Myers-Briggs May Have Gotten It Right...Where Forum Fights Are Concerned, Anyway.

[britpoptarts]

I get all kinds of shit from my family for answering honestly when they ask me things. Like, "How are you?"

Well, okay, then. Don't ask me anything if a less-than-bubbly response is going to chafe your serenity. Because you are going to get the truth, and nothing but.

Usually my answer is "busy, tired, but alive," or some variation thereof. They don'

Comments

[libgirl]

I think I've seen this particular forum meltdown three or four times ;). It's always funny to me how these sorts of "coming together" things inevitably become "but only if you're like me" things.

Having said that, I understand how the breaking up of a forum like that can upset people. Obviously, I'm more of a Feeler, but I'm also very much a Thinker. When I take these M-B tests, I flip flop on two lines and the T/F is one of them. :)

I agree that the T/F divide most likely rests at the root of some of these issues. I'm more of an F than anyone else in my immediate family and my Dad's the biggest T I know. It makes for very interesting, and sometimes difficult, times.

But, I think another factor is the investment. Some people live their lives online. When they shut down the computer, they are literally unplugged, they lose their life-source. I'm not sure what they did before the internet age--maybe Church or volunteering, but when they aren't online, they can't interact.

People like that become even more dependent on forums, communities, mailing lists, websites etc., than even the biggest F. They don't view war or conflict online as being "online," they view it as war or conflict in their lives. Every community or fandom or mailing list I've ever been on has had at least one or two of these people.

I don't know, internet societies and communities, their vocabularies and protocols and the way they evolve are fascinating to me.

I found this both interesting and insightful--thanks for sharing :D.

Lib...

[britpoptarts]

Interesting points!

Yes, I do think that "feeling invested" is a big part of it.

On some levels, it is like sharing a house with roommates who have radially different ideas about tidiness and decor.

Roommate A likes pink, unicorns, Japanime, rainbows, environmentally conscious hemp cloth, and scads of high-maintenance plants.

Roommate B likes heavy metal/goth/emo band posters, gloomcookie decor like black curtains and gargoyles, and lots of Archie McPhee kitch.

Roommate C is an artist and wants to hang her own stuff on the walls, and to store hundreds of books in the common areas on bookshelves, loves scented candles, and sees nothing wrong with having a (possibly stinky!) hand-me-down couch and mis-matched dining room chairs.

Roommate D is super religious, likes Thomas Kinkaid art prints and Precious Moments figurines, is allergic to everything under the sun, prefers ruffles and plaids, and thinks Garfield is way funny.

How do these different factions agree on how to decorate the common areas without hair-pulling and shouting?

It's the same kind of situation. When you make a forum your "home," certain kinds of decor(um) and interaction make you feel like your tastes are not being represented.

And if the Forum Owner is a landlord in this scenario, there are further limits to what you can do to customize your online "home" as well.

In these cases, whether T or F, the level of investment into an "online home" is high, and seeing things change will exacerbate problems.

Also, people tend to see the past through rose-tinted glasses, remembering the things they used to like about the forum, but forgetting stuff that they didn't like. This leads to "it was a lot better before YOU LOT came along and messed it all up! GTFO, you forum-wreckers" (particularly annoying if both sides were there from the beginning, and are both suffering from rose-tinted glasses at the same time).

Some of the basic ways we learn to get along face-to-face break down online, esp. when people forget that there are other human beings on the other side of every online interaction. Sometimes you see them reading what you wrote, and sometimes you don't, but they have still been affected by your contributions, for better or worse.

In the end, my personal policy is to look to the forum owner to set the rules, and if I don't like them, or the people he appoints as mods, then it is not the forum for me. It is harder if I've been there forever and liked it better before, but I don't beat my head against a wall hoping I'll get what I want. The Internet is too big, and I am too busy, to stick around at a forum I no longer enjoy.

Other people can have different rules, that's just mine.