(no subject)
I really appreciate it, I do. But I think it is sad how they think that they can stop me. I can't stop me. It is the only promise I have ever broken. Other breakers understand that they can't stop me. What makes you think that you can? I want to, I really do. I even wanna tell you but until you know me you cant stop me. You may think you know me but all you see is the charade and I cant show you who I really am because I don't even know who I am. But I am scared to tell you about me. I dont wanna tell you about me because I don't know what to say and I have never told anyone...not anyone that I cared for in this unique way. Plutonic but unique. I am rambling on so much but I dont care. I am scared and sad and nervous and hysterical and freaked and giddy and mad and hurt and dying all at the same time. and it keeps hurting and i want you to hold me and make it go away but I cant ask that and i don't know how to ask it and i am so confused about who you are that i cant ask it. I cant even think straight I keep running into circles that spiral downward and pull me toward memories I dont wanna remember. Things that made me cry when I havent done that in months and months not for real is anything real. I can control and I can feel and I cant give that up but they wanna take it away. Red blue purple orange green brown pink black black black. blah.