Ignoring your own deadlines...
*Overwhelming flood of emotions...*
I'm falling again. It's happening once more. I do conjecture that fall has finally come full swing...and the weather has never been so nostalgic. That odd, ambiguous, dominating feeling of yearning for the past and reaching out in every direction for love has finally arrived for the season.
I can't find my bearings on life. Have you ever noticed the top of the page on livejournal? Kind of interesting, I have to say.
I learned yesterday that you don't really feel the way I thought you might have. The way I thought you were giving me a taste of with every hug that we squeezed out of each other. Turns out it was just I who was squeezing. Maybe you were just responding. I thought you were sharing yourself. I thought that maybe we were building something meaningful...something that maybe I could at some point ask you about and you would smile and nod...and I could finally touch your hand...and melt...
But it looks as though I was creating a whole world on my own. I was imagining what would happen if our little sporadic visits became not-so-spaced and my friends became yours and I could share inside jokes with yours. I was anticipating what your first kiss would taste like....I was romanticizing.
I do believe that I might do this for my whole life...but maybe someday someone will come along that I could love like I was beginning to feel about you.
I had begun to think that the fountain meant something....now I will only be able to think of you when I go there...
Why is every little smidgen of happiness ripped from me?
Last night, after hearing about my failure at being good enough for you, I hit my dog, made her fall, cursed out my mom behind her back....and I went into complete shock, sat out on the steps of my house...and in the cold, unforgiving air, I cried.
Save me, please....I'm begging you.
"Last night I said to her
I didn't want to live inside a lie.
If she wants him
More than she wants me,
Let this be.
She'll come back to me.
All day I wait and wait
To hear her footsteps on my walkway.
She never came.
She never even called.
Somehow I know it won't last.
Somehow I know it won't last too long.
She'll come back to me." -Cake
At least there is some optimism that can be gained...
I'm falling again. It's happening once more. I do conjecture that fall has finally come full swing...and the weather has never been so nostalgic. That odd, ambiguous, dominating feeling of yearning for the past and reaching out in every direction for love has finally arrived for the season.
I can't find my bearings on life. Have you ever noticed the top of the page on livejournal? Kind of interesting, I have to say.
I learned yesterday that you don't really feel the way I thought you might have. The way I thought you were giving me a taste of with every hug that we squeezed out of each other. Turns out it was just I who was squeezing. Maybe you were just responding. I thought you were sharing yourself. I thought that maybe we were building something meaningful...something that maybe I could at some point ask you about and you would smile and nod...and I could finally touch your hand...and melt...
But it looks as though I was creating a whole world on my own. I was imagining what would happen if our little sporadic visits became not-so-spaced and my friends became yours and I could share inside jokes with yours. I was anticipating what your first kiss would taste like....I was romanticizing.
I do believe that I might do this for my whole life...but maybe someday someone will come along that I could love like I was beginning to feel about you.
I had begun to think that the fountain meant something....now I will only be able to think of you when I go there...
Why is every little smidgen of happiness ripped from me?
Last night, after hearing about my failure at being good enough for you, I hit my dog, made her fall, cursed out my mom behind her back....and I went into complete shock, sat out on the steps of my house...and in the cold, unforgiving air, I cried.
Save me, please....I'm begging you.
"Last night I said to her
I didn't want to live inside a lie.
If she wants him
More than she wants me,
Let this be.
She'll come back to me.
All day I wait and wait
To hear her footsteps on my walkway.
She never came.
She never even called.
Somehow I know it won't last.
Somehow I know it won't last too long.
She'll come back to me." -Cake
At least there is some optimism that can be gained...