(no subject)
So i have lived in to many places to do this but here goes enjoy if you actually get through it!!
South Africa
You Know You're From South Africa When...
You realise after watching the news on TV that nothing happened in the rest of the world.
To alleviate congestion in post office queues, they bring in the innovative idea of selling scratch cards.
You are expected to carry a drivers licence that doesn't fit into your wallet.
The fact that there is an election and people are standing in line waiting to vote is more important than the result of the election.
The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.
People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to get up and make it themselves.
A minibus taxi overtakes you, just to stop right in front of you.
When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.
You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
You have to prove you don't need a loan to get one.
A shop clerk makes you feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by letting you buy from their shop.
You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
The police ask you if they should follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
You paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.
When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are seperated by a Xhosa anouncement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad.
The government has more opposition from themselves, than from any opposition party.
A minister is fired, and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the G-number-plated BMW.
A 45 year old engineer is replaced by a 25 year old who cannot write his own name.
The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
Half the city pays for the other halve's electricity and water supply.
A murderer gets a 2 year sentence, and a pirate M-Net viewer a 6 month sentence.
Crime actually DOES pay.
The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished viewing.
The government GIVES you a house, and you complain.
You can't even go on a business trip to Oz without somebody asking knowingly, "Oh, having a look around, are you? ..."
You attempt to get onto a freeway via an on-ramp and the guy approaching on the freeway deliberately speeds up to prevent you merging smoothly with the traffic.
There is more space between the sole of your foot and the accelerator pedal than between your rear bumper and the car behind you.
People would rather drive a flashy car with HUGE repayments and MASSIVE insurance than live in a decent house.
The post office stores letters instead of delivering them.
An employer has to pay his employees wages during a strike and cannot lock them out.
Cops are always able to spot you for parking without display while never able to see the minibus taxis parking in the middle of the road.
SABC 3 is SABC 2 after 18:30, only in KwaZulu-Natal, except on the weekend.
Petrol takes the biggest price jump in history, the banks increase their interest rates by two percent, and the Rand's value dives by 25%, but we are told that "we have just had the lowest inflation rate increase in 24 years".
You go to prison for murder, and instead of the death sentence, you get a nice box of condoms.
Pre-election promises change into "Rome wasn't built in a day".
The Minister of Housing didn't build a single house.
The Minister of Finance doesn't wear a tie.
The Minister-without-Portfolio makes more noise than all the portfolios put together, and then, when he's given a portfolio, you never hear from him again.
The Minister of Tourism is the same person who said "One Settler, One Bullet".
You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume".
You stop at robots, not traffic lights.
You've never seen live theatre, but you've heard of it.
You only drink instant coffee and in fact have no clue why anyone would bother drinking anything else.
You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
None of the programs on the five available TV channels run on time.
You think a car's hazard lights mean, "F*** you, I'm stopping here."
Your standard response to any statement is, "Is it?" (Pronounced, "Izzit?")
You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
The electricity goes off and you see it as a sign of The Collapse of Civilization (tm).
The electricity comes back on, and you check to see if there are any soccer or cricket games on TV - why else would ESCOM have fixed the electricity so quickly?
"Armed Response" is not an action, it's a description of every security company in the country.
You actually bought baked beans in 1994 before the elections.
You feel it is your democratic duty to vote.
You have a gear lock for your car.
You come out of a friend's house/shopping centre/office to find the gear lock worked and your car is still there, but your radio, tapes, jersey and every other removable thing you had in the car is gone, and you just sigh, shrug and go home.
You know the urban legend about the Oriental Plaza.
You gawk at American tourists. They're so rare.
Someone mentions the sea, and your first thought is "Durban" although you wouldn't actually go there.
You've been up Table Mountain.
You've been to the Kruger National Park, but only as a child when your school arranged a tour.
You've never seen snow in real life.
You know what 'water restrictions' are.
Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and volcanoes are only known to you through disaster movies, but you're intimately acquainted with floods and droughts.
You go to a shopping mall and have to keep detouring around people who stop dead in the middle of the aisle when something catches their interest.
You go to a New Year street party in Hillbrow and wake up in hospital.
You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State.
You shout "Vrystaat!" at rugby games, local or international, even when Vrystaat (the Free State) isn't playing.
You think that the people who paint their faces the colour of the SA flag look really cool. You still rub people's noses in the fact that we won the 1995 Rugby World Cup.
The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from South Africa.
Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here
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Blogthings
Britain
You Know You're From Britain When...
You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.
You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares.
Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.
You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!
You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.
You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.
You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.
You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes.
You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).
You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.
You can't remember what 'customer service' means.
After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house
More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser
You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.
You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.
You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year
You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.
A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.
You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.
You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear
You've accepted queuing as a way of life.
You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs.
You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?).
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Britan.
Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here
More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings
London
You Know You're From London When...
You say "the city" and expect everyone to know which one.
You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton.
You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.
Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
You step over people who collapse on the tube.
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
You've considered stabbing someone.
Your door has more than three locks.
Your favourite movie has Hugh Grant in it.
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.
You know where Karl Marx is buried.
You consider Essex the "countryside"
You think Hyde Park is "nature."
You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain."
Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.
You've been to Tooting twice and got hopelessly lost both times.
You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.
You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went camping as a kid.
You own hiking boots and a 4WD vehicle, neither of which have ever touched dirt.
You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977, and when you did, it terrified you.
You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
You actually take fashion seriously.
Being truly alone makes you nervous.
You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
You haven't cooked a meal since helping mum last Christmas with the turkey.
Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
£50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
You don't hear sirens anymore.
You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs.
You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.
Your cleaner is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favourite bartender is Irish, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsagent is Indian and your favourite falafel guy is Egyptian.
You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.
You say 'mate' constantly
Anyone not from London is a 'wanker'
Anyone from outside London and north of the Watford Gap is a 'Northern Wanker'
You have no idea where the North is.
You see All Saints in the Met Bar (again) and find it hard to get excited about it.
The countryside makes you nervous
Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are a stalker.
You talk in postcodes. "God, it was really warm round SW1 the other day"
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from London.
Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here
More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings
South Africa
You Know You're From South Africa When...
You realise after watching the news on TV that nothing happened in the rest of the world.
To alleviate congestion in post office queues, they bring in the innovative idea of selling scratch cards.
You are expected to carry a drivers licence that doesn't fit into your wallet.
The fact that there is an election and people are standing in line waiting to vote is more important than the result of the election.
The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.
People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to get up and make it themselves.
A minibus taxi overtakes you, just to stop right in front of you.
When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.
You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
You have to prove you don't need a loan to get one.
A shop clerk makes you feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by letting you buy from their shop.
You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
The police ask you if they should follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
You paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.
When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are seperated by a Xhosa anouncement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad.
The government has more opposition from themselves, than from any opposition party.
A minister is fired, and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the G-number-plated BMW.
A 45 year old engineer is replaced by a 25 year old who cannot write his own name.
The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
Half the city pays for the other halve's electricity and water supply.
A murderer gets a 2 year sentence, and a pirate M-Net viewer a 6 month sentence.
Crime actually DOES pay.
The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished viewing.
The government GIVES you a house, and you complain.
You can't even go on a business trip to Oz without somebody asking knowingly, "Oh, having a look around, are you? ..."
You attempt to get onto a freeway via an on-ramp and the guy approaching on the freeway deliberately speeds up to prevent you merging smoothly with the traffic.
There is more space between the sole of your foot and the accelerator pedal than between your rear bumper and the car behind you.
People would rather drive a flashy car with HUGE repayments and MASSIVE insurance than live in a decent house.
The post office stores letters instead of delivering them.
An employer has to pay his employees wages during a strike and cannot lock them out.
Cops are always able to spot you for parking without display while never able to see the minibus taxis parking in the middle of the road.
SABC 3 is SABC 2 after 18:30, only in KwaZulu-Natal, except on the weekend.
Petrol takes the biggest price jump in history, the banks increase their interest rates by two percent, and the Rand's value dives by 25%, but we are told that "we have just had the lowest inflation rate increase in 24 years".
You go to prison for murder, and instead of the death sentence, you get a nice box of condoms.
Pre-election promises change into "Rome wasn't built in a day".
The Minister of Housing didn't build a single house.
The Minister of Finance doesn't wear a tie.
The Minister-without-Portfolio makes more noise than all the portfolios put together, and then, when he's given a portfolio, you never hear from him again.
The Minister of Tourism is the same person who said "One Settler, One Bullet".
You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume".
You stop at robots, not traffic lights.
You've never seen live theatre, but you've heard of it.
You only drink instant coffee and in fact have no clue why anyone would bother drinking anything else.
You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
None of the programs on the five available TV channels run on time.
You think a car's hazard lights mean, "F*** you, I'm stopping here."
Your standard response to any statement is, "Is it?" (Pronounced, "Izzit?")
You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
The electricity goes off and you see it as a sign of The Collapse of Civilization (tm).
The electricity comes back on, and you check to see if there are any soccer or cricket games on TV - why else would ESCOM have fixed the electricity so quickly?
"Armed Response" is not an action, it's a description of every security company in the country.
You actually bought baked beans in 1994 before the elections.
You feel it is your democratic duty to vote.
You have a gear lock for your car.
You come out of a friend's house/shopping centre/office to find the gear lock worked and your car is still there, but your radio, tapes, jersey and every other removable thing you had in the car is gone, and you just sigh, shrug and go home.
You know the urban legend about the Oriental Plaza.
You gawk at American tourists. They're so rare.
Someone mentions the sea, and your first thought is "Durban" although you wouldn't actually go there.
You've been up Table Mountain.
You've been to the Kruger National Park, but only as a child when your school arranged a tour.
You've never seen snow in real life.
You know what 'water restrictions' are.
Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and volcanoes are only known to you through disaster movies, but you're intimately acquainted with floods and droughts.
You go to a shopping mall and have to keep detouring around people who stop dead in the middle of the aisle when something catches their interest.
You go to a New Year street party in Hillbrow and wake up in hospital.
You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State.
You shout "Vrystaat!" at rugby games, local or international, even when Vrystaat (the Free State) isn't playing.
You think that the people who paint their faces the colour of the SA flag look really cool. You still rub people's noses in the fact that we won the 1995 Rugby World Cup.
The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from South Africa.
Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here
More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings
Britain
You Know You're From Britain When...
You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.
You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares.
Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.
You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!
You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.
You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.
You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.
You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes.
You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).
You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.
You can't remember what 'customer service' means.
After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house
More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser
You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.
You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.
You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year
You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.
A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.
You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.
You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear
You've accepted queuing as a way of life.
You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs.
You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?).
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Britan.
Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here
More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings
London
You Know You're From London When...
You say "the city" and expect everyone to know which one.
You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton.
You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.
Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
You step over people who collapse on the tube.
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
You've considered stabbing someone.
Your door has more than three locks.
Your favourite movie has Hugh Grant in it.
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.
You know where Karl Marx is buried.
You consider Essex the "countryside"
You think Hyde Park is "nature."
You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain."
Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.
You've been to Tooting twice and got hopelessly lost both times.
You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.
You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went camping as a kid.
You own hiking boots and a 4WD vehicle, neither of which have ever touched dirt.
You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977, and when you did, it terrified you.
You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
You actually take fashion seriously.
Being truly alone makes you nervous.
You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
You haven't cooked a meal since helping mum last Christmas with the turkey.
Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
£50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
You don't hear sirens anymore.
You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs.
You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.
Your cleaner is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favourite bartender is Irish, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsagent is Indian and your favourite falafel guy is Egyptian.
You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.
You say 'mate' constantly
Anyone not from London is a 'wanker'
Anyone from outside London and north of the Watford Gap is a 'Northern Wanker'
You have no idea where the North is.
You see All Saints in the Met Bar (again) and find it hard to get excited about it.
The countryside makes you nervous
Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are a stalker.
You talk in postcodes. "God, it was really warm round SW1 the other day"
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from London.
Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here
More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings