(no subject)
i am filled with so many thoughts and questions and the strong desire to write letters. i owe nearly ten different people letters. some i have owed for about 18 months. i have written scraps and composed about every letter in my head already. will i find time to write them finally? i have three papers due in the next twelve days. i have hundreds of pages of reading due between now and then. i have home time, personal issues, filming, thinking and other shit to do in those twelve days as well (ie go to college park to witness unc murder the terrapins in basketball). what will i accomplish and what will inevitably get pushed to the side? they all must get done.
i had the urge to cover so much other shit in this entry since i write so infrequently and for many of you this is our only means of communication as contrived as it may be. so much shit has been on my mind lately but really i dont care to discuss it with the masses. maybe if i refrain from doing so i will be more compelled to write it down all old fashioned like (and more personal too).
my therapist told me to write down something that makes me happy each day. since she is a book (and should i be listening to a woman who counsels only married couples and young girls (and whom i also believe is wrong on many issues) i cannot share it with her so i will share todays with you:
today dinner made me happy but even better was when konstantin and i went to wal-mart (eh i know that place sucks) and we bought big rubber balls that are like 15" in diameter and we stood outside in the parking lot playing with them for almost 45 minutes. and konstantin said something along the lines of "its so cool how the simplest toys can provide the most fun"
ps. this is separate from above
today my professor asked us to close our eyes and imagine a flag against a bright blue sky, waving, and to imagine music and to notice the first emotion evoked by thise scene. he then began calling on people to share their thoughts. for the first time in a long time i was afraid of being called on in class. i know if he had called on me the ROTC kids would have beat the shit out of me after class. ah feelings i havent felt since high school, how nice of you to return.
pps. i am afraid i am at risk of getting sick. something like 36% of school is or atleast was as of this past weekend. i think its foolish of myself to stay up this late writing in a livejournal. but i also feel i would be lying in bed just thinking about all of this anyway.
i had the urge to cover so much other shit in this entry since i write so infrequently and for many of you this is our only means of communication as contrived as it may be. so much shit has been on my mind lately but really i dont care to discuss it with the masses. maybe if i refrain from doing so i will be more compelled to write it down all old fashioned like (and more personal too).
my therapist told me to write down something that makes me happy each day. since she is a book (and should i be listening to a woman who counsels only married couples and young girls (and whom i also believe is wrong on many issues) i cannot share it with her so i will share todays with you:
today dinner made me happy but even better was when konstantin and i went to wal-mart (eh i know that place sucks) and we bought big rubber balls that are like 15" in diameter and we stood outside in the parking lot playing with them for almost 45 minutes. and konstantin said something along the lines of "its so cool how the simplest toys can provide the most fun"
ps. this is separate from above
today my professor asked us to close our eyes and imagine a flag against a bright blue sky, waving, and to imagine music and to notice the first emotion evoked by thise scene. he then began calling on people to share their thoughts. for the first time in a long time i was afraid of being called on in class. i know if he had called on me the ROTC kids would have beat the shit out of me after class. ah feelings i havent felt since high school, how nice of you to return.
pps. i am afraid i am at risk of getting sick. something like 36% of school is or atleast was as of this past weekend. i think its foolish of myself to stay up this late writing in a livejournal. but i also feel i would be lying in bed just thinking about all of this anyway.