15 years
Today, March 23rd, marks my 15 year anniversary of being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. It's hard to imagine that it's already been 15 years. I remember marking 5 and 10 years, believing with all my heart that 15 would never be reached. I honestly thought there would be a cure by now. But, there isn't. We are extremely close, but thanks to our current administration, we cannot move closer to that point. Having diabetes has become part of my life, of my identity. It has shaped me into the person that I am today. But it pains me to think that each and every day more children are being diagnosed with this lifelong and exhausting disease. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of the pricks, the tubes, the appointments, the medications, the constant worry. I, as a 19 year old college student, should not have to be worrying about my future every night before I fall asleep.
The last time I was at my doctor's office, I was passed along to a new intern or resident, like I always am. I've seen so many of these new doctors in my 10 years at Mass General, and I am always reminded that I know so much more about this disease than they do. Yes, they've read the literature, taken tests, memorized the systems, but have they been up at 2 in the morning barely able to breathe or see because of low blood sugars? Have they felt the panic of a pump malfunction? No. The problem with these doctors is they haven't experienced the pain of disease.
However, they do their best, and I appreciate that. This new doctor that I saw asked me routine questions: age of diagnosis, type of insulin used, etc. When I answered her first question, I saw her doing a quick math calculation in her head and then she looked at me. I've never seen this look before. She asked me, you're 19 right? And I nodded. So you've had diabetes for about 15 years then? And I nodded again, yes, I guess it has been 15 years. She then tucked my massive file onto a shelf, crossed her legs, and gripped her hands together. Then it came. The complications disscusion. Now, as a basically life-long diabetic, I realize the risk of complications. I know the statistics, the warning signs. But I didn't realize they were this close. Apparently, as she explained, actual complications start to show up in type 1s after about 15 years. Now, I routinely must be tested for proteins that would indicate kidney failure, antibodies that show heart problems, and my eyes must be monitored closely. I've never felt so sick leaving a doctor's appointment in my life. For god's sake, I'm 19. I regularly joke about my body attacking itself, as other health problems have arisen during my 15 years, but I never understood the reality of this statement. My body is literally shutting down. And there's nothing I can do. Okay, so that's a little prematurely morbid. I probably have a good 60 years left in me, thanks to the medical advancements that have been made. But it's all scary as hell.
And sadly, I'm not alone. There are approximately 3 million people in the United States that are affected, most of which are children. Every day, 35 children are diagnosed, leaving them to a life full of constant vigilance, needles and doctors. So please, this is my biannual plea: do something. donate money or your time. walk for a cure. join a campaign to promote awareness and to lobby for more government support.
please visit http://www.jdrf.org for more information.
The last time I was at my doctor's office, I was passed along to a new intern or resident, like I always am. I've seen so many of these new doctors in my 10 years at Mass General, and I am always reminded that I know so much more about this disease than they do. Yes, they've read the literature, taken tests, memorized the systems, but have they been up at 2 in the morning barely able to breathe or see because of low blood sugars? Have they felt the panic of a pump malfunction? No. The problem with these doctors is they haven't experienced the pain of disease.
However, they do their best, and I appreciate that. This new doctor that I saw asked me routine questions: age of diagnosis, type of insulin used, etc. When I answered her first question, I saw her doing a quick math calculation in her head and then she looked at me. I've never seen this look before. She asked me, you're 19 right? And I nodded. So you've had diabetes for about 15 years then? And I nodded again, yes, I guess it has been 15 years. She then tucked my massive file onto a shelf, crossed her legs, and gripped her hands together. Then it came. The complications disscusion. Now, as a basically life-long diabetic, I realize the risk of complications. I know the statistics, the warning signs. But I didn't realize they were this close. Apparently, as she explained, actual complications start to show up in type 1s after about 15 years. Now, I routinely must be tested for proteins that would indicate kidney failure, antibodies that show heart problems, and my eyes must be monitored closely. I've never felt so sick leaving a doctor's appointment in my life. For god's sake, I'm 19. I regularly joke about my body attacking itself, as other health problems have arisen during my 15 years, but I never understood the reality of this statement. My body is literally shutting down. And there's nothing I can do. Okay, so that's a little prematurely morbid. I probably have a good 60 years left in me, thanks to the medical advancements that have been made. But it's all scary as hell.
And sadly, I'm not alone. There are approximately 3 million people in the United States that are affected, most of which are children. Every day, 35 children are diagnosed, leaving them to a life full of constant vigilance, needles and doctors. So please, this is my biannual plea: do something. donate money or your time. walk for a cure. join a campaign to promote awareness and to lobby for more government support.
please visit http://www.jdrf.org for more information.