(no subject)
I have lots of ideas but am bad at making them happen. Sadly much of it is because I lack the skills to create my ideas. I could learn the skills I suppose, but then I wonder if the "energy" to create the ideas would still be there after learning the skills? Or will it "pass" as it often does, the inspiration... gone, and all the initial enthusiasm. I wish I knew Windows CE programming. I wish I knew Flash. I wish I knew how to patent something and mold plastics.
Internet is fixed thanks to Pawl. I really screwed it up, but all is well now. I feel like an idiot sometimes. I had this momentary thought that is why I do not like to learn new things sometimes. If I fail at mastering it right away I feel like I have failed and that I am stupid. Also, the slow pace of not knowing my tools makes me frustrated as I cannot produce what I want as I'm thinking of it. Again the fear that the idea will flit away and sit unfinished or half baked.
I feel the press of time and chide myself for procrastinating while I am aware of the clock ticking. Why do I not "do?" Why do I ponder and ruminate? When I was younger I would have picked something and ran with it. Now I think "If I try this and blow it that's X months/years wasted." Since when did I become so thrifty with time? And yet, so wasteful, sitting here typing when I could be doing?
Internet is fixed thanks to Pawl. I really screwed it up, but all is well now. I feel like an idiot sometimes. I had this momentary thought that is why I do not like to learn new things sometimes. If I fail at mastering it right away I feel like I have failed and that I am stupid. Also, the slow pace of not knowing my tools makes me frustrated as I cannot produce what I want as I'm thinking of it. Again the fear that the idea will flit away and sit unfinished or half baked.
I feel the press of time and chide myself for procrastinating while I am aware of the clock ticking. Why do I not "do?" Why do I ponder and ruminate? When I was younger I would have picked something and ran with it. Now I think "If I try this and blow it that's X months/years wasted." Since when did I become so thrifty with time? And yet, so wasteful, sitting here typing when I could be doing?