I Am Hunting For my VISA Card Right NOW!
Oh, Sirius Satellite Radio. Your latest adverts just make me tingle with desire for you. You promise I'll be able to listen to NASCAR and NFL Football, Howard Stern, Martha Stewart AND Bruce Springsteen's E Street Station without commercials!
Oh, my goodness, hold me back.
And here I thought satellite radio was supposed to be a possible alternative ( Read more... )
Oh, my goodness, hold me back.
And here I thought satellite radio was supposed to be a possible alternative ( Read more... )
Another option (not likely to succeed) is to try to appeal the decision. I talked more with my prof pal and asked if he thought it was worth trying, given the realistic likelihood that it will fail, and he said it couldn't hurt, and, with only one more class and review to get through, I should persevere.
Other plans percolating: talk to dept head and get clear guidelines about what they didn't like and use the summer to develop a kick-ass project, take review in fall, and THEN, if I don't pass it, throw in the towel and accept the MA.
Part of the problem is that the standards have radically changed, and I only know one person who passed the 45 on the first try, and several who failed both who are excellent at what they do. Maybe I am lacking self-confidence or faith in myself, but I don't know if I am as good as they are. I am good at what I DO, but maybe what I do isn't MFA quality according to SCAD. Irritatingly, I suspect that if I chose Illustration, Art History, or even Painting, I would have been out and off working already. That stuff comes easily, it lacks challenge. Because they bundle my degree track with Game Dev, though, and Game Dev is NOT what I want to do, a lot of time has been wasted learning stuff related specifically to game dev, not interactive design. It is not my strength. They have been promising to split the tracks since before I applied, but have not done so. The new dean is Game Dev. The old dean was Int Des, with a strong emphasis on programming.
It is just a mess.
I need to talk to some folks who can help sort it all out. I can only be so detached, obviously. I'm disappointed and my confidence has been dealt a hard blow.
I need to suss out what the smartest decision is, not just the easiest. My gut instinct is to flee back to Atlanta to lick my wounds and recover my self-confidence. Even then, it would sting to not accomplish my goal, that MFA. On the whole, I have exceeded my own expectations, given that I started knowing next to nothing in this field. I knew it would be difficult. I'm not sure what to compare the situation to. My skill-set is creative and non-technical. My degree track is very technical and often software and program changes keep negating most of what I just learned. I do everything on my own, very rarely reaching out for other student or professor help. I won't have them around when I start working, after all. And I usually get A's.
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I am one review and one class away from getting that MFA. My current plan is to inquire about appealing, finish the two classes I am taking this quarter, and prepare for a retake of the review in the fall. If I don't pass that review, I'm not going to fight any longer. This would not change my departure timeline. If I pass, most of the thesis work will be done at that point, and I can leave in March.
The CoS analogy is flawed, because I am actually getting something for my money and am not being urged to do anything harmful to my mind or body, or to disconnect from friends and family who disagree with me.
Technically, if most of my thesis work is done, and all I need to do is write my findings up and present my interactive concept, I could do that in Atlanta at the Atlanta branch of SCAD. I'd p[refer to present my work to my peers and professors who are familiar with it, but it isn't required.
This summer, I have a lot of personal stuff to do, like see doctors I have had no time to see, CoS protests, thesis prep, packing and selling (looking for an eBay sale facilitation biz down here), perhaps finding some part-time work to sock some more bucks into my account, and looking into finding a place to live and companies / jobs I'd like in Atlanta.
I'm disappointed right now, and a little frustrated, but I tend to try to determine if I will have regrets about decisions I made. I might regret being impatient and stopping one review and one class short of getting an MFA.
If I took the review several quarters back, I might be less willing to plug on, given that I saved electives and internships for last.
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If you fail your preliminary, you don't get into the MA / MFA track at all. You don't have to take classes to retake the prelim.
If you get into the MA / MFA program, you next must pass a 15 hour review. The 15 determines fitness for an MFA. If you fail, you can opt for an MA. Again, MFAs require more classes, so failing deprives the school of tuition fees if the student fails.
The last hurdle for MFAs includes classes (Thesis I and Thesis II and Portfolio) and the 45. You can take the 45 after Thesis I (I don't think II or Portfolio are required to take the 45, though II might be). Again, if a student fails, they have the option to persevere (which would require taking more classes) or settle for an MA.
Failing students is thus a bad ploy for getting more tuition, esp. as reviews are not "paid for" like classes.
Whereas it is far less likely to fail a prelim, as they tend to be held shortly after you are accept for grad school in the first place (which requires a portfolio review and pre-req classes (if needed)), it is VERY common to fail a 15. Again, not a good ploy for boosting tuition, as people tend to choose to opt out or transfer almost as often as they choose to continue on.
SCAD is one of the hardest arts schools out there, and my theory is that they are weeding out the less gifted and determined students so they can compete with similar challenging arts schools. SCAD is also trying to expand into other cities. To be considered one of the best schools in the country (and, lately, the world), you must have students who produce superior work.
It is already challenging to produce professional-quality projects (typically three to five MAJOR projects) in ten weeks with a mere five hours of class per week per class. Typically you spend 20-30 hours on homework and class time per class per week. Compare this to work you do at other jobs, where you are responsible for part of an ongoing project, or have a lot of small tasks to complete on a regular basis. Group projects are very rare at SCAD. Students opt to work together, but it is not common for classes (in my dep't, anyway) to bundle us up on the grad level.
You are on your own to complete 3-5 professional-quality projects while also learning HOW to do it. A job is not as hard (task-wise), but there is a lot less nonsense like "office politics" because everyone is so damn busy all the time with their own work. As should be, frankly. ("Office politics" are typically a sign that someone isn't being challenged or isn't doing his or her job, because if you were doing what your company paid you to do, as you should, you would not have time to worry about what Susie Secretary or Bob Boss were up to, or Connie Cubedweller's bad habits. Folks who DO work and either enjoy their work or get fulfillment from performing well are far more annoyed by office politics, because they interrupt them.)
If they wanted more tuition, a more effective way to go about this would be to increase the core requirements and pre-reqs necessary to enter the program and to complete it...and, unsurprisingly, this is exactly what they are doing. THAT is how to grub money effectively. I only had one or two pre-reqs (eight or more are not unusual) and squeaked into the 2003-2004 req track by applying late in the academic year. That's another reason to persevere: if I bail, then decide I want to get my MFA later because I regret not doing it now, it won't just be one review and one class left to take, it will be all the classes required by the new academic year's core req track, classes that have been outdated by software changes, and so on.
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Also, by choosing to stay when you have the ability to leave, you also relinquish a certain portion of your bitching rights. If you decide that staying is the best thing to do, go for it, but in the words of Bugs Bunny "Just remembahhh . . . YOU ASKED FOR IT!"
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My choices are all less than ideal at the moment. I just need to decide which is "least worst," I guess.
I'm not "asking" for anything abusive, thanks, whatever I choose.
I'm a little disturbed by the references to a mindset similar to a victim of Scientology, or "you asked for it" comments. I know you want me back up there, and I want to move back to be with my friends and social circle acquaintances again, too, but pushing my guilt and "blame myself" buttons isn't the best persuasive tool. It just makes being carefully rational and weighing my options without adding emotional baggage to them all the more difficult.
If I were to make the decision based solely on how I FEEL, I'd give in to defeatist feelings and run "home" to ostrich away. Not helpful.
What I can do to make the move back to ATL happen sooner is to start looking at rent-to-own properties and such and looking at career / job options with or without an MFA. I need to do this no matter what I decide to do.
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The Scientology thing was an imperfect analogy. I could have just as easily compared the situation to sticking one more quarter in the slot machine. That doesn't mean I think you have a gambling addiction.
I want you weigh all your options and I want you to decide what's best. I don't know the whole situation, obviously, I only know what you tell me in the initial blog post or in the comments when you explain why my suggestions won't work.
But when you make that choice, you face whatever consequence comes with it.
Natalie from HBI says it better than I can.
I met a really cool new person a while back. We had this great conversation, and at one point we discussed the issue of conscious choice and making decisions. She posited that when you make a choice you have to really accept that YOU are making that choice, and that you have to accept the responsibility for it, and ultimately be happy with the choice you made. There will ALWAYS be something better out there. Always be something more. At some point, though, we all have to make that decision. It was music to my ears.
She pointed out that the root of “decide” is the same root as “homicide” - “cidium” - to kill. (While the etymology dictionary says the root of decide is “caedere”, “to cut off”, the intent is the same). When you make a decision, you have to be prepared to accept that the alternate path (or paths) is now not an option. So in order to enjoy life, when you make a choice, you have to also choose to be happy with that choice. You have to truly accept your responsibility for making that choice and then work to make it the right one.
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Point One -- reads a bit like the reason so many poor bastards stay stuck in Scientology, because they can't bear the thought of having spent all that money for nothing.
Point Two -- docwhoopee never got a degree higher than a Bachelor's, and he's done pretty damn well for himself. The degree thing might put limits on what your starting salary would be, but it's not like they're going to cap it and say "Oh, sorry, we can't give you any more raises based on the awesome work you've been doing, because you only have an MA and not an MFA." (When did teaching become a career interest of yours, anyway? Any talk along those lines from you before was pretty much in the negative. Did you really WANT to end up like the embittered professors in Art School Confidential?)
Point Three -- real estate is more affordable than it's been in ages and I'm pretty sure Lake can hook you up with people who will loan you money if you have a pulse.
Maybe you've been having some secret moments of bliss that you're not blogging about, but everything I've been reading for months has been about frustration and aggravation and beating your head against the wall. WHY are you doing this to yourself? What is the POINT?
At the time you moved down, you were held there because you couldn't afford to move back and your grandmother needed you. Both of those conditions are no longer the case (which, I realize, is a good news/bad news sort of thing.)
Yes, it would sting to put all that effort in and then fall short of the degree. But it's not like the knowledge you've gained will evaporate if you drop out. (It might fade a bit if not practiced regularly, but that's true of all knowledge, and would still be the case even if you did get the degree.)
This is your LIFE at stake, Milladollink. Life is meant to be savored and enjoyed and reveled in, not merely ENDURED. Don't sacrifice your own happiness just to prove that you're good enough to people outside yourself.
You could indeed grovel at their feet one more time to win their approval (though I do wonder if they're under financial pressure to refuse people a chance to progress, since taking that much longer means that much more tuition for the school) or you could take your revenge against them by telling them to screw off, moving back up to Atlanta and creating an amazing career and life for yourself that far exceeds anything that degree could possibly provide.
Then again, what do I know? I'm just a grad school dropout, myself.
EDIT: For some reason, it wouldn't let me edit the previous iteration, but will allow me to edit this one. I wonder if perhaps replying 'freezes' it from being edited, or if there's some other glitch.
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