Song to My Wounded Soldier Self

[brightlotusmoon]

It's Friday.
I can sleep for hours tonight
Not that it
matters.
I slept seven hours and
feel like hell
My head is pounding
My muscles burn
The fatigue has "pulled my plug" so they say
The pain is overwhelming and vicious
I'm too exhausted
Completely drained
I can't think straight.
And yet every time I think I want to turn off
turn away
turn out
I think about how much worse it could be
Worse than these rapiers stabbing me
worse than these tasers electrifying me
worse than these torches searing me
from the inside out
when I can't stop it
I think, it could be so much worse
(I could be on fire!)
I'm just grateful to be where I am
who I am
why I am
I am happy to be not as worse as I could be
And I know I can make it
Because I have to
Because I can't give up
Because this is my life
Because you love me
And I need your help
I need whatever strength you can give
And it will be all right
I promise me.
So.
Another day. Another battle.
I have the rest of my life to fight this war inside me.
That should be enough time.