rawr.
I would like to have a light brite. yeah.
A random annoyance of mine is mothers who refer to their child's age in months after their first year of life. I hear this "ohhh he's 19 moths old" garbage at work all the time. That is completely ridiculous to me. After twelve months, why the hell would you not just say "he/she is one"??? ugh.
I miss Brock. And I'm excited to go see him Friday. Yeah-uh.
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< begin random thought > I wan't you to be my boyfriend. I wan't you to wan't me to be your girlfriend. I have a boyfriend/girlfriend crush on you. I can't make it any clearer. but I'm never going to talk to you about it, unless you get me drunk enough tomorrow, and I'm going to be shy about it forever. and seriously never confront you with it. So, when I miss my chance and look back on my life, I'll regret not ever taking a chance. Because I'm not scared of you turning me down or anything. I'm just a little wigged out about the circumstances which brought us together. The similar people we have in our lives who wouldn't look kindly on us even being friends. but who knows, maybe you'll run across this. and of course you'll know I'm talking about you because...well duh.
I just want you to be my boyfriend. and I want to hold your hand. a lot.
Nine times out of ten I'd say I only do things out of fear. What would happen if I didn't do this? Also, sometimes I feel like a six year-old trapped in a twenty year old body. It's easy to notice your own immaturity when you've bonded with people who are similarly immature. And I'm starting to think that being immature isn't so bad. I'm not as jaded as I could be.
Lately, I've been bombarded with these feelings of total, uncontrollable bleakness. Maybe it's because I stopped exercising. I haven't gained any of the weight back, but maybe the lack of extra endorphins being released is making me into a soppy, emotional mess. I feel so stupid using the title "young woman." I'm not sure when I became a woman, I don't remember that happening.
Maybe this is some realization of my childhood being robbed from me blah blah catching up to me later in life etc. Though sometimes I feel like a young girl, sometimes I feel like a fat, old menopausal woman. It's like I'm every age but the one I actually am now. Does that even make sense?
And as misguided as I am, I am still stunned by the people even more misguided than I, who parade around with a temporary sense of self-worth based off of pointless bullshit. Recently, I've wondered, "Are you happy because you're doing well, or is it because I'm doing poorly?" Are you finally hoping to achieve some retribution? Because that would involve me giving a shit. I don't know what it is I'm looking for, but do you? Have you ever stopped and asked yourself that question, or is it too difficult because you can't face the answer? Can't anyone just admit that they fucked up, instead of having to find someone to blame it on? I've fucked up plenty of times, and I quit blaming my parents, but they sure as shit haven't quit blaming me.
I guess when you go really fast for awhile, life catches up to you the second you slow down. That sounds so corny, but it's kind of how I feel. I'm bombarded with questions. Why haven't I done so many things that I repeatedly told myself I was going to do?
my life as we know it is going down the drain. its time to think closely about the next step
termination.
A random annoyance of mine is mothers who refer to their child's age in months after their first year of life. I hear this "ohhh he's 19 moths old" garbage at work all the time. That is completely ridiculous to me. After twelve months, why the hell would you not just say "he/she is one"??? ugh.
I miss Brock. And I'm excited to go see him Friday. Yeah-uh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~````````````````
< begin random thought > I wan't you to be my boyfriend. I wan't you to wan't me to be your girlfriend. I have a boyfriend/girlfriend crush on you. I can't make it any clearer. but I'm never going to talk to you about it, unless you get me drunk enough tomorrow, and I'm going to be shy about it forever. and seriously never confront you with it. So, when I miss my chance and look back on my life, I'll regret not ever taking a chance. Because I'm not scared of you turning me down or anything. I'm just a little wigged out about the circumstances which brought us together. The similar people we have in our lives who wouldn't look kindly on us even being friends. but who knows, maybe you'll run across this. and of course you'll know I'm talking about you because...well duh.
I just want you to be my boyfriend. and I want to hold your hand. a lot.
Nine times out of ten I'd say I only do things out of fear. What would happen if I didn't do this? Also, sometimes I feel like a six year-old trapped in a twenty year old body. It's easy to notice your own immaturity when you've bonded with people who are similarly immature. And I'm starting to think that being immature isn't so bad. I'm not as jaded as I could be.
Lately, I've been bombarded with these feelings of total, uncontrollable bleakness. Maybe it's because I stopped exercising. I haven't gained any of the weight back, but maybe the lack of extra endorphins being released is making me into a soppy, emotional mess. I feel so stupid using the title "young woman." I'm not sure when I became a woman, I don't remember that happening.
Maybe this is some realization of my childhood being robbed from me blah blah catching up to me later in life etc. Though sometimes I feel like a young girl, sometimes I feel like a fat, old menopausal woman. It's like I'm every age but the one I actually am now. Does that even make sense?
And as misguided as I am, I am still stunned by the people even more misguided than I, who parade around with a temporary sense of self-worth based off of pointless bullshit. Recently, I've wondered, "Are you happy because you're doing well, or is it because I'm doing poorly?" Are you finally hoping to achieve some retribution? Because that would involve me giving a shit. I don't know what it is I'm looking for, but do you? Have you ever stopped and asked yourself that question, or is it too difficult because you can't face the answer? Can't anyone just admit that they fucked up, instead of having to find someone to blame it on? I've fucked up plenty of times, and I quit blaming my parents, but they sure as shit haven't quit blaming me.
I guess when you go really fast for awhile, life catches up to you the second you slow down. That sounds so corny, but it's kind of how I feel. I'm bombarded with questions. Why haven't I done so many things that I repeatedly told myself I was going to do?
my life as we know it is going down the drain. its time to think closely about the next step
termination.