Tempting fate and magical thinking
So I'm confused (not that I'm ever not).
Here's the thing. I found at that my contract runs out at the end of august, not the end of september. Jikes! I will be sad and it will suck to go back on welfare. For months I've been going back and forth between hoping to stay, and accepting that I won't. I feel like any time I try the latter, I'll be tempting fate and WILL get fired. But that it basicly magical thinking, right?
I mean, what happens is already set in stone. Because the company has no clue on how many people they will need and that means they can't hire. So what I think or how I handle this isn't going to make a difference.
In spite of all that rational thinking, it feels weird and scary to me to realise that getting canned might be good... And that (apart from the welfare thing and the fact that there simply are no jobs right now) I don't know how happy I'll really be if I do get to stay.
Mostly, I've felt stuck the last few years. No moving back, no moving forward, just getting older. Maybe getting kicked out will set things in motion again.
Is that weird?
Here's the thing. I found at that my contract runs out at the end of august, not the end of september. Jikes! I will be sad and it will suck to go back on welfare. For months I've been going back and forth between hoping to stay, and accepting that I won't. I feel like any time I try the latter, I'll be tempting fate and WILL get fired. But that it basicly magical thinking, right?
I mean, what happens is already set in stone. Because the company has no clue on how many people they will need and that means they can't hire. So what I think or how I handle this isn't going to make a difference.
In spite of all that rational thinking, it feels weird and scary to me to realise that getting canned might be good... And that (apart from the welfare thing and the fact that there simply are no jobs right now) I don't know how happy I'll really be if I do get to stay.
Mostly, I've felt stuck the last few years. No moving back, no moving forward, just getting older. Maybe getting kicked out will set things in motion again.
Is that weird?