Last posted in 2005, and back again...
Ok, so in light of the holiday upcoming, I've decided to share a happy tale of artificial insemination and how little turkeys end up on our plates.
Feeder turkeys are bred from breeder turkeys. Now as we all know, the best turkeys have large breasts for more meat. So it makes sense that both the best feeder and breeder turkeys would have very large breasts.
Now think of two fat people trying to fuck. Their huge stomachs preventing closeness between the fat tubs.
Ok, so when a male turkey with a large yummy breast of meat is trying to get it on with a chick (bad pun) to make little turklettes, his big 'ol yum tum gets in the way of the booty. In other words, fat turkeys can't fuck.
This is where artificial insemination comes in. There is a whole group of nice people who get paid to either masturbate these male turkeys for ejaculation or to stick electric probes up the male turkeys' butts, sending a shock which thereby stimulates the prostate and causes ejaculation. Fun, eh?
Once the male is handled (ha ha) the female is inseminated with a turkey baster (I'm not even joking - farmers are fucked up) and hung upside down by her feet so the sperm stays in and she gets pregnant. Finally ending in little turkles.
So there you have it. Dinner with all of the sadomasochism that produces good meat and none of that messy sex between anorexic turkeys. Everyone is fat, no one really gets laid. What a society.
Sadly enough, I am getting my degree in veterinary medicine so not only can I fully vouch for this being true, but I have textbooks that describe it in detail.
But only chickens are decent people... turkeys just fuck shit up.
Enjoy your meal.
Feeder turkeys are bred from breeder turkeys. Now as we all know, the best turkeys have large breasts for more meat. So it makes sense that both the best feeder and breeder turkeys would have very large breasts.
Now think of two fat people trying to fuck. Their huge stomachs preventing closeness between the fat tubs.
Ok, so when a male turkey with a large yummy breast of meat is trying to get it on with a chick (bad pun) to make little turklettes, his big 'ol yum tum gets in the way of the booty. In other words, fat turkeys can't fuck.
This is where artificial insemination comes in. There is a whole group of nice people who get paid to either masturbate these male turkeys for ejaculation or to stick electric probes up the male turkeys' butts, sending a shock which thereby stimulates the prostate and causes ejaculation. Fun, eh?
Once the male is handled (ha ha) the female is inseminated with a turkey baster (I'm not even joking - farmers are fucked up) and hung upside down by her feet so the sperm stays in and she gets pregnant. Finally ending in little turkles.
So there you have it. Dinner with all of the sadomasochism that produces good meat and none of that messy sex between anorexic turkeys. Everyone is fat, no one really gets laid. What a society.
Sadly enough, I am getting my degree in veterinary medicine so not only can I fully vouch for this being true, but I have textbooks that describe it in detail.
But only chickens are decent people... turkeys just fuck shit up.
Enjoy your meal.