An English grammar lesson to start the day
First of all, to the author of the story about which I used the phrase "white on rice": yes, I've got it. I'm kind of hard pressed to find enough time to read anything in one sitting, though, and I don't want to read it in spurts. So rest assured, I have not forgotten you and I'm sure it's going to knock my socks off. If I weren't so convinced of that, I wouldn't want to make sure I've got time to read it all at once. :)
Now, on with today's lesson.
We're going to be dissecting the following paragraph for verb tense consistency.
However, even as preoccupied as he was, he hadn’t failed to see the way DiNozzo has been acting during the last few days. His antics have been silly rather than funny, and his whole demeanour, at the beginning of the case, was unfocussed and half-hearted. Gibbs has restrained himself on one or two occasions from giving him either a biting comment or a head slap-he actually hasn’t done that for a while now. However, their little recent talk was still fresh in his mind, and he was reluctant to shake the fragile balance they have managed to reach. On the other hand, his own little talk with Vance has left him with a new set of worries, this time, mostly for DiNozzo. He turned to face him, and asked him in a tone that demanded a real answer,
First of all, just as a minor note... ending sentences (not to mention paragraphs) with commas is generally frowned upon.
Now, starting with the first sentence, lets pull out those verbs, shall we?
preoccupied as he was - simple past tense
hadn't failed - past perfect tense
has been acting - present perfect tense
have been silly - present perfect tense
was unfocussed - simple past tense
has restrained - present perfect tense
giving - present continuous tense
hasn't done - present perfect tense
was still fresh - simple past tense
was reluctant - simple past tense
has left him - present perfect tense
turned to face him - simple past tense
asked him - simple past tense
So, let's review.
Your tenses in this paragraph are as follows:
past
past
present
present
past
present
present
present
past
past
present
past
past
Some (most) of those tense changes actually take place in the middle of a sentence.
Now I, as your oh-so-humble reader, really want to read this story. It comes rather highly recommended in Tony-centric fic circles. I'm probably going to keep trying at it... but I just had to stop real quick and say...
I'm on the ninth fucking paragraph, and the eight before it have all been one-line dialogue! I haven't even started scrolling yet! Just exactly how much further do you expect me to force my brain to go?!
Or, in other words... verb tense: you're fucking doin' it wrong!
*breath*
There now. I feel so much better.
Now, on with today's lesson.
We're going to be dissecting the following paragraph for verb tense consistency.
However, even as preoccupied as he was, he hadn’t failed to see the way DiNozzo has been acting during the last few days. His antics have been silly rather than funny, and his whole demeanour, at the beginning of the case, was unfocussed and half-hearted. Gibbs has restrained himself on one or two occasions from giving him either a biting comment or a head slap-he actually hasn’t done that for a while now. However, their little recent talk was still fresh in his mind, and he was reluctant to shake the fragile balance they have managed to reach. On the other hand, his own little talk with Vance has left him with a new set of worries, this time, mostly for DiNozzo. He turned to face him, and asked him in a tone that demanded a real answer,
First of all, just as a minor note... ending sentences (not to mention paragraphs) with commas is generally frowned upon.
Now, starting with the first sentence, lets pull out those verbs, shall we?
preoccupied as he was - simple past tense
hadn't failed - past perfect tense
has been acting - present perfect tense
have been silly - present perfect tense
was unfocussed - simple past tense
has restrained - present perfect tense
giving - present continuous tense
hasn't done - present perfect tense
was still fresh - simple past tense
was reluctant - simple past tense
has left him - present perfect tense
turned to face him - simple past tense
asked him - simple past tense
So, let's review.
Your tenses in this paragraph are as follows:
past
past
present
present
past
present
present
present
past
past
present
past
past
Some (most) of those tense changes actually take place in the middle of a sentence.
Now I, as your oh-so-humble reader, really want to read this story. It comes rather highly recommended in Tony-centric fic circles. I'm probably going to keep trying at it... but I just had to stop real quick and say...
I'm on the ninth fucking paragraph, and the eight before it have all been one-line dialogue! I haven't even started scrolling yet! Just exactly how much further do you expect me to force my brain to go?!
Or, in other words... verb tense: you're fucking doin' it wrong!
*breath*
There now. I feel so much better.