My roommate will make fun of me...
for deciding to start doing this again. But I'm not back to cry about how "lame my mom is being," or weird childish things like that.
I just have no literary outlet right now and also a lot has changed in my life.
One... I moved to Kern Place (or more accurately, Mission Hills) and I live with "the" Eddie whom my profile refers to as "no longer a slave to the pepperoni," and our friend Austin, who I'd met like twice before moving in but it's all worked out pretty well aside from the fact that when it comes to the house we're very lazy and very messy.
Two... I left Pizza Hut and took some time to start chasing my real dream to break into the journalism field. I've scored a spot with Verve Magazine, which is one of those free entertainment pages any major city has. You know the little tabloid shaped pieces that talk about music and art and events in any given locale. They're new and I think that's gonna work out really well if I stick to it. I also have a job with the local ABC News affiliate pending and if you're reading this I want you to pause right now and pray to whatever you believe in (or for you hippies, send "positive vibes") for me on that one, because I'm... you guessed it... working another shitty pizza job in the meantime. Although, it's a way more laidback environment and it's a lot more fast paced. If those two don't seem to correlate you have to remember I used to work in a dine-in restaurant with a delivery unit that only promotes management from within. Which means there's a lot of people who by their 3rd year are realizing how lame it is that theyre STILL working there. The new place I work at is Delivery-Carryout only, and everyone is closer to my age and is going to school. No one really works full time with the exception of the management, and even then I'm using the term "full time" loosely.
Eddie and I have been throwing around the idea of putting our old publication back together for awhile now, but I'm not sure I have it in me. I don't even know where the local music scene has wandered off to, which makes me feel old... but then I remember I'm in my MID-twenties. I'm not that freakin old for chrissakes! I'll figure something out.
AAAAAAAAAAND then there's all the "juicy" stuff people can't help but ask me about/comment on/throw in their two cents. Since moving here, emotionally it's been a roller coaster. Basically it started off with me leaving behind gigantic chunks of my life once and for all. I finally gained the kind of clarity only 3 years apart can give you on the whole Becca thing. We even spent last summer back in touch and I see that she couldn't understand me any LESS than she does these days. My new philosophy in life is that I'm on a constant mission to keep myself entertained, and that's something I know she was never able to handle. You can't enjoy what's going on around you when you're worried about the mental well being of another person. The idea of keeping myself constantly entertained and happy is the center of my life and very little else matters to me. I mean I love my friends and my family... but they're a part of that philosophy too. What's more fun than mischief, laughter, and debauchery with the ones you love? And while my best friends are my best friends for life (Agui, Roxanne, Charlie, Lena, Tai... anyone else you know who you are), my roommate Eddie continues post-bringthatbeatback.com to be my favorite partner in crime.
Then there was the whole Tracy thing, which as of winter '06 is finnnalllly very over. We haven't spoken in about half a year, and I seldom even see her around. She moved on and I moved on and it was for the best... because I can't be someones babysitter. Good riddance is really all I can say to that friendship.
Annnd... Seattle. Yeah that. I don't even know what to say about that anymore. Sarah will always be one of my closest friends from the furthest distance. She knows me like very few people do, and understands me... but any romance or strong emotions just seem to kinda deteriorate day to day. It's mainly my fault of course because I put a lot of stock in things people say, whether it's things they said/promise 2 days or 10 years ago. And so the moral of all of this is that I'm focused on me, again, and the pursuit of keeping myself entertained. A lot of things make me happy, whether it's music, movies, trading one liners with Eddie for hours on end... or less innocent things like the occasional drink-til-dawn-a-thon, and a little self medication.
I always know when I'm done writing these things because it eventually stops just pouring out, and as a writer, personally, I know that means my thought is complete. Oh! And I un-friends-only'd a bunch of entries because I decided a long time ago that my life and experiences are MINE and I can share them with whomever I choose. The people around me are all I've got and I don't see anything wrong with the voyeuristic nature of this site.
Peace
"I know, I know this time. There's no turning back, we're closing in. And now I know this life was never meant for living in. We tried, we couldn't break this curse. I get the feelings it gets much worse. But with no demons left to fend, you can bet you'll be seein' me again."
I just have no literary outlet right now and also a lot has changed in my life.
One... I moved to Kern Place (or more accurately, Mission Hills) and I live with "the" Eddie whom my profile refers to as "no longer a slave to the pepperoni," and our friend Austin, who I'd met like twice before moving in but it's all worked out pretty well aside from the fact that when it comes to the house we're very lazy and very messy.
Two... I left Pizza Hut and took some time to start chasing my real dream to break into the journalism field. I've scored a spot with Verve Magazine, which is one of those free entertainment pages any major city has. You know the little tabloid shaped pieces that talk about music and art and events in any given locale. They're new and I think that's gonna work out really well if I stick to it. I also have a job with the local ABC News affiliate pending and if you're reading this I want you to pause right now and pray to whatever you believe in (or for you hippies, send "positive vibes") for me on that one, because I'm... you guessed it... working another shitty pizza job in the meantime. Although, it's a way more laidback environment and it's a lot more fast paced. If those two don't seem to correlate you have to remember I used to work in a dine-in restaurant with a delivery unit that only promotes management from within. Which means there's a lot of people who by their 3rd year are realizing how lame it is that theyre STILL working there. The new place I work at is Delivery-Carryout only, and everyone is closer to my age and is going to school. No one really works full time with the exception of the management, and even then I'm using the term "full time" loosely.
Eddie and I have been throwing around the idea of putting our old publication back together for awhile now, but I'm not sure I have it in me. I don't even know where the local music scene has wandered off to, which makes me feel old... but then I remember I'm in my MID-twenties. I'm not that freakin old for chrissakes! I'll figure something out.
AAAAAAAAAAND then there's all the "juicy" stuff people can't help but ask me about/comment on/throw in their two cents. Since moving here, emotionally it's been a roller coaster. Basically it started off with me leaving behind gigantic chunks of my life once and for all. I finally gained the kind of clarity only 3 years apart can give you on the whole Becca thing. We even spent last summer back in touch and I see that she couldn't understand me any LESS than she does these days. My new philosophy in life is that I'm on a constant mission to keep myself entertained, and that's something I know she was never able to handle. You can't enjoy what's going on around you when you're worried about the mental well being of another person. The idea of keeping myself constantly entertained and happy is the center of my life and very little else matters to me. I mean I love my friends and my family... but they're a part of that philosophy too. What's more fun than mischief, laughter, and debauchery with the ones you love? And while my best friends are my best friends for life (Agui, Roxanne, Charlie, Lena, Tai... anyone else you know who you are), my roommate Eddie continues post-bringthatbeatback.com to be my favorite partner in crime.
Then there was the whole Tracy thing, which as of winter '06 is finnnalllly very over. We haven't spoken in about half a year, and I seldom even see her around. She moved on and I moved on and it was for the best... because I can't be someones babysitter. Good riddance is really all I can say to that friendship.
Annnd... Seattle. Yeah that. I don't even know what to say about that anymore. Sarah will always be one of my closest friends from the furthest distance. She knows me like very few people do, and understands me... but any romance or strong emotions just seem to kinda deteriorate day to day. It's mainly my fault of course because I put a lot of stock in things people say, whether it's things they said/promise 2 days or 10 years ago. And so the moral of all of this is that I'm focused on me, again, and the pursuit of keeping myself entertained. A lot of things make me happy, whether it's music, movies, trading one liners with Eddie for hours on end... or less innocent things like the occasional drink-til-dawn-a-thon, and a little self medication.
I always know when I'm done writing these things because it eventually stops just pouring out, and as a writer, personally, I know that means my thought is complete. Oh! And I un-friends-only'd a bunch of entries because I decided a long time ago that my life and experiences are MINE and I can share them with whomever I choose. The people around me are all I've got and I don't see anything wrong with the voyeuristic nature of this site.
Peace
"I know, I know this time. There's no turning back, we're closing in. And now I know this life was never meant for living in. We tried, we couldn't break this curse. I get the feelings it gets much worse. But with no demons left to fend, you can bet you'll be seein' me again."