Chillunz.

[brinley]

Have you ever looked at people with children and thought, "My God. I could never do that. I'm too selfish/busy/whatever" for that? I do all the time. A friend of mine, a manger and all-around creative woman at Paper Boy on Belmont, said to me that children age people tremendously. (Remembering my grade school arch-nemesis, Vanessa - the achetypal

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(ahahah!)

[brinley]

That made me laugh out loud! Chicken of what? Any fool can have a child and, trust me, many fools do. Don't you find it ironic that the folks who *would* probably send out some of the more - for lack of a better word - enlightened children, don't have them?

This woman I know - who has gone from liking me to hating me and back to liking me (for no reason that she'll ever tell me!) - has had two children in the time that we've known each other, a two year period. That's when my therapist made the comment, "Isn't it funny that people who shouldn't have kids, have them while people who think about the world and are thoughtful [and a bunch of adjectives that were boosting - haha] don't have them?"

My reasons for not having them are both practical and personal. Since about age seventeen, I've dealt with/suffered from severe depression and I know it's hereditary. Secondly, I'm not in the economic bracket I should be in - yet - to raise one well and, lastly, I've grown used to living without a lot of distractions and, frankly, don't have the devotion to give to someone small who needs that attention. (This last one could change, but I dunno.)

I think I wouldn't mind romantically being with someone younger with me - eight years at most - because of the virility issue. ahaha! But I don't wanna ruin someone's life because he *does* want children and I pretty much don't.

Luff ya.