Reassessing the Situation
Okay so its been almost 4 years since I've written anything in this journal. Which is to say the least, kind of impressive considering how frequently I used to use this space as a place to expel all of the random thoughts that I had inside of my head.
I believe that last entry in this was about a certain someone who had been in and out of my life for quite some time. He was a bad person, and I was too blinded by the idea that he was someone from my past, someone I had a history with that I couldn't see what kind of damage and distress he would continually cause me. I was ready to be something for him and to him, and he was just ready to use me. It was sad really.
I was in this mind set at the time where I thought that I was the one using them.. But really in a few instances it was them using me. Though I'm not sure I would ever admit that to anyone really. And I got hurt, during that time in between serious relationship ex. A and serious relationship ex. B. I learned that I can use my sexuality in a bar to get pretty much whatever I want, as long as I'm drunk enough to swing my hips and push out my breasts in the direction of wanted object. I also learned, that I don't like the way alcohol is or seems to be the cause of many many arguments and problems.
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Those things that happened before, I believe are just what prepared me for what I am going through now. I found someone 3 years ago that loves me for who I am. Doesn't expect some kind of a party type girl attitude out of me, and is okay with just hanging out at home most nights playing video games, and getting high. :) He takes care of me, and loves me with everything he has. He even make artwork featuring me, and sometimes the kitties.
So, I took my experience with Books-A-Million, and I used it to get me further up in the career bracket of retail. And to propel me towards the west coast of the USA. :) Justin and I packed all of our things into a van that had fold down seats and drove across country to our new home. Mind you the kitties were screaming all the way here.. Until we gave Mr. Hand a sedative, which quieted him down quite a bit. Once we finally reached our destination I was mountain sick for almost 5 days straight. The first 3 days I couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw it up.
We are living in a place where you can get to the city in an hour and a half, and to the mountains as well. I am more excited about all the opportunity here than I have ever been before. :) We have found a place for us, and there are more opportunities that will present themselves as the year goes along. :) :)
I believe that last entry in this was about a certain someone who had been in and out of my life for quite some time. He was a bad person, and I was too blinded by the idea that he was someone from my past, someone I had a history with that I couldn't see what kind of damage and distress he would continually cause me. I was ready to be something for him and to him, and he was just ready to use me. It was sad really.
I was in this mind set at the time where I thought that I was the one using them.. But really in a few instances it was them using me. Though I'm not sure I would ever admit that to anyone really. And I got hurt, during that time in between serious relationship ex. A and serious relationship ex. B. I learned that I can use my sexuality in a bar to get pretty much whatever I want, as long as I'm drunk enough to swing my hips and push out my breasts in the direction of wanted object. I also learned, that I don't like the way alcohol is or seems to be the cause of many many arguments and problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Those things that happened before, I believe are just what prepared me for what I am going through now. I found someone 3 years ago that loves me for who I am. Doesn't expect some kind of a party type girl attitude out of me, and is okay with just hanging out at home most nights playing video games, and getting high. :) He takes care of me, and loves me with everything he has. He even make artwork featuring me, and sometimes the kitties.
So, I took my experience with Books-A-Million, and I used it to get me further up in the career bracket of retail. And to propel me towards the west coast of the USA. :) Justin and I packed all of our things into a van that had fold down seats and drove across country to our new home. Mind you the kitties were screaming all the way here.. Until we gave Mr. Hand a sedative, which quieted him down quite a bit. Once we finally reached our destination I was mountain sick for almost 5 days straight. The first 3 days I couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw it up.
We are living in a place where you can get to the city in an hour and a half, and to the mountains as well. I am more excited about all the opportunity here than I have ever been before. :) We have found a place for us, and there are more opportunities that will present themselves as the year goes along. :) :)