Never mind! Actually it was awesome.
Please disregard my previous reviews of "Star Trek: Into Darkness" - because of this, the funniest review I've seen so far:
***
I mean, essentially, it was fan fic. Taking characters we all know well and love, then sticking them in situations which are familiar in some way but with enough of a twist to call it an AU and BLAM. It was like pastiche meets crowd sourcing, and I loved every single thing it chose to be.
The pretty: Kirks' mouth! Uhura's ponytail! The CGI! The background being the actual site of the Hadron Collider! The lush red forest planet in the beginning! Plus OMG Warp speed is GLORIOUS on a big screen now! Sigh.
The kick ass: OH EVERYBODY but most esp. Uhura. Oh, hai, stupid boyz in a glass case of emotion (literally), lemme just beam down there and shoot the badguy in the face until he falls down bc you are all useless. OKAY. Damn I LOVE her. James Bond style fighting on roof tops! Big ships falling out the sky! Everyone beating up Benjamin Cucumbersnatch!
The funny: "I wanna rip his bangs off his face!" "You two argue? How does that work?" "You were only a little dead!"
The wink nods: I don't wanna argue with anyone but I will say this- Spock yelling Kahn did not provoke laughter or sneers from ANYONE in my theatre. And personally, I loved that they cut away from it to the ship sound, and I absolutely felt what they wanted me to. Same with the hands on the glass, and the OMG TRIBBLES. Bones made Tribbles immortal! ILU BONES.
Ok, one more thing bc who am I. If you're watching Trek expecting science, you are gonna be in FOR A BAD TIME. Fuzzy tiger, fuzzy tiger- ooh! Something else exploded! Suspend disbelief or watch The Discovery Channel.
Also: Kirk's mouth.
Seriously though, in my next life can I just come back as Zoe Saldana's ponytail?
***
I actually feel better for seeing it now.
***
I mean, essentially, it was fan fic. Taking characters we all know well and love, then sticking them in situations which are familiar in some way but with enough of a twist to call it an AU and BLAM. It was like pastiche meets crowd sourcing, and I loved every single thing it chose to be.
The pretty: Kirks' mouth! Uhura's ponytail! The CGI! The background being the actual site of the Hadron Collider! The lush red forest planet in the beginning! Plus OMG Warp speed is GLORIOUS on a big screen now! Sigh.
The kick ass: OH EVERYBODY but most esp. Uhura. Oh, hai, stupid boyz in a glass case of emotion (literally), lemme just beam down there and shoot the badguy in the face until he falls down bc you are all useless. OKAY. Damn I LOVE her. James Bond style fighting on roof tops! Big ships falling out the sky! Everyone beating up Benjamin Cucumbersnatch!
The funny: "I wanna rip his bangs off his face!" "You two argue? How does that work?" "You were only a little dead!"
The wink nods: I don't wanna argue with anyone but I will say this- Spock yelling Kahn did not provoke laughter or sneers from ANYONE in my theatre. And personally, I loved that they cut away from it to the ship sound, and I absolutely felt what they wanted me to. Same with the hands on the glass, and the OMG TRIBBLES. Bones made Tribbles immortal! ILU BONES.
Ok, one more thing bc who am I. If you're watching Trek expecting science, you are gonna be in FOR A BAD TIME. Fuzzy tiger, fuzzy tiger- ooh! Something else exploded! Suspend disbelief or watch The Discovery Channel.
Also: Kirk's mouth.
Seriously though, in my next life can I just come back as Zoe Saldana's ponytail?
***
I actually feel better for seeing it now.