Cooking For Bummies
Lazy? You iz bum? Hate slaving in the kitchen?
I can haz perfect dessert for you. Iz family secret. Do not tell.
ZEBRA CAKE!!!eleventy!!1
1. Buy box of chocolate Necco wafers. Not the tiny candy powdery-ass-tasting things, but plain semi-sweet chocolate biscuit-type cookies. Sometimes these hide in the cocktail section of my local supermarkets. Basically, they taste like the outer part of an Oreo minus the nasty white crap in the middle.
2. Buy heavy whipping cream. Not Cool*Whip. You are going to have to whip it yourself, matey.
3. (Optional) Acquire some liqueur of your choice. You can use Kahlua, or creme de menthe, Godiva, Bailey's, or chocolate vodka, or whatever flavour you actually like, as long as it tastes good with both cream and chocolate.
4. Go home and pick the broken bits out of the Necco box. Hopefully you bought extra, because you will want to make another cake after you taste the first one. Don't throw these away, set them aside.
5. Whip up your whipping cream. Make it nice and thick. If you want to add liqueur, dump a shot or two in at the last minute, and whip it thoroughly.
6. Take a cookie, coat it with a spatula full of whipped cream (plus or minus booze) on one side. Stick another cookie on top of the whipped cream. Repeat until you have a log of cookies sandwiched with whipped cream.
7. Cover all visible cookie areas with whipped cream. Now you have a white log.
8. Take the broken cooky bits you set aside and scrunch them into powder. Sprinkle on the top of the white log. Festive!
9. Cover very loosely with aluminum foil (you can make a "tent" over it) and place in your freezer overnight.
10. Remove, uncover, and then SLICE ON THE DIAGONAL. You end up with a cake with a dozen or so tiny cakey layers, and the whipped cream turns into frosting.
11. Serve with or without a garnish. Prepare to act like you slaved for days slicing cakes into perfect tiny layers.
12. Refuse to share your recipe for Zebra Cake unless bribes are deemed sufficient.
13. Make MOAR.
It is really the easiest to prepare dessert in the world, unless you count just pouring layers of Jell-O and whipped cream into a parfait glass.
Some fools call this icebox cake. Ha. Iz ZEBRA CAKE. Recognize!
I made AND SOLD these for $5 a slice at one restaurant I worked for, and the cost of materials is negligible. (Unless you like REALLY EXPENSIVE liqueur.)
You meet me after eating this, you're going to propose. I swearz. This is but one of my many secret talentz.
This post is dedicated to all those Zebra Girls out there. You know who you are.
.
I can haz perfect dessert for you. Iz family secret. Do not tell.
ZEBRA CAKE!!!eleventy!!1
1. Buy box of chocolate Necco wafers. Not the tiny candy powdery-ass-tasting things, but plain semi-sweet chocolate biscuit-type cookies. Sometimes these hide in the cocktail section of my local supermarkets. Basically, they taste like the outer part of an Oreo minus the nasty white crap in the middle.
2. Buy heavy whipping cream. Not Cool*Whip. You are going to have to whip it yourself, matey.
3. (Optional) Acquire some liqueur of your choice. You can use Kahlua, or creme de menthe, Godiva, Bailey's, or chocolate vodka, or whatever flavour you actually like, as long as it tastes good with both cream and chocolate.
4. Go home and pick the broken bits out of the Necco box. Hopefully you bought extra, because you will want to make another cake after you taste the first one. Don't throw these away, set them aside.
5. Whip up your whipping cream. Make it nice and thick. If you want to add liqueur, dump a shot or two in at the last minute, and whip it thoroughly.
6. Take a cookie, coat it with a spatula full of whipped cream (plus or minus booze) on one side. Stick another cookie on top of the whipped cream. Repeat until you have a log of cookies sandwiched with whipped cream.
7. Cover all visible cookie areas with whipped cream. Now you have a white log.
8. Take the broken cooky bits you set aside and scrunch them into powder. Sprinkle on the top of the white log. Festive!
9. Cover very loosely with aluminum foil (you can make a "tent" over it) and place in your freezer overnight.
10. Remove, uncover, and then SLICE ON THE DIAGONAL. You end up with a cake with a dozen or so tiny cakey layers, and the whipped cream turns into frosting.
11. Serve with or without a garnish. Prepare to act like you slaved for days slicing cakes into perfect tiny layers.
12. Refuse to share your recipe for Zebra Cake unless bribes are deemed sufficient.
13. Make MOAR.
It is really the easiest to prepare dessert in the world, unless you count just pouring layers of Jell-O and whipped cream into a parfait glass.
Some fools call this icebox cake. Ha. Iz ZEBRA CAKE. Recognize!
I made AND SOLD these for $5 a slice at one restaurant I worked for, and the cost of materials is negligible. (Unless you like REALLY EXPENSIVE liqueur.)
You meet me after eating this, you're going to propose. I swearz. This is but one of my many secret talentz.
This post is dedicated to all those Zebra Girls out there. You know who you are.
.