(no subject)
What can I say, that last entry was the result of PMS at its peak. Not joking. Sometimes I just get so bitchy and moody that I start to think "there's no WAY PMS could do this....I must be going insane." But then, sure enough, Aunt Flo comes to visit in the next couple of days. Hmph, one would think I would be used to this by now. Whatever. My apologies to all male readers. If there are any.
Another result of the menstrual cycle: I feel very very fat. Bleh.
It is also monstrously hot today, and I just want to lock myself in a meat freezer. Good idea, eh? Not that I'm complaining too much, I'm glad it at least feels like summer finally. And it means more kids are signing up for swimming lessons, which is always good for me.
July is flying by. Honestly flying. I am starting to get kind of freaked out, as September sixth is approaching so fast. SO FAST. For those of you not up to date on my life, that's the day I leave for Austria. And I won't be back for nine months. Oh man, oh man. I'm so excited to go and make new friends and have great experiences. But I'm scared. Scared to leave everything I know and love, and to be away from the people closest to my heart for so long. As I learned over the course of my freshman year, it is impossible to fathom how much can happen in the span of nine months. Im-poss-i-ble. I think what it all comes down to is that I'm really afraid everyone is going to move on without me while I'm gone, going to adjust their lives to me not being there. And when I get back, they won't want to readjust to let me back in. Probably won't happen, because I know I'm loved. But. I'm still afraid.
I also found out the other day that someone I still counted as a good friend (or at least I was trying to), apparantely thinks I'm a compulsive liar. Wow. I still don't have the faintest idea why this person would think that. I'm still really hurt that they do. Really hurt. I wish I could convince said friend otherwise. But I have a feeling there's nothing I can do. I have a feeling this friend has just had enough of me, and wouldn't want to listen to a word I have to say. This makes me so sad. I felt like I was really close to this person, for a short time. And then there was a lot of shit between us, and others, and I felt like we didn't have that closeness anymore. Maybe I was imagining it, and we didn't connect the way I thought we did. But while we had it (or while I thought we had it), I really enjoyed this friend. I suppose it's another casualty of growing up and growing apart. I just wish we could understand each other...and I could know what brought this on.
SHOOT I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE DEPRESSING AGAIN. Ok, happy news: I'm going to visit Valerie and Brittany in a few days. I cannot wait. It will be a fantastic time, I'm sure of it. Wahoo.
Another result of the menstrual cycle: I feel very very fat. Bleh.
It is also monstrously hot today, and I just want to lock myself in a meat freezer. Good idea, eh? Not that I'm complaining too much, I'm glad it at least feels like summer finally. And it means more kids are signing up for swimming lessons, which is always good for me.
July is flying by. Honestly flying. I am starting to get kind of freaked out, as September sixth is approaching so fast. SO FAST. For those of you not up to date on my life, that's the day I leave for Austria. And I won't be back for nine months. Oh man, oh man. I'm so excited to go and make new friends and have great experiences. But I'm scared. Scared to leave everything I know and love, and to be away from the people closest to my heart for so long. As I learned over the course of my freshman year, it is impossible to fathom how much can happen in the span of nine months. Im-poss-i-ble. I think what it all comes down to is that I'm really afraid everyone is going to move on without me while I'm gone, going to adjust their lives to me not being there. And when I get back, they won't want to readjust to let me back in. Probably won't happen, because I know I'm loved. But. I'm still afraid.
I also found out the other day that someone I still counted as a good friend (or at least I was trying to), apparantely thinks I'm a compulsive liar. Wow. I still don't have the faintest idea why this person would think that. I'm still really hurt that they do. Really hurt. I wish I could convince said friend otherwise. But I have a feeling there's nothing I can do. I have a feeling this friend has just had enough of me, and wouldn't want to listen to a word I have to say. This makes me so sad. I felt like I was really close to this person, for a short time. And then there was a lot of shit between us, and others, and I felt like we didn't have that closeness anymore. Maybe I was imagining it, and we didn't connect the way I thought we did. But while we had it (or while I thought we had it), I really enjoyed this friend. I suppose it's another casualty of growing up and growing apart. I just wish we could understand each other...and I could know what brought this on.
SHOOT I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE DEPRESSING AGAIN. Ok, happy news: I'm going to visit Valerie and Brittany in a few days. I cannot wait. It will be a fantastic time, I'm sure of it. Wahoo.