Because sometimes allodynia, too
Quoting an article about cerebral palsy and sex, particularly kinky sex:
"Old Pain I’m used to: the tightness in my hips when I don’t stretch in the morning, the pressure where my legs meet my back when I walk too far. It’s not that I don’t feel it; it’s just been there for so long that I know not to get nervous about it anymore. New Pain is where it gets scary because it stops having a name. I can’t immediately catalog it or diagnose it as benign. At best, disability allows you to create a tenuous peace with your body, and anytime it decides to violate that mutual agreement can be terrifying. You take the time to figure it out - what it likes and dislikes, where it functions best - and stick to that routine, until New Pain reminds you that you’re never quite going to have this figured out."
I'm a wimp with any kind of pain. But yes, Old Pain, I'm very used to Old Pain. I'm not good with pain. But, well, Old Pain is a whiny annoying thing that you deal with every day because you have to.
My favorite way to engage in personal physical stuff - not just sex - while having cerebral palsy: Communicating. A lot. Trusting. Being aware. Sharing the understanding that I can do this but can't do that, I can do this but it would be cumbersome and difficult, that I can do that but it would require compensation, modification, and help.
That's just life, though, really. But with disabilities, it becomes conscious and essential every single time.
"Old Pain I’m used to: the tightness in my hips when I don’t stretch in the morning, the pressure where my legs meet my back when I walk too far. It’s not that I don’t feel it; it’s just been there for so long that I know not to get nervous about it anymore. New Pain is where it gets scary because it stops having a name. I can’t immediately catalog it or diagnose it as benign. At best, disability allows you to create a tenuous peace with your body, and anytime it decides to violate that mutual agreement can be terrifying. You take the time to figure it out - what it likes and dislikes, where it functions best - and stick to that routine, until New Pain reminds you that you’re never quite going to have this figured out."
I'm a wimp with any kind of pain. But yes, Old Pain, I'm very used to Old Pain. I'm not good with pain. But, well, Old Pain is a whiny annoying thing that you deal with every day because you have to.
My favorite way to engage in personal physical stuff - not just sex - while having cerebral palsy: Communicating. A lot. Trusting. Being aware. Sharing the understanding that I can do this but can't do that, I can do this but it would be cumbersome and difficult, that I can do that but it would require compensation, modification, and help.
That's just life, though, really. But with disabilities, it becomes conscious and essential every single time.