Things that make you go "holy crap, I give up".
I've written crappy essays in the past. I've handed in essays that were 250 words long, when the topic demanded 1500. I've even completely misread the topic and made up my own.
But I've never scored 0 before now. Yes, zero, nada, nought, nothing.
I wrote this essay (on facebook) expecting to write me off as an incompetent student (at worst), and give me a D.
I will admit that my expectation was based on what I now know to be faulty assumptions, and in retrospect it all seems so obvious.
I believed that I could only judge this Prof on his behaviour, and not the entire English department (or, at least, the people above him).
I believed that while this prof was a moron, the people above him may not be.
I believed that while the department may have extortion as a policy (ie if you wish to sit the final, you must attend x classes), that it did not necessarily follow that the department heads were a cancerous boil on the ass of humanity.
I was wrong.
The prof has scored me a zero for that paper (worth 40% of the total mark). In his (long and typed) note at the end of the paper, he indicates that he has already run this past his Department Head, and that the head is in full agreement with him.
He has allowed me until April 27th to rewrite the paper. April 27th is, of course, before the final grades are handed out. The cynic in me is presuming that he will hold off from marking my final exam until he can see that I'm a good little drone and am following his instructions.
I give up. I surrender. In the game of chicken we were playing, I assumed (foolishly) that he was driving something similar to me, while he actually was able to borrow his buddy's big rig.
I am going for beer. I will be drinking heavily.
(for the record: that 250 word essay scored roughly 48%, and I'll be rewriting that paper, in case that's not clear)