(no subject)
I was searching random journals, kind of wishing i had little tiffs with my brother whos an alcoholic and didnt care so much
Just talked to Karen, made me so sad, she had an eye surgery sounded like she was in pain, had Marty to take care of her, asking if I would be back, where am i, told her i was living here, she has no idea what happened
*Remember the emptiness in Kevin's eyes this morning, the emptiness of love*
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I spend the day mostly at home, interior design ideas swarming my head, nibbling, going to the clinic for a doctors note, finding apparently i have some acidity problem i already knew about but apparently hes giving me something for it, work on smartserve course, look at jobs jobs and jobs, i look looking for jobs, i just wish people would give me a chance, i wonder if my short term job history looks bad, or maybe they will take it as im going for the job i want....
Go for a drive with Amber, see that someone on her MSN is selling a Corsica for 650, consider it....ask questions,
end up going to Port Hope to look at it, Jay was a saviour because i have no idea what im really looking for
Get the history of Jay and Amber, high schools they went to, met some people Jay works with, met his family at Tim Hortons, go to another Tim Hortons...bunch of guys who definitely are all about loving their truck and who think people should love them for their trucks....big SUV with monster tires....when i walked by i wanted to say "Yeah....not bad" just to see what they'd say, lol (as i laugh to myself)
Scenic route on Lakeridge
Newcastle, Cobourg port, check out the real estate, the lake, the scary rickitty bridge
All Ambers wedding planning has gotten ME, me who thought marriage was so...pointless all excited! Talked to Kevin for 3 hours...about, things that went wrong for me, how uncomfortable certain things made me, like house situation, how i would have liked to just do simple things, or walk downstairs and just go to bed, or how i just wanted to crash, how instead of just talking about the things i want or need to do, just do them, and how i never really had my own space, so messes and stuff, it created anxiety almost, and i also would feel bad if i just went downstairs without talking to him and spending time with him, especially when he was watching tv or something
Future NOTE -liquids tranny and oil, check under it for leaks and holes,
-check e test and safety, ask if oil has been changed recently
-how new the battery is
-hear it run
-tires
-next time bring list for whats required for safety
-ask how long hes had it and whats been done
-brakes
Later....I wake up to Amber having a fever of 103.3, i sound like i have a stern tone or something but im really expressing worry and concern, frustration with why she has gone to the doctor and they havent found anything when theres CLEARLY something wrong
She calls Telehealth, and suggest almost nothing, everyone has asked if she is pregnant but the chances are slim to none....
Lazily shower, make ravioli for Amber, go to work, do a terrible job and dont really care too much....
Just talked to Karen, made me so sad, she had an eye surgery sounded like she was in pain, had Marty to take care of her, asking if I would be back, where am i, told her i was living here, she has no idea what happened
*Remember the emptiness in Kevin's eyes this morning, the emptiness of love*
-----
I spend the day mostly at home, interior design ideas swarming my head, nibbling, going to the clinic for a doctors note, finding apparently i have some acidity problem i already knew about but apparently hes giving me something for it, work on smartserve course, look at jobs jobs and jobs, i look looking for jobs, i just wish people would give me a chance, i wonder if my short term job history looks bad, or maybe they will take it as im going for the job i want....
Go for a drive with Amber, see that someone on her MSN is selling a Corsica for 650, consider it....ask questions,
end up going to Port Hope to look at it, Jay was a saviour because i have no idea what im really looking for
Get the history of Jay and Amber, high schools they went to, met some people Jay works with, met his family at Tim Hortons, go to another Tim Hortons...bunch of guys who definitely are all about loving their truck and who think people should love them for their trucks....big SUV with monster tires....when i walked by i wanted to say "Yeah....not bad" just to see what they'd say, lol (as i laugh to myself)
Scenic route on Lakeridge
Newcastle, Cobourg port, check out the real estate, the lake, the scary rickitty bridge
All Ambers wedding planning has gotten ME, me who thought marriage was so...pointless all excited! Talked to Kevin for 3 hours...about, things that went wrong for me, how uncomfortable certain things made me, like house situation, how i would have liked to just do simple things, or walk downstairs and just go to bed, or how i just wanted to crash, how instead of just talking about the things i want or need to do, just do them, and how i never really had my own space, so messes and stuff, it created anxiety almost, and i also would feel bad if i just went downstairs without talking to him and spending time with him, especially when he was watching tv or something
Future NOTE -liquids tranny and oil, check under it for leaks and holes,
-check e test and safety, ask if oil has been changed recently
-how new the battery is
-hear it run
-tires
-next time bring list for whats required for safety
-ask how long hes had it and whats been done
-brakes
Later....I wake up to Amber having a fever of 103.3, i sound like i have a stern tone or something but im really expressing worry and concern, frustration with why she has gone to the doctor and they havent found anything when theres CLEARLY something wrong
She calls Telehealth, and suggest almost nothing, everyone has asked if she is pregnant but the chances are slim to none....
Lazily shower, make ravioli for Amber, go to work, do a terrible job and dont really care too much....