Irksome
So a lot of things annoy me, to be sure.
Tonight's episode left a fairly sour taste in my mouth.
There are 6 people staying in this house, two are women. One is Aya, the other is 'Pamela'.
Pamela moved in a few months ago. We've been friendly since pretty much the beginning, and been intimate in a number of ways.
Now, she's religious, which is a deal-breaker for me. There's a level of irrationality that underlies most religious people that is fairly prominent in Pamela. So nothing would ever happen between us beyond friends-with-benefits. (I thoroughly despise the other term for this situation as inaccurate)
Tonight we were talking about something, I don't know what. We got on to celebrity, and I said that the world could be made significantly better if the world wasn't so freaking distracted by celebrity [whatever].
She said that the world can never be made better.
This is contrary to a core belief of mine. I exist to make the world a better place (though casual observers may not draw that conclusion :P ). If the world can never be made better, then my self-determined reason for existence is gone. This, obviously, does not sit well.
I ask why she thinks that.
She says "I'm not telling you". I think it may be somewhat apparent why I don't see a future for us...
Upon further inquiry, she said that she had a religious reason for this statement (which reassured me immensely), but that she wasn't prepared to tell me the reason.
The reason for *that* is that whenever she shares yon reason, it gets attacked and she gets derided.
Her choice, in that case, is prudent. I can't fault that reasoning (though I'd question why she'd even mention the opinion if she's unprepared to present the rationale for examination, as opposed to simply nodding and smiling whenever someone says "I think the world can be made a better place").
So I put it to her, simply, that I give her my word that I would just like to hear her reason. I will proffer no opinion, nor comment, and all I would say in response is "Fair enough, thank you for sharing the reason".
She says that no, she's "once bitten, twice shy" etc.
Now let's be clear here: I lied on Wednesday to someone. Other than that, I haven't lied in years, nor have I maliciously misled anyone, nor committed any acts of treachery. I lie so little that I can recall with clarity the last two times I lied.
I have never mislead Pamela, and we have had intimate conversations on sensitive topics. Her feelings are never treated trivially, and when dealing with something that she is obviously sensitive about I'm cautious and serious, and treat her with the highest regard (as I do for all people).
In short, I have demonstrated repeatedly, and in a variety of situations, that when I promise something, that something happens.
To tell me that my promise is worthless is one of the most insulting things someone can tell me.
To tell me that you don't trust me, is to tell me that there is no friendship between us.
The 'friends' part of 'friends-with-benefits' is the important part.
Tie all those together and you have a very angry Brian....