Why don't hormones just come with an off switch?
This is going to be a very girly entry. You have been warned.
So, between Ethan, HotJosh, and the most beautiful man in the world(which is really the least of the three, he just got a few stares), my hormones have been working overtime.
I'd really really like for them to just take a vacation to Malibu or something. Somewhere not in my sub and/or not subconcious. Because it's entirely frustrating.
First the Ethan deal. After last Monday's post in the Soardies and the bucket of cold water called "logic" and the phone call to my dear fake big brother, I thought I was fine. I thought I was thinking logically. I thought I could just put it all behind me.
But of course, with school and just idle time comes ample opprotunity for thoughts that should never be. Scenarios that should never be entertained. Thoughts that do not fall under treating the young men as brothers with all purity.
Brit, as a sister in Christ, I promise to faithfully guard your heart and emotions as your brother, and ask you to be equally careful with me, so that before God we can be pure and blameless in this matter.
And I pledged to be as careful as a tightroper walking without a net. But I can't even place guards around my own heart adaquately. The cracks in my armor are becoming caverns, and I'm reaching for the masking tape. Pathetic much?
It'd be easier if a) he wasn't amazing and b) the whole pro-monk thing wasn't a thinly veiled farce.
Of course, if it was easy I wouldn't be learning anything, would I?
Dear God, you took this from me once. Just guard me and give me the strength you know I'm lacking.
Secondly, HotJosh. He is only named HotJosh to create an easy distinction between him and hit-brit-in-the-face-with-a-broomball-stick Josh. HotJosh is definitely a lot shorter of a name.
SO ANYWAYS.
Mmmhmm. Definitely attractive to the extremo. Mmmhmm. Definitely incredibly nice. Mmmhmm. Definitely loves God infectiously.
So what happens when I talk to him?
I flirt/act not Brit-like/change the entire mood of the group.
WITHOUT NOTICING A THING!
I thought I was acting completely normal. When I heard I wasn't I was mortified. I still am if I think about it too much.
So, hm, yeah. Estrogen, progesteron, LH, please all pack up and leave me alone for a little while. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.
So, between Ethan, HotJosh, and the most beautiful man in the world(which is really the least of the three, he just got a few stares), my hormones have been working overtime.
I'd really really like for them to just take a vacation to Malibu or something. Somewhere not in my sub and/or not subconcious. Because it's entirely frustrating.
First the Ethan deal. After last Monday's post in the Soardies and the bucket of cold water called "logic" and the phone call to my dear fake big brother, I thought I was fine. I thought I was thinking logically. I thought I could just put it all behind me.
But of course, with school and just idle time comes ample opprotunity for thoughts that should never be. Scenarios that should never be entertained. Thoughts that do not fall under treating the young men as brothers with all purity.
Brit, as a sister in Christ, I promise to faithfully guard your heart and emotions as your brother, and ask you to be equally careful with me, so that before God we can be pure and blameless in this matter.
And I pledged to be as careful as a tightroper walking without a net. But I can't even place guards around my own heart adaquately. The cracks in my armor are becoming caverns, and I'm reaching for the masking tape. Pathetic much?
It'd be easier if a) he wasn't amazing and b) the whole pro-monk thing wasn't a thinly veiled farce.
Of course, if it was easy I wouldn't be learning anything, would I?
Dear God, you took this from me once. Just guard me and give me the strength you know I'm lacking.
Secondly, HotJosh. He is only named HotJosh to create an easy distinction between him and hit-brit-in-the-face-with-a-broomball-stick Josh. HotJosh is definitely a lot shorter of a name.
SO ANYWAYS.
Mmmhmm. Definitely attractive to the extremo. Mmmhmm. Definitely incredibly nice. Mmmhmm. Definitely loves God infectiously.
So what happens when I talk to him?
I flirt/act not Brit-like/change the entire mood of the group.
WITHOUT NOTICING A THING!
I thought I was acting completely normal. When I heard I wasn't I was mortified. I still am if I think about it too much.
So, hm, yeah. Estrogen, progesteron, LH, please all pack up and leave me alone for a little while. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.