"...and you fall away from your past..."
In a sentence, life is good.
In a few more sentences, life isn't perfect, but it works. In a weird way, I haven't come to grips with the fact that this life is not temporary, that the way I've been living for the past month is not simply a break from routine, but my new lifestyle. Dreyfoos isn't home anymore. I speak of City Place with a touch of nostalgia and am weirdly saddened when I meet people who have no idea where West Palm Beach is. I wear my Forensics sweatshirt around the dorm. The questions about if I work with dead bodies have finally started to subside.
The roommates are interesting. One is quiet, reserved, the kind of girl who rolls her eyes and gets that "what the hell is going on??" look if you say or do anything out of the realm of "normal." The other is certifiably insane. Personally, I find it amusing. "Normal" roomie invited her boyfriend over one night, and the "weird" one felt like changing into fishnets and heels and, I don't know, some odd combination of clothing for no real reason, so instead of hauling down to the bathroom, she whips off her clothes right there, on the spot (yeah she had underwear on, but still) and the "Normal" one smacks the boyfriend, covers his eyes, and shoots me a look, like I should be controlling the weird one.
Yeah, okay.
Because I'm completely normal.
Anyway. Friendship is a weird front. Do I see my friends from Dreyfoos? Yeah. Do I hang out with them? In the beginning, a lot. Now, not as often. I keep in touch with, or try to keep in touch with, those who are important to me. It's been a month, and yet, I know I'm changing. I'm around new people. People who don't know who I was in high school, what I did, who I dated, who I hung out with...my general reputation. I'm starting over. I've spent various nights out with various groups of people and, while I haven't found "my" group yet, it's been refreshing. I don't want to change who I am, yet I'm interested in finding out what I'll become now that I'm away from the mold I'd cast for myself from the 6th grade through graduation.
My major is something of an experiment. I have a lot of passion and ambition, but sometimes it's a chore separating one from the other, especially considering that ambition itself is one of my passions. I need to though, in order to find some balance and direction. So many people know where they're going four years from now and where they want to be when they're forty. For me, it's all about the moment. At least for now.
And maybe that's okay.
Life is good.
In a few more sentences, life isn't perfect, but it works. In a weird way, I haven't come to grips with the fact that this life is not temporary, that the way I've been living for the past month is not simply a break from routine, but my new lifestyle. Dreyfoos isn't home anymore. I speak of City Place with a touch of nostalgia and am weirdly saddened when I meet people who have no idea where West Palm Beach is. I wear my Forensics sweatshirt around the dorm. The questions about if I work with dead bodies have finally started to subside.
The roommates are interesting. One is quiet, reserved, the kind of girl who rolls her eyes and gets that "what the hell is going on??" look if you say or do anything out of the realm of "normal." The other is certifiably insane. Personally, I find it amusing. "Normal" roomie invited her boyfriend over one night, and the "weird" one felt like changing into fishnets and heels and, I don't know, some odd combination of clothing for no real reason, so instead of hauling down to the bathroom, she whips off her clothes right there, on the spot (yeah she had underwear on, but still) and the "Normal" one smacks the boyfriend, covers his eyes, and shoots me a look, like I should be controlling the weird one.
Yeah, okay.
Because I'm completely normal.
Anyway. Friendship is a weird front. Do I see my friends from Dreyfoos? Yeah. Do I hang out with them? In the beginning, a lot. Now, not as often. I keep in touch with, or try to keep in touch with, those who are important to me. It's been a month, and yet, I know I'm changing. I'm around new people. People who don't know who I was in high school, what I did, who I dated, who I hung out with...my general reputation. I'm starting over. I've spent various nights out with various groups of people and, while I haven't found "my" group yet, it's been refreshing. I don't want to change who I am, yet I'm interested in finding out what I'll become now that I'm away from the mold I'd cast for myself from the 6th grade through graduation.
My major is something of an experiment. I have a lot of passion and ambition, but sometimes it's a chore separating one from the other, especially considering that ambition itself is one of my passions. I need to though, in order to find some balance and direction. So many people know where they're going four years from now and where they want to be when they're forty. For me, it's all about the moment. At least for now.
And maybe that's okay.
Life is good.