hey all :)
Welp - things with Taylor are pretty much done and over with. He ended up breaking my heart just like Lindsay told me he would... he spent the entire rest of his break never calling me (like he promised he would) and hanging out with his ex-girlfriend who i am for sure he's prolly back together with now. and he's just going to forget me like some kind of bad dream or something. the bastard. haha - i'm a little bitter - but honestly, i'm dealing just fine. just a little angry with myself for letting my damned gaurds down when i had people warning me about him left and right. but goodness, the kid sure knew a way with words. i even tried to break things off completely with him like a week ago, and he flipped out on me. he got pissed and was like "I didn't know you wanted me out of your life completely" so i thought, wow - maybe this kid really DOES wanna be with me. but noooo - he got a hotel room with a bunch of his buddies for new years eve and guess he took along with him? sure as hell wasn't me! it was his EX, Rita. so when my roommate came to visit, i gave her his sweatshirts to give to him and i haven't really talked to him since. we have had little convos here and there - i called him when OSU won the championships cause thats where he goes, and there have been a few conversations online every now and then - but nothing like it used to be. seriously, he just completely changed out of no where and now i think i'm just better off without the character. who needs someone who sees you as back up when his other ex won't work out? cause i know thats how taylor sees me. i don't need games like that - i can and will do better. :o)
speaking of doing better - there IS this kid named Travis from school. he's a theatre major and i met him while i was working backstage for a play at the beginning of the year. after I had a serious crush on him while the play was going on cause he was so funny and sweet and REALLY damned talented. he said he chickened out like 15 times from asking me on a date cause at the time i was talking to a few people, but he didn't know that none of them were serious. of course the day that Taylor and i become a "couple", travis openly confesses all these feelings he has for me, but i turned him down - even though a big part of me was very attracted to him. i wanted things to work with taylor and i. well - when things started going to shit over break with my "relationship", i called travis one night, cause i knew it would piss taylor off (haha). but to my surprise, travis and i talked for like, 2 or 3 hours. we had so much in common it was scary. i didn't call him again cause i knew i would develop serious feelings for him, and at the time all i wanted to think about was fixing things between taylor and i. well - taylor ended up being a dick, so i called travis in tears telling him how taylor broke up with me and all this stuff (or "take a break", whatever.) travis sat and listened to me and everything and was very sweet about everything. a few days later travis asked if it would be alright to take me out to dinner when we get back to school :o) now, travis also has an evil ex who is still a big part of his life, so i'm keeping my distance in that sense. i will not make the same mistake i made with taylor. its just - travis and i have so much in common! he even admits to liking disney movies :o) the day i get back from choir tour (the 12th) we have a date to just pop in a disney movie and take a nap with eachother :o) i dunno, he's just a lot of things that taylor wasn't. taylor had his times of being very shallow and petty. he was very obviously a rich little brat sometimes, and it would bother the hell out of me. he would even tell me things like "Britta, of course you're attractive, do you think i would ever date someone who wasn't?" and be ENTIRELY SERIOUS about it. we just, didn't fit in a lot of ways. and my roommate brought up a good point while she was visiting, she was like "You two really did like eachother i believe, but you were trying to hard to change yourselves to fit the other person." and as much as i didn't want to hear that, it was very true.
so yeah, i'm just going to go on this date with travis - see if things click in person as well as they do over the phone, and just take things day by day. i don't really even think i'm ready for another big commitment right now, i'm still kind of hurting from the last one. but time heals everything :o) and soon enough taylor with be nothing but a bad memory to me, and i'll be able to just move right along. stupid boys.
speaking of doing better - there IS this kid named Travis from school. he's a theatre major and i met him while i was working backstage for a play at the beginning of the year. after I had a serious crush on him while the play was going on cause he was so funny and sweet and REALLY damned talented. he said he chickened out like 15 times from asking me on a date cause at the time i was talking to a few people, but he didn't know that none of them were serious. of course the day that Taylor and i become a "couple", travis openly confesses all these feelings he has for me, but i turned him down - even though a big part of me was very attracted to him. i wanted things to work with taylor and i. well - when things started going to shit over break with my "relationship", i called travis one night, cause i knew it would piss taylor off (haha). but to my surprise, travis and i talked for like, 2 or 3 hours. we had so much in common it was scary. i didn't call him again cause i knew i would develop serious feelings for him, and at the time all i wanted to think about was fixing things between taylor and i. well - taylor ended up being a dick, so i called travis in tears telling him how taylor broke up with me and all this stuff (or "take a break", whatever.) travis sat and listened to me and everything and was very sweet about everything. a few days later travis asked if it would be alright to take me out to dinner when we get back to school :o) now, travis also has an evil ex who is still a big part of his life, so i'm keeping my distance in that sense. i will not make the same mistake i made with taylor. its just - travis and i have so much in common! he even admits to liking disney movies :o) the day i get back from choir tour (the 12th) we have a date to just pop in a disney movie and take a nap with eachother :o) i dunno, he's just a lot of things that taylor wasn't. taylor had his times of being very shallow and petty. he was very obviously a rich little brat sometimes, and it would bother the hell out of me. he would even tell me things like "Britta, of course you're attractive, do you think i would ever date someone who wasn't?" and be ENTIRELY SERIOUS about it. we just, didn't fit in a lot of ways. and my roommate brought up a good point while she was visiting, she was like "You two really did like eachother i believe, but you were trying to hard to change yourselves to fit the other person." and as much as i didn't want to hear that, it was very true.
so yeah, i'm just going to go on this date with travis - see if things click in person as well as they do over the phone, and just take things day by day. i don't really even think i'm ready for another big commitment right now, i'm still kind of hurting from the last one. but time heals everything :o) and soon enough taylor with be nothing but a bad memory to me, and i'll be able to just move right along. stupid boys.