Glee Season Finale - Reaction to "Goodbye"
To say I had strong reactions to last night’s episode would be quite an understatement.
I AM talking about positive reactions as well as the less pleasant. Burt Hummel? Continues to be my favorite person EVER, and as others have mentioned, I want fic about how he asked the girls for help and pulled that off. It was glorious. And I was gasping and laughing and crying with joy during that scene.
And I had sentimental tears, and both joy and sadness, as I think we were all expected too, with most of the goodbye songs (especially “In My Life”) and with certain scenes like Quinn & Sue, and everyone waiting in the hall for Puck’s test results. And Rocking the Boat! All the flashbacks to our babies!
But the rest…I am just left so confused and frustrated. Let’s just run through my mental list. Brittany - it still feels like we just forgot about her, so now she is doomed to repeat. Santana is going to stay, then she’s going to go. Is she going to New York then? Or staying with Brittany for a year? Puck - is he still going to LA? FINN - dear god, we spent time on talking him out of the Army, talking him into figuring out his dream, getting this acting admission, only to wipe that all out and go right back to the Army?? Okay, yes, I should be grateful that the ONLY break up was Finchel, every other couple was left intact. Except they weren’t. Because almost every couple is being separated - they were all made up of underclassmen and upperclassmen. When the groups were singing to each other, it was partners singing to each other. Kurt leaving Blaine behind. Mike leaving Tina behind. Quinn leaving Joe behind. Santana leaving Brittany behind. Mercedes leaving Sam behind. The only ones left together are Sugar & Rory, who haven’t been more than background bodies for weeks anyway.
And then we come to the biggest point of my contention: KURT. When they were opening their letters, first of all, I couldn’t believe Blaine wasn’t included. I GET IT, this was about the three people waiting for answers, but with Blaine’s insecurity, I just feel like Kurt would have wanted him right there, not gone to find him and tell him later. But that one is more ME than the show. The results - okay, I’m not surprised Finn did not get in. But I’m still a little irritated at this “just because Finn isn’t performing means he can’t come to New York” thing. I’m not saying I WANT Finchel together, and I get that Rachel’s price for getting out is the (at least temporary) loss of Finn. But something about the way they kept hounding all season on the “it’s this or nothing”, it grated on me. Because compromise IS part of healthy relationships. Of course, we’ve argued a lot that Finchel isn’t particularly healthy, no matter how much love they have. Speaking of prices to pay, though, Rachel didn’t just lose Finn. She lost her best friend, too. Again, I’m assuming only temporarily. But I never saw it coming. Rachel, who choked on her audition and then became an annoying pest who crashed an audition, Rachel got in, and Kurt did not. When he said “I didn’t get in”, I started screaming at the television. Swearing my head off, much to the amusement of my 9 year old daughter (who was equally shocked and angry, but isn’t used to mommy swearing like a sailor and threatening to kick writers in the balls). I GET it. I get that it’s a highly selective program. I get that Rachel NEEDS the school, but Kurt doesn’t. I get that Kurt will fight and find another way to fulfill his dreams, whether they stay performing or move to fashion. But in that moment, it didn’t matter that I know Kurt is strong and CAN do it without NYADA, it just mattered that I felt betrayed and lied to and let down. It was all shock and anger and frustration from that moment until the train station. THAT is when it turned to flat out sobbing. When Kurt smiled and hugged Rachel goodbye, and it just felt so WRONG. And then the whole montage of Rachel in New York, I just continued sobbing and how wrong it felt, how much Kurt has gone through and how much he and Rachel have been in it all together for a while now and how much he deserved to be there with her. I wanted both of them, standing there together, holding hands. It’s how it should have been. It should have been a shared moment. I know it’s ultimately Rachel’s show, not Kurt’s. But I never saw this coming.
I just feel like the writers spent all season, even longer in some cases, building us to certain points, and creating certain stories, only to backtrack and change it all back or ignore their own stories. I get it, I get that they want us to not have closure on things so we will come back in fall. But at the same time, I don’t know if I trust them anymore. I’ll watch, sure, but I will be even more wary, less willing to invest my heart.
I’m getting tired of being in fandoms that break me.
After the show was over, I rushed to tumblr. I needed to know that my friends were as upset, confused, and frustrated as me. I also had hope that someone had been able to start looking at it more rationally than I and talk me down, assure me things were going to be okay, that there are valid reasons for everything that happened. And that happened. There are logical statements and theories up. And they make sense, they do, to the rational part of my brain. But it didn’t really help last night, because I just wasn’t feeling like a rational person. And then I saw people who commented that with Burt in DC and Finn going off to the army, Kurt could/needed to stay and run Hummel Tires and Lube for a year while applying/working toward whatever dream and waiting for Blaine. And I started sobbing all over again, because that is NOT the life I want for him or expect for him. There’s nothing wrong with that life, or that job, but it isn’t Kurt’s.
Lettersfromtitan made the offhand observation of “three-headed vomiting turkey aliens” (if you don’t get that reference, just…don’t try. Not worth the pain). And yes. THAT is the feelings I was having. That’s the level of emotion I was at. True, no one died (thank goodness!), but it was that feeling of having been lied to and betrayed. Also that proof that once again, I’ve gotten in too deep.
I’m going back to reblogging every gif of Burt doing the Single Ladies dance I can find.
I AM talking about positive reactions as well as the less pleasant. Burt Hummel? Continues to be my favorite person EVER, and as others have mentioned, I want fic about how he asked the girls for help and pulled that off. It was glorious. And I was gasping and laughing and crying with joy during that scene.
And I had sentimental tears, and both joy and sadness, as I think we were all expected too, with most of the goodbye songs (especially “In My Life”) and with certain scenes like Quinn & Sue, and everyone waiting in the hall for Puck’s test results. And Rocking the Boat! All the flashbacks to our babies!
But the rest…I am just left so confused and frustrated. Let’s just run through my mental list. Brittany - it still feels like we just forgot about her, so now she is doomed to repeat. Santana is going to stay, then she’s going to go. Is she going to New York then? Or staying with Brittany for a year? Puck - is he still going to LA? FINN - dear god, we spent time on talking him out of the Army, talking him into figuring out his dream, getting this acting admission, only to wipe that all out and go right back to the Army?? Okay, yes, I should be grateful that the ONLY break up was Finchel, every other couple was left intact. Except they weren’t. Because almost every couple is being separated - they were all made up of underclassmen and upperclassmen. When the groups were singing to each other, it was partners singing to each other. Kurt leaving Blaine behind. Mike leaving Tina behind. Quinn leaving Joe behind. Santana leaving Brittany behind. Mercedes leaving Sam behind. The only ones left together are Sugar & Rory, who haven’t been more than background bodies for weeks anyway.
And then we come to the biggest point of my contention: KURT. When they were opening their letters, first of all, I couldn’t believe Blaine wasn’t included. I GET IT, this was about the three people waiting for answers, but with Blaine’s insecurity, I just feel like Kurt would have wanted him right there, not gone to find him and tell him later. But that one is more ME than the show. The results - okay, I’m not surprised Finn did not get in. But I’m still a little irritated at this “just because Finn isn’t performing means he can’t come to New York” thing. I’m not saying I WANT Finchel together, and I get that Rachel’s price for getting out is the (at least temporary) loss of Finn. But something about the way they kept hounding all season on the “it’s this or nothing”, it grated on me. Because compromise IS part of healthy relationships. Of course, we’ve argued a lot that Finchel isn’t particularly healthy, no matter how much love they have. Speaking of prices to pay, though, Rachel didn’t just lose Finn. She lost her best friend, too. Again, I’m assuming only temporarily. But I never saw it coming. Rachel, who choked on her audition and then became an annoying pest who crashed an audition, Rachel got in, and Kurt did not. When he said “I didn’t get in”, I started screaming at the television. Swearing my head off, much to the amusement of my 9 year old daughter (who was equally shocked and angry, but isn’t used to mommy swearing like a sailor and threatening to kick writers in the balls). I GET it. I get that it’s a highly selective program. I get that Rachel NEEDS the school, but Kurt doesn’t. I get that Kurt will fight and find another way to fulfill his dreams, whether they stay performing or move to fashion. But in that moment, it didn’t matter that I know Kurt is strong and CAN do it without NYADA, it just mattered that I felt betrayed and lied to and let down. It was all shock and anger and frustration from that moment until the train station. THAT is when it turned to flat out sobbing. When Kurt smiled and hugged Rachel goodbye, and it just felt so WRONG. And then the whole montage of Rachel in New York, I just continued sobbing and how wrong it felt, how much Kurt has gone through and how much he and Rachel have been in it all together for a while now and how much he deserved to be there with her. I wanted both of them, standing there together, holding hands. It’s how it should have been. It should have been a shared moment. I know it’s ultimately Rachel’s show, not Kurt’s. But I never saw this coming.
I just feel like the writers spent all season, even longer in some cases, building us to certain points, and creating certain stories, only to backtrack and change it all back or ignore their own stories. I get it, I get that they want us to not have closure on things so we will come back in fall. But at the same time, I don’t know if I trust them anymore. I’ll watch, sure, but I will be even more wary, less willing to invest my heart.
I’m getting tired of being in fandoms that break me.
After the show was over, I rushed to tumblr. I needed to know that my friends were as upset, confused, and frustrated as me. I also had hope that someone had been able to start looking at it more rationally than I and talk me down, assure me things were going to be okay, that there are valid reasons for everything that happened. And that happened. There are logical statements and theories up. And they make sense, they do, to the rational part of my brain. But it didn’t really help last night, because I just wasn’t feeling like a rational person. And then I saw people who commented that with Burt in DC and Finn going off to the army, Kurt could/needed to stay and run Hummel Tires and Lube for a year while applying/working toward whatever dream and waiting for Blaine. And I started sobbing all over again, because that is NOT the life I want for him or expect for him. There’s nothing wrong with that life, or that job, but it isn’t Kurt’s.
Lettersfromtitan made the offhand observation of “three-headed vomiting turkey aliens” (if you don’t get that reference, just…don’t try. Not worth the pain). And yes. THAT is the feelings I was having. That’s the level of emotion I was at. True, no one died (thank goodness!), but it was that feeling of having been lied to and betrayed. Also that proof that once again, I’ve gotten in too deep.
I’m going back to reblogging every gif of Burt doing the Single Ladies dance I can find.