Fic: Of Demons, Monsters, and Squirrels ...
Title: Of Demons, Monsters, and Squirrels ...
Author: brightly_lit
Genre: gen, humor, outsider pov
Rating: PG
Characters: Sam, Dean, OSC (Original Squirrel Character)
Word Count: 460
Summary: Chaz always knew this day would arrive, but why did the Winchesters have to come after a harmless squirrel shifter like him?!
I was reminded of this one by Dean's altercation with the pigeon in 9.05 and realized I'd never posted it to my lj (I wrote it for a Big Pretzel comment meme), so here you go, enjoy. :-)
From a prompt by zelda_addict. http://spn-bigpretzel.livejournal.com/493095.html?page=2#comments
As the evil black Impala coasted into view, Chaz knew it was all over. He'd heard of the Winchesters--God, of course he'd heard of the Winchesters, he couldn't stop hearing about the FREAKIN' WINCHESTERS, and now they were finally onto him. At least they caught him in his squirrel form, where he could scuttle up to the tops of the trees (as he did now) and try--God, try!--to escape, even though no shifter ever succeeded. The Winchesters were ruthless killers. By nightfall, surely they would have high-tech squirrel traps set up all around the canopy and he would be in their grasp.
It wasn't his fault he was a shifter. Why, why did they have to learn about his existence and persecute him so mercilessly?? He didn't do anything wrong! Okay, so he stole the Jagerson's walnuts, big deal! And Mrs. Abbot's tomatoes. And he kind of had a good time pissing all over that brat's mattress when they took it outside to air it out, but what squirrel wouldn't?! Little shit had been throwing rocks at him since he was two! Okay, and maybe he did his level best to drive the neighborhood dogs insane, but come on, it was FUNNY! From all he'd heard, the shorter Winchester enjoyed stupid pranks at least as much as Chaz. It wasn't fair! Life wasn't fair! IT WASN'T FAIR!!!
Okay. The jig was up. It was only a matter of time. He knew from the first time he heard of the Winchesters that their very existence spelled his doom. He may as well pull himself together and face it like a man ... who spent most of his time as a squirrel.
"COME AND GET ME, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "FINE, YOU WANT TO KILL A HARMLESS LITTLE SQUIRREL? GO AHEAD! I DON'T CARE! I'M READY TO DIE!!!"
Sam and Dean climbed out of the Impala and slammed the doors shut, looking around the nice suburban neighborhood.
"Gah," Dean complained, covering his ear. "This would be a really nice place if it weren't for all that racket. What the hell is that?"
Sam looked up. "It's a squirrel."
"SHUT UP!" Dean yelled at it. It only got louder.
"It probably thinks you're after its nuts," Sam said mildly, and Dean turned to stare disbelievingly at Sam, who realized belatedly what he'd just said and rolled his eyes. Dean pounded the roof of the car, howling with laughter, which for some reason only seemed to make the squirrel more upset.
"Think the people around here would be mad if I broke out the rifle and did a little sharp-shootin'?"
"Pretty sure they would, yeah," Sam said sardonically.
Dean shrugged. "Okay, let's go get this wendigo."
Author: brightly_lit
Genre: gen, humor, outsider pov
Rating: PG
Characters: Sam, Dean, OSC (Original Squirrel Character)
Word Count: 460
Summary: Chaz always knew this day would arrive, but why did the Winchesters have to come after a harmless squirrel shifter like him?!
I was reminded of this one by Dean's altercation with the pigeon in 9.05 and realized I'd never posted it to my lj (I wrote it for a Big Pretzel comment meme), so here you go, enjoy. :-)
From a prompt by zelda_addict. http://spn-bigpretzel.livejournal.com/493095.html?page=2#comments
As the evil black Impala coasted into view, Chaz knew it was all over. He'd heard of the Winchesters--God, of course he'd heard of the Winchesters, he couldn't stop hearing about the FREAKIN' WINCHESTERS, and now they were finally onto him. At least they caught him in his squirrel form, where he could scuttle up to the tops of the trees (as he did now) and try--God, try!--to escape, even though no shifter ever succeeded. The Winchesters were ruthless killers. By nightfall, surely they would have high-tech squirrel traps set up all around the canopy and he would be in their grasp.
It wasn't his fault he was a shifter. Why, why did they have to learn about his existence and persecute him so mercilessly?? He didn't do anything wrong! Okay, so he stole the Jagerson's walnuts, big deal! And Mrs. Abbot's tomatoes. And he kind of had a good time pissing all over that brat's mattress when they took it outside to air it out, but what squirrel wouldn't?! Little shit had been throwing rocks at him since he was two! Okay, and maybe he did his level best to drive the neighborhood dogs insane, but come on, it was FUNNY! From all he'd heard, the shorter Winchester enjoyed stupid pranks at least as much as Chaz. It wasn't fair! Life wasn't fair! IT WASN'T FAIR!!!
Okay. The jig was up. It was only a matter of time. He knew from the first time he heard of the Winchesters that their very existence spelled his doom. He may as well pull himself together and face it like a man ... who spent most of his time as a squirrel.
"COME AND GET ME, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "FINE, YOU WANT TO KILL A HARMLESS LITTLE SQUIRREL? GO AHEAD! I DON'T CARE! I'M READY TO DIE!!!"
Sam and Dean climbed out of the Impala and slammed the doors shut, looking around the nice suburban neighborhood.
"Gah," Dean complained, covering his ear. "This would be a really nice place if it weren't for all that racket. What the hell is that?"
Sam looked up. "It's a squirrel."
"SHUT UP!" Dean yelled at it. It only got louder.
"It probably thinks you're after its nuts," Sam said mildly, and Dean turned to stare disbelievingly at Sam, who realized belatedly what he'd just said and rolled his eyes. Dean pounded the roof of the car, howling with laughter, which for some reason only seemed to make the squirrel more upset.
"Think the people around here would be mad if I broke out the rifle and did a little sharp-shootin'?"
"Pretty sure they would, yeah," Sam said sardonically.
Dean shrugged. "Okay, let's go get this wendigo."