(no subject)
I'm in a mood, or something. But I've been in one for over a week now, so I'm not sure if I'm just hormonally broody, or winter broody, or regular broody. Does it matter?
Saturday was Val's birthday dinner and whatnot, so we were hanging out with Steve, Ross, Johnny, Val of course, and Johnny's brother. It was not all bad, but there are a few moments in the night that made an impression on me--a discussion about religion in which sweeping statements were made that made me, apparently the only vaguely religious person in the room, cringe, and Johnny and his brother laughing about throwing ice water on bums.
It really drove home that I really didn't like he people there, except for Val and Ross. It weaseled into my brain and found the part of me that goes "I don't have any friends except for two people I hardly see" and drove it in deeper. It highlighted the fact that I am generally only social with people I am slowly coming to loathe as assholes.
Brian continues to argue that they only act like assholes sometimes. At some point if you act like an asshole enough you just had to admit that you are an asshole. Although I haven't known Johnny for nearly as long, Steve has definitely crossed that point for me. It's not just the treatment of People on the Internet (see: WoW guild blowup drama) but of real life friends as well (see: Steve not knowing when the fuck to lay off Peacock and being at least partially to blame for him not wanting to hang out with us when I fucking adore Peacock. To actually to be fair, I should probably could him as a friend too, rarely as I see that bastard either).
You'd think that after moving 16 times I'd be a pro at the making friends bit, but apparently sans school I don't know how to transition to something to "hang out with me outside of crap I see you at" land.
I am lonely, and neither eating lunch alone at work nor wedding planning is helping. They are pretty good at making it worse though.
Excuse me while I go emo in a corner now.
Saturday was Val's birthday dinner and whatnot, so we were hanging out with Steve, Ross, Johnny, Val of course, and Johnny's brother. It was not all bad, but there are a few moments in the night that made an impression on me--a discussion about religion in which sweeping statements were made that made me, apparently the only vaguely religious person in the room, cringe, and Johnny and his brother laughing about throwing ice water on bums.
It really drove home that I really didn't like he people there, except for Val and Ross. It weaseled into my brain and found the part of me that goes "I don't have any friends except for two people I hardly see" and drove it in deeper. It highlighted the fact that I am generally only social with people I am slowly coming to loathe as assholes.
Brian continues to argue that they only act like assholes sometimes. At some point if you act like an asshole enough you just had to admit that you are an asshole. Although I haven't known Johnny for nearly as long, Steve has definitely crossed that point for me. It's not just the treatment of People on the Internet (see: WoW guild blowup drama) but of real life friends as well (see: Steve not knowing when the fuck to lay off Peacock and being at least partially to blame for him not wanting to hang out with us when I fucking adore Peacock. To actually to be fair, I should probably could him as a friend too, rarely as I see that bastard either).
You'd think that after moving 16 times I'd be a pro at the making friends bit, but apparently sans school I don't know how to transition to something to "hang out with me outside of crap I see you at" land.
I am lonely, and neither eating lunch alone at work nor wedding planning is helping. They are pretty good at making it worse though.
Excuse me while I go emo in a corner now.