Meta: Was it wrong for Dean to deprive Sam of the fulfillment of his desire to die, in 9.01?
So, I'm going to bring up a topic that may be fairly controversial, but that has niggled at me since it was introduced in episode 9.01. This may surprise those among you who know me as a Sam!girl (or who took my last meta to mean I'm always in Sam's camp), but I've always been bi-bro, and in this case, I feel compelled to defend Dean ... and judging from the comments I've seen around fandom, am I the only one on his side in this?
I see that many people are, perhaps rightly, declaring that the events of S9 are entirely Dean's fault. Given that the Brothers Winchester have always had the unique knack of finding ways to blame themselves for things they have only tangential connections to, this is pleasant in a way, so that at least this time we're dealing with direct consequences of direct actions rather than mere Winchester guilt and bad self-esteem.
However ... what else was Dean to do? Up against the wall in 9.01, with time running out, he made the one and only choice available to him to save Sam's life. He prayed first to Cas, then to all angels, with the at-the-time reasonable-seeming assumption that at least a FEW of them would have positive intentions toward him and his brother. When Ezekiel was the only responder who seemed even remotely friendly, Dean questioned him closely to try to divine his motives, vetted him through Cas, and still harbored reservations until there was literally no other way to save Sam's life. Thereafter, Zeke had the upper hand and pulled Dean's strings harder by the week, until the disaster we all (plus Dean) knew was surely coming for him arrived and left Dean on the bunker floor whispering Kevin's name.
If he had known what would happen in the end, would Dean even have made a different choice? He probably would have warned Kevin. He would have told Cas. He would surely have tried to find a way to tell Sam (if that would even have helped, since Zeke could apparently simply erase the memories). But would he still have let Zeke into Sam?
I think he would have, since it was his one and only option for saving Sam's life. I think he would have engaged in as much damage control as possible, even trapped Zeke in holy fire, but Dean fights and fights to go on living, doing whatever it takes, and for Dean, that means Sam has to be alive, too, because Dean would far rather die than see Sam die.
So then the question becomes, was it wrong for him to do so? I know many believe it was, saying it was selfish and disrespectful of Dean to disregard Sam's wish to die, if not an outright violation of his consent and his sovereignty. This is a tricky question, to be sure, which I guess necessitates questioning why Sam wants to die, because when I see the fury some fans harbor toward Dean for making this choice, they seem to assume Sam longs for death out of some natural, straightforward desire--he feels like it's his time, he feels he's done enough.
But what if Sam's longing for death is a result of situational depression that might be relieved, the classic "permanent solution to a temporary problem"--or what if it's a result of such disastrous wreckage of his sense of self-worth (as evidenced in "Sacrifice") that he doesn't feel he deserves to live anymore, he believes he does more harm than good, he believes he holds his brother back, all of which amount to mental illness that might be healed? I mean, isn't his longing for death essentially equivalent to suicidal ideation?
Worst of all, in Dean's eyes, is the great likelihood (since the events of 9.01 transpired directly after "Sacrifice," in which Sam said point blank that he wants to die because of things Dean has caused him to believe about himself and their relationship) that Sam longs for death because Dean has treated him so badly and so disrespectfully, abusing his sense of self-worth into utter defeat; at which point would Dean not have a duty to rectify his own mistakes and missteps where his brother is concerned, rather than allow Sam to slip away as a result of them?? Allowing Sam to let go for those reasons under those circumstances would rob Dean of an opportunity to resolve them, relieve him of his responsibility for repairing what he has broken, and would condemn Sam to a death utterly devoid of redemption.
Of course, for the sake of ALL THE ANGST! (and perhaps to drive home to Dean unavoidably the destruction he has wrought), the plot has to make the consequences of allowing Zeke to save Sam as dire as they could possibly be, but even given that, could Dean in good conscience have made another choice? For as long as Sam can live another day, there is still hope--not just for Dean, but for Sam, as well.
So I guess the question we're really looking at here is, could Sam be mistaken about what's best for him? Does he know what's right for himself, or is he so damaged that he's incapable of making the right choice and needs someone else to look out for him and make some decisions for him, now that he's lost the capacity to see clearly?
Of course, whether Dean is the right person to make those decisions is uncertain, since most of Dean's choices are iffy at best, but that could also lead to interesting contemplations about whether Dean is acting primarily out of selfishness or whether he has Sam's best interests at heart.
I'll be most interested to hear your thoughts on the matter ...
I see that many people are, perhaps rightly, declaring that the events of S9 are entirely Dean's fault. Given that the Brothers Winchester have always had the unique knack of finding ways to blame themselves for things they have only tangential connections to, this is pleasant in a way, so that at least this time we're dealing with direct consequences of direct actions rather than mere Winchester guilt and bad self-esteem.
However ... what else was Dean to do? Up against the wall in 9.01, with time running out, he made the one and only choice available to him to save Sam's life. He prayed first to Cas, then to all angels, with the at-the-time reasonable-seeming assumption that at least a FEW of them would have positive intentions toward him and his brother. When Ezekiel was the only responder who seemed even remotely friendly, Dean questioned him closely to try to divine his motives, vetted him through Cas, and still harbored reservations until there was literally no other way to save Sam's life. Thereafter, Zeke had the upper hand and pulled Dean's strings harder by the week, until the disaster we all (plus Dean) knew was surely coming for him arrived and left Dean on the bunker floor whispering Kevin's name.
If he had known what would happen in the end, would Dean even have made a different choice? He probably would have warned Kevin. He would have told Cas. He would surely have tried to find a way to tell Sam (if that would even have helped, since Zeke could apparently simply erase the memories). But would he still have let Zeke into Sam?
I think he would have, since it was his one and only option for saving Sam's life. I think he would have engaged in as much damage control as possible, even trapped Zeke in holy fire, but Dean fights and fights to go on living, doing whatever it takes, and for Dean, that means Sam has to be alive, too, because Dean would far rather die than see Sam die.
So then the question becomes, was it wrong for him to do so? I know many believe it was, saying it was selfish and disrespectful of Dean to disregard Sam's wish to die, if not an outright violation of his consent and his sovereignty. This is a tricky question, to be sure, which I guess necessitates questioning why Sam wants to die, because when I see the fury some fans harbor toward Dean for making this choice, they seem to assume Sam longs for death out of some natural, straightforward desire--he feels like it's his time, he feels he's done enough.
But what if Sam's longing for death is a result of situational depression that might be relieved, the classic "permanent solution to a temporary problem"--or what if it's a result of such disastrous wreckage of his sense of self-worth (as evidenced in "Sacrifice") that he doesn't feel he deserves to live anymore, he believes he does more harm than good, he believes he holds his brother back, all of which amount to mental illness that might be healed? I mean, isn't his longing for death essentially equivalent to suicidal ideation?
Worst of all, in Dean's eyes, is the great likelihood (since the events of 9.01 transpired directly after "Sacrifice," in which Sam said point blank that he wants to die because of things Dean has caused him to believe about himself and their relationship) that Sam longs for death because Dean has treated him so badly and so disrespectfully, abusing his sense of self-worth into utter defeat; at which point would Dean not have a duty to rectify his own mistakes and missteps where his brother is concerned, rather than allow Sam to slip away as a result of them?? Allowing Sam to let go for those reasons under those circumstances would rob Dean of an opportunity to resolve them, relieve him of his responsibility for repairing what he has broken, and would condemn Sam to a death utterly devoid of redemption.
Of course, for the sake of ALL THE ANGST! (and perhaps to drive home to Dean unavoidably the destruction he has wrought), the plot has to make the consequences of allowing Zeke to save Sam as dire as they could possibly be, but even given that, could Dean in good conscience have made another choice? For as long as Sam can live another day, there is still hope--not just for Dean, but for Sam, as well.
So I guess the question we're really looking at here is, could Sam be mistaken about what's best for him? Does he know what's right for himself, or is he so damaged that he's incapable of making the right choice and needs someone else to look out for him and make some decisions for him, now that he's lost the capacity to see clearly?
Of course, whether Dean is the right person to make those decisions is uncertain, since most of Dean's choices are iffy at best, but that could also lead to interesting contemplations about whether Dean is acting primarily out of selfishness or whether he has Sam's best interests at heart.
I'll be most interested to hear your thoughts on the matter ...