(no subject)
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF BIFF CHAV!
(2005-2073) R.I.P
viva_la_rissa took an immediate disliking to Biff after he decided to slobber all over
viva_la_rissa's new outfit.
When he was 1, Biff threatened to run away to Bognor Regis if
britesmile did not buy them a gold medallion. Since
britesmile could not give a fuck, they let Biff go!
In 2023 he was suspended from school for sniffing a lethal cocktail of Persil washing powder and dog shit.
During the course of 2032, Biff received numerous death threats from neighbours who were rather distressed at the volume at which he aired their absymal trance records at! For most of 2032, Biff spent 81% of their time in bed, prodding themselves off to Elvis records.
After a 12 hour masterbation marathon he crashed out on a rocking chair with a lit cigarette. The cigarette fell to the floor and in no time the house was engulfed in flames! On
britesmile's birthday 2045, Biff sent them a shit as a gift.
britesmile sent the shit off for DNA testing and Biff was quickly arrested!
An appearance on 'Whos Wants To Be A Millionaire' ended in carnage after Biff attempted to smuggle the hotseat out of the builder. Chris Tarrant was wise to Biff's idea and proceeded to beat them to a pulp!
In a moment of frenzied hilarity,
britesmile beat Biff to death with a frying pan.
britesmile was acquitted from murder by the courts after they realised what an utter bastard Biff was!
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