WHY?!!!
Really why?! why do i always manage to screw shit up when it's going great for once in my life!! ah!!! im so sick and tired of shit happening im so sick and tired of fighting with the one person i love just as much as a member of my family!! i love this girl! i love love love her!! damn! im sick and tired of being a drain! i want to be the pitcher that fills her back up again with love and patience and understanding! why can't that happen?!! why did i have to explode yesterday?!! it pisses me off! ah!! to top it all off i found the myspace message of when i got my tattoo and she comletely went off on everything i've ever done to hurt her senior year and beyond. all one big freaking mess that im sick and tired of! ah!! it's really bull shit. thats the best way to describe it. God i want to be a better person i want to have enough money to support myself and my little sister when the time comes. I have to change who i am i can't be selfish all the damn time i have to move on and be stronger! i have to face life head on instead of waiting for shit to happen!! ah!! this is so hard to accept and so hard to change and it doesn't change in one day which sux! ah!! i have to work on that stuff more and more and more and more each day! i can't go to sagu and let all this just spill over! i have to adjust and I have to let time heal our wounds so we can just be better than friends again! ah!! ah!! ah!! im so frustrated and stressed out and i don't wanna go to sagu half the time because of this ridiculousness!! :,( sigh this sux! a lot!! help!! i need to clear my head!