help! pweeeeeeeese!

[brightsaber]

ok this entry has changed. i am betweeen Boy, Mary, Emotion, The Riders, and Floored

the lit mag didn't really say when their deadline was so I have to pick three SOON and then email them straight away.

Comments

so creative!

[dakara_suki]

there are so many poems! aaahhh
these are the two comments i can think of right off the top of my head:

"Train": the second line says 'to', i think it should be 'too'
"Emotion": i like a lot, i guess it's because i would like to travel to Venice someday!

be back to write more later! ^_^

Re: so creative!

[brightsaber]

um, thanks. those don't help to much, lol.....

Re: so creative!

[dakara_suki]

i know...sorry...just random comments..i'm just not good with poetry. but you're doing great though.

wow!

[eveofmorning]

I like castle and floored. Those are my favorites!

Re: wow!

[brightsaber]

yeah, floored is my fave

[shelteredchc]

Mary and The Riders are my faves because they go beyond the simple metaphor and bring out deep emotions. I have feelings when I read these ones. Not saying that metaphor is bad, but a poem using one metaphor gets kind of tedious.

[darkjourney11]

yeah i really have no idea about mary... i am just not sure about that
but yes, "riders" is very different

[evilelfee]

i think you should use "floored", "riders" and "mary".

[brightsaber]

me too... except i have my venice obsession, and then chris said he liked it. but then, have you ever read HIS poetry? it's very ...un-dark

yeah i think i'll go with those. THANKS!

[shelteredchc]

With the new cut of poems, my fave is The Riders.

[brightsaber]

someone told me they didn't like that one, because it was too dark. and they said the lit mag wouldn't like dark ones. but i still really like it

[shelteredchc]

Its dark, but it really shows the reader your feelings. This is not a happy feeling that this poem is about so you can't use rose imagery with roses growing. Lol.