to whet her curiosity for some reason -- but she just offers a sympathetic, "Being sick for a long time is no fun." Then she shakes her head, the speed of speech ramping back up. "I haven't seen a hatching yet. But Goldrider Lilah said that she stood as a Candidate at three hatchings before Eliyaveith chose her, and so we will be able to keep trying if we want to, even if we don't Impress anyone. I didn't ask if /she'd/ seen it at any of those hatchings, but I think she had just heard it from other riders and seen it in the records."
"No, it is not," is pretty much a foregone conclusion, but Ulya offers it all the same. It's the last she says for some time - partly because Kat's talking and partly because the gears of her mind are just grinding along. Questioning starts anew, with a flat - but no less curious - "Will you continue to stand even if you do not Impress this time?" That seems to be the question of greatest value to her, offered alone and braced with significant lapses into silence on either side. After a moment, she adds, "I will ask her if I speak to her again. Perhaps she knows what records those notes are in." Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
"I will," Kat says, with a firm nod for emphasis. "I don't really have anywhere else to go, anyway. Even just staying here and working in the laundry is better. At least here, I can hear about other places even if I don't see them." A pause, and then Kat adds, "You won't, will you. You're planning to go home, if it doesn't work out."
"I see." Ulyana nods once, a slow up-down-center motion that terminates as abruptly as it begins. "I am glad you are happy here. I am curious to know more about your farm and your family, however." But this seems to be neither the time nor the place for it. At the last, there is another of those strange nods. "It is my plan, yes. Home is where I belong." Her mouth pulls to one side. "Or, to put it another way, where I belong is home. This," and a light tug is given to her makeshift Candidate's knot, "means this Weyr is home. For now."
"It could still be home, if you wanted it to. Even if you don't Impress this time," Kat points out. Then she clasps her hands behind her back, peering at Ulyana thoughtfully. "What would you do at Crom Hold if you went back?"
"Records. Ledgers. Inventories." As if there were anything else. Ulyana blinks once, slowly, then pivots on a heel to bend and gather up the satchel and other things nearby. "The work does not change, but-" Here, she hugs her belongings to her chest, just a little, "-the location does. This does not feel like home. I am not sure it could."
"Well. You just have to find a way to /make/ it feel like home," Katriona says, with a determined edge. "What do you like doing? And /don't/ say records and ledgers! You have to have other things you like; everyone does." She reaches out to Ulyana, as if to take the other girl's hand. "So... if you didn't have any records to work with, what would you go do?"
There's marked confusion about that extended hand. Ulyana fixates on the offered appendage and, grudgingly, shifts the bundle of things in her arms to rest at one hip. Her free hand hangs limp - it can be taken and it will prove to be cool, smooth, dry and with a peculiar sense of lifelessness. "No," she replies to the assertion. "Where I belong is home. This cannot be home unless I am supposed to be here." And, at least to her mind, she is - for now. The knot dictates all, apparently. The other question puzzles her even more deeply. "Reading is not a job," she finally says, her words coming slowly. "It can be, I suppose, but it is not a proper job." Her features screw up. "Sometimes I bake. Sometimes I sew. Mostly, I read." She lets that hang, then: "What do you do when you are not working with laundry?"
"Here, in the weyr?" Kat does indeed reach out to take Ulyana's hand, dragging her over towards one of the hot baths. It's warmer over this way! "Sometimes I study the records. Sometimes I try to meet people and learn more about them. Sometimes I just like to explore, to try to find the places people have forgotten, or don't go often. Places to be alone, places to take friends, places I wouldn't have found anywhere else."
Her fingers remain loose and still; like dead fish but with less clamminess. Ulyana keeps pace, but only just. Still, she's fairly captive and docile about being dragged about. And she listens, at least; that much is evident enough by the slight, periodic nod as Katriona explains. Still, the answer practically begs a follow-up question: "What do you do when you are not in the Weyr?" Her head half-turns, catching the other former-Candidate in the corner of her vision. As an off-hand aside, she adds, "There are a lot of places to be alone - even in the places where there are a lot of people."
"I didn't do anything interesting before coming to the weyr," Kat says, with a mixture of finality and... regret? "That's why I'm not going to leave; that's why I'm going to stay here, even if I don't Impress. Even if all I do is stay here in the laundry, at least I'm doing /something/."
"So, you did nothing at all before coming to the Weyr?" That seems bewildering to Ulyana, though one would have to dig a little into her tone to gather as much. "That seems peculiar." She considers Kat for a long moment, only to say, "Then this is home for you. You belong here. It serves a purpose for you - and you serve a purpose for it." Easy enough, that. She shifts the weight of her bundle and, after a moment, finally leans over to deposit the pile on a nearby bench, while leaving her hand in the other girl's own. "Although. If you did nothing, they would not keep you here. You have to do -something-, regardless - and anything you do is something."
"I will," Kat replies with a smile. "Even if it's the laundry, or kitchens, or something like that. For now... just enjoy the warmth." She lets go of Ulyana's hand, and spins around once. "It's so /relaxing/ here!" Apparently, the firelizard from earlier agrees; it peeks down from a ledge overhead, letting out a squeaking noise to the girls below.
Relaxing doesn't seem to be on Ulyana's agenda, in the end. With her hand free, the girl is able to take a step back and promptly pick up the bundle she'd put down mere seconds ago. "I suppose it is," but it's not for her, as it turns out. The squeaking of the firelizard and the inspired spin of her companion both seem to conspire to seal the deal. "I need to go. Take care of yourself. I am sure we will talk again later. Enjoy your time here." And, with that said, she turns on a heel and heads for the entrance of the cavern.
Summary: Ulyana chats with Katriona. Histories are discussed and a firelizard is eyed dubiously.
Characters: Katriona, Ulyana
Location: Hot Springs, Fort Weyr
Time: Day 5, month 8, turn 35 of Interval 10
RL Date: 08/21/2014
It's a bit later in the evening and, while most residents aren't on-duty, one seems to have volunteered herself to keep working. Ulyana is near the entrance of the cavern, carefully scrutinizing the contents of the shelves and benches. She's keeping a dutiful tally of items all the while, despite the occasional sort who passes by and snatches up this pot or that towel while on their way to the pools. Indeed, it's getting increasingly more busy - prime time for bathing and a poor time for taking inventory. Those acquisitions by others are marked off the list in some manner, and so the seemingly never-ending task continues.
Katriona, meanwhile, has seated on the edge of one of the hot springs, watching a green firelizard who has been cavorting in the steam. Her arm looks to be freshly bandaged; a pot of numbweed and a set of soiled bandages are piled next to her, waiting to be discarded. When she gets to her feet and moves to depart, she carefully gathers these up. Her path out, however, takes her right past Ulyana and the shelves. "Hey!" she offers brightly, in greeting to the other girl.
A final note is made before Ulyana seems to acknowledge the greeting. Her head lifts and she half-turns to face Katriona with a slow, impassive blink. "Hello," she replies and starts to fold the hides neatly together. Her inscrutable gaze does a quick, singular sweep and, when her eyes return to fix on Kat's face, there's a fine crease between her brows. She leaps right past the predictable 'how do you do's and directly to: "What happened to your arm?" She steps a little to one side, closing a little of the distance between them to permit a few more people to pass by, unimpeded.
Katriona glances down at the bandage. "Someone tripped, down in the laundry," she offers matter-of-factly. "They were carrying a pot of boiling water; it spilled on me and burned my arm. It was all red and blistered, but it's getting better now. I have to keep the bandages changed, though." She looks over the shelves, and then back to Ulyana. "What're you doing? This the chore you have today, or just more research of your own?"
Ulyana grants a slow, left-right-center shake of her head. "They should have been more careful," she observes. "It could have been much more serious than a burn to the arm." Something about that possibility unnerves the girl in an obvious way; a shiver trips down her spine and she continues, "I am glad that it was not worse. How long will it take to heal? Do they know?" Her work ends up stuffed in a nearby satchel - a satchel perched atop a towel, a change of clothes, and a pair of sandals. "I was sent to take inventory earlier," she explains after a long moment. "But I was curious to see how many towels and pots of sand were used throughout the day." Another slow blink ensues. "It is not as much as I anticipated. Perhaps more people bathe in the morning than I thought."
"Goldrider Lilah tended to it; she says it will take a while to heal, but it could have been a lot worse. But for now I have to stay on cold water duty or mending. But there's not as much mending right now, so I may go see if I can help with something else while it heals." Kat cuts off the rush of words as the other ex-Candidate's shiver sinks in; she favors Ulyana with that sparrow-like curious headtilt. It's one of the only signs of actual /emotion/ she's seen from the other girl before. "Is something wrong?"
"I am sure she did a good job." It's a reasonable presumption on Ulya's part, at any rate. Her gaze dips to briefly skim the bandaging, but it's quick to lift and settle on something - anything - else. "There is always something to do. Perhaps you can assist with records," because, of course, that's the only thing that comes immediately to her mind. That thought is slow to end but it does, trailing into the ether some moments after Kat tilts her head. Ulyana's headtilt is a mirror of it, mechanical more than avian. "It is nothing wrong. Just a memory." One shoulder rises and falls in a lopsided shrug. "One of the children I knew at Crom Hold was causing trouble in the kitchens once. It-" she hesitates here, jaw tightening just a touch "-did not end well."
"Oh... I'm sorry. Were you hurt? Or did you work in the kitchen there? Or something else?" Katriona's questions pick up speed once again, and then she cuts off, offering a self-conscious grin. "Sorry. It just seems like everyone else has had interesting lives, so I want to learn things. And questions are sometimes the best way to do that."
"I was sick." Ulyana's mouth twists to one side - then it settles into a cool, neutral line. "I only knew of what happened because he was taken to the infirmary when I was there." A beat. "They could not save his sight." The cessation of questions is met, curiously, with a knitting of her brows. "There is no need to apologize for asking questions," she notes. "That is why I ask them. If you do not ask, you will not know the answers." Here, there's another tilting of her head in that strange, calculated way. "I do not mind answering them, even if other people seem to." It's another second or two before: "I am sure your life is more interesting. What have you enjoyed learning about the most?"
"Mine wasn't that interesting. Dirt poor family..." Katriona shrugs dismissively, before considering Ulyana's question more thoughtfully. "Seeing all the different people coming here. Here we have people from holds, from halls, who grew up in the weyr... and there's the dragons, the people, and..." She ducks pre-emptively, as the green firelizard she was watching over the pools darts playfully over her head. "...well, lots of things."
"You have a family." Ulyana tips her head up just a touch. "That is more interesting than you seem to think." The arrival of the firelizard earns a reflexive recoil and a renewed tightening of her jaw before her typical indifference claims her posture and manner. Her attention remains firmly on Katriona, though there's an edge of wariness to her with the creature passing relatively nearby. "What sorts of stories have you heard?" Curiouser and curiouser. "What are you most fascinated by?"
Katriona takes in the other girl's reaction. "Do you not like firelizards? They're just like little dragons." The green firelizard circles her head and soars off towards the pools again. With a glance after it, the laundry girl corrects, "Little, playful, very stupid dragons. Do you... not like dragons, either?" To judge from the surprise and confusion in Kat's tone, the thing she's currently most fascinated by is /Ulyana/.
The explanation does little to reassure Ulyana. She keeps the creature somewhere in her peripheral vision until it flits off, leaving her - for the moment - free to properly address the questions. Even so, her response is significantly delayed and there's a tight working of her throat before the words come. "I do not dislike them," is her diplomatic reply. "They confuse me. I am not..." she falters, then tries again, with: "I have never dreamt about being around them. The first I encountered was the blue that Searched me. Before that, they were shadows in the windows - and I was rarely in a room with windows." She's hardly aware that she's folded her arms and is now gripping her upper arms hard enough to leave indents. "The flight here. The trip *between*. I did not much enjoy that."
"Oh, well... Between isn't supposed to be /comfortable/ or /pleasant/. But the flight? You didn't like being high up, just..." For a moment, Kat's expression goes oddly wistful. "Just /free/? No one able to tell you where you can or can't go?" Then she shakes it off. "Besides, there's no reason to be worried about the /firelizards/. They're tiny; you couldn't fly on them." If fear of heights -- or Between -- is really the issue.
In direct contrast to that wistfulness is an anxious furrowing of Ulyana's features. "No." Her flat answer is followed up with: "I was sick when we landed. I could not look down." Then comes the cocking of her head. "There was no freedom in it, either. We left Crom Hold to come here. There was a purpose to the act." Her shoulders rise and fall in a measured shrug and her attention is drawn back to the firelizard, even if it's nowhere nearby, really. "I do not trust them," she says, tone gone utterly deadpan. "They are small and unpredictable and prone to thievery."
"Oh." Katriona considers the mention of sickness, forehead furrowed. "Is it heights that bother you? Or just flying? I wonder if there have been riders before who had issues with flying, or heights. And I suppose it wasn't freedom /this/ time, but if you had a dragon of your /own/, you could go anywhere you wanted. No one could tell you that you had to stay in one place and just... farm the dirt, if you wanted to see somewhere else. To know what the rest of the world looked like."
Only when Katriona's done speaking does Ulyana shake her head in that singular, left-right-center way of hers. "My stomach is not strong. It does not take much to turn it into knots," she admits. "Perhaps that would be different if I were riding a dragon that chose me, but..." she has her doubts and dismisses them into the realm of childish fantasy. "I am certain someone must have Impressed that had trouble with heights or flying. I cannot imagine everyone on Pern is perfectly okay with being so high in the air with little more than straps to keep them safe." It's a sobering thought, to be sure. As to the rest, there's little for her to say, save for a dull, "Perhaps. But I am sure even they have rules about such things. They have their duties. It is not ultimate freedom."
"But if you're stuck in one place... a farm, for instance, and you have time free from chores, you have to find something to do /there/," Kat points out, her mood dampened by this thought. Memory? "If you have a dragon, and you have several hours free, and you want to lay on a Southern beach where it's not so /cold/ all the time? You can go do that and still come home for dinner!" She shakes her head, dropping the topic to focus on the other at hand. "You know, you could ask a rider if any of them have been afraid of heights. Oh! I almost forgot. You know how we were wondering before if distance mattered for Impression? I asked Goldrider Lilah about it."
"Being on a farm," Ulyana replies, "sounds far more fascinating than being in a room all the time. It cannot have been as bad as you suggest." This, however, sounds more curious than accusatory. Of course, as the topic is shed, so are any questions she might ask. Instead, the girl considers and finally concedes, "I will ask. That seems like a question they will answer." Again, her doubts are given voice in a subtle way; just a slight tweaking of the flatness into something else entirely. Then comes a pause, one that lingers, and then: "Did she answer your question? What did she say? She did not seem inclined to answer mine when I asked her about other things."
"Why were you always in a room? Was it the /same/ room?" Katriona asks curiously, unable to help herself. Then she focuses on what she had started to say. "Sometimes, if there's no Candidate on the sands that is right, a dragon has Impressed someone in the audience." Then she sobers. "And if there is no one near enough who's right for them, some hatchlings just... go Between."
"I was very sick," seems to be answer enough for Ulya. She moves on, relatively quick to latch onto the explanation. It takes her a few moments to fully parse and, when she does, it's followed up with a curious, "I wonder if that is noted in the records. I do not recall seeing that information - but I was not looking for it, either." A moment. Two. Then: "Did she see this happen before?" Another beat. "Have you ever seen a hatching?"
Mention of being simply 'very sick' doesn't entirely satisfy Kat -- indeed, it seems to whet her curiosity for some reason -- but she just offers a sympathetic, "Being sick for a long time is no fun." Then she shakes her head, the speed of speech ramping back up. "I haven't seen a hatching yet. But Goldrider Lilah said that she stood as a Candidate at three hatchings before Eliyaveith chose her, and so we will be able to keep trying if we want to, even if we don't Impress anyone. I didn't ask if /she'd/ seen it at any of those hatchings, but I think she had just heard it from other riders and seen it in the records."
"No, it is not," is pretty much a foregone conclusion, but Ulya offers it all the same. It's the last she says for some time - partly because Kat's talking and partly because the gears of her mind are just grinding along. Questioning starts anew, with a flat - but no less curious - "Will you continue to stand even if you do not Impress this time?" That seems to be the question of greatest value to her, offered alone and braced with significant lapses into silence on either side. After a moment, she adds, "I will ask her if I speak to her again. Perhaps she knows what records those notes are in." Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
"I will," Kat says, with a firm nod for emphasis. "I don't really have anywhere else to go, anyway. Even just staying here and working in the laundry is better. At least here, I can hear about other places even if I don't see them." A pause, and then Kat adds, "You won't, will you. You're planning to go home, if it doesn't work out."
"I see." Ulyana nods once, a slow up-down-center motion that terminates as abruptly as it begins. "I am glad you are happy here. I am curious to know more about your farm and your family, however." But this seems to be neither the time nor the place for it. At the last, there is another of those strange nods. "It is my plan, yes. Home is where I belong." Her mouth pulls to one side. "Or, to put it another way, where I belong is home. This," and a light tug is given to her makeshift Candidate's knot, "means this Weyr is home. For now."
"It could still be home, if you wanted it to. Even if you don't Impress this time," Kat points out. Then she clasps her hands behind her back, peering at Ulyana thoughtfully. "What would you do at Crom Hold if you went back?"
"Records. Ledgers. Inventories." As if there were anything else. Ulyana blinks once, slowly, then pivots on a heel to bend and gather up the satchel and other things nearby. "The work does not change, but-" Here, she hugs her belongings to her chest, just a little, "-the location does. This does not feel like home. I am not sure it could."
"Well. You just have to find a way to /make/ it feel like home," Katriona says, with a determined edge. "What do you like doing? And /don't/ say records and ledgers! You have to have other things you like; everyone does." She reaches out to Ulyana, as if to take the other girl's hand. "So... if you didn't have any records to work with, what would you go do?"
There's marked confusion about that extended hand. Ulyana fixates on the offered appendage and, grudgingly, shifts the bundle of things in her arms to rest at one hip. Her free hand hangs limp - it can be taken and it will prove to be cool, smooth, dry and with a peculiar sense of lifelessness. "No," she replies to the assertion. "Where I belong is home. This cannot be home unless I am supposed to be here." And, at least to her mind, she is - for now. The knot dictates all, apparently. The other question puzzles her even more deeply. "Reading is not a job," she finally says, her words coming slowly. "It can be, I suppose, but it is not a proper job." Her features screw up. "Sometimes I bake. Sometimes I sew. Mostly, I read." She lets that hang, then: "What do you do when you are not working with laundry?"
"Here, in the weyr?" Kat does indeed reach out to take Ulyana's hand, dragging her over towards one of the hot baths. It's warmer over this way! "Sometimes I study the records. Sometimes I try to meet people and learn more about them. Sometimes I just like to explore, to try to find the places people have forgotten, or don't go often. Places to be alone, places to take friends, places I wouldn't have found anywhere else."
Her fingers remain loose and still; like dead fish but with less clamminess. Ulyana keeps pace, but only just. Still, she's fairly captive and docile about being dragged about. And she listens, at least; that much is evident enough by the slight, periodic nod as Katriona explains. Still, the answer practically begs a follow-up question: "What do you do when you are not in the Weyr?" Her head half-turns, catching the other former-Candidate in the corner of her vision. As an off-hand aside, she adds, "There are a lot of places to be alone - even in the places where there are a lot of people."
"I didn't do anything interesting before coming to the weyr," Kat says, with a mixture of finality and... regret? "That's why I'm not going to leave; that's why I'm going to stay here, even if I don't Impress. Even if all I do is stay here in the laundry, at least I'm doing /something/."
"So, you did nothing at all before coming to the Weyr?" That seems bewildering to Ulyana, though one would have to dig a little into her tone to gather as much. "That seems peculiar." She considers Kat for a long moment, only to say, "Then this is home for you. You belong here. It serves a purpose for you - and you serve a purpose for it." Easy enough, that. She shifts the weight of her bundle and, after a moment, finally leans over to deposit the pile on a nearby bench, while leaving her hand in the other girl's own. "Although. If you did nothing, they would not keep you here. You have to do -something-, regardless - and anything you do is something."
"I will," Kat replies with a smile. "Even if it's the laundry, or kitchens, or something like that. For now... just enjoy the warmth." She lets go of Ulyana's hand, and spins around once. "It's so /relaxing/ here!" Apparently, the firelizard from earlier agrees; it peeks down from a ledge overhead, letting out a squeaking noise to the girls below.
Relaxing doesn't seem to be on Ulyana's agenda, in the end. With her hand free, the girl is able to take a step back and promptly pick up the bundle she'd put down mere seconds ago. "I suppose it is," but it's not for her, as it turns out. The squeaking of the firelizard and the inspired spin of her companion both seem to conspire to seal the deal. "I need to go. Take care of yourself. I am sure we will talk again later. Enjoy your time here." And, with that said, she turns on a heel and heads for the entrance of the cavern.