Almost Old?

[brigidforest]

I’m not positive on how to do this anymore. I remember I used to love to bear my soul to, in many ways, complete strangers, to the whole public that would read these words. I have a fairly simple, and the urge to tell people about it has left me. It is in part because it got me in trouble more than few times with my family. Everything in this

Comments

[jadesfire2]

Brigid is on lj! :O

I believe oldness is relative. I hear all the time that I'm supposed to live my life now while I still have the energy, and my answer to that is What energy? I'm probably the least energetic person I know within my age group. I'm always the tired one who needs a nap. Sometimes I think that if I only liked coffee, tea, soda, or SOMETHING with major caffeine in it, I'd magically turn into someone who actually feels 22, but somehow I doubt that's it.

I've always felt that the difference between a dream and a goal you actually plan on achieving was an energy thing. A drive thing. Most people would think of Harvard and go "Well that would be cool, but it's not as if I could", and then some people would buy their way in. And then some people would actually go, "Okay I'm going to Harvard" and make that decision wholheartedly, then figure out how to make it real. Because it's all in the followthrough. I'm trying to find that "make myself better" energy, but the sheer antimidation factor keeps me going 'but what if I did this instead, it's easier and almost as good.' If you've already got the energy, don't waste it.

If you want to go back to school, then you should do what you want. There's no law that says you have to be the person you wanted to be by a certain age--isn't the important thing that you make it at all, not how soon? Just make sure you find a school you really feel you can be happy at, because I remember your love/hate relationship with the last one.

[brigidforest]

It's so much easier to feel old when you're teaching freshmen, and everyone tells you they're the hope of the future, as if the rest of us have become damaged and can only hope for better. I think teachers have the ability to say really stupid comments that make you feel like crap.

And energy is overrated. Energy and drive are not related. Otherwise, I wouldn't have even survived by now.