Home, Brain, Things
Adam and I got on the road at 7:00 PM. Made a few bathroom stops. Blew through Brooklyn at 90 miles per hour. Jersey Turnpike was quick as well. I tried to sleep through most of it. When we reached our parking lot, my head felt foggy and upset and dizzy.
So, upon returning home around 1:30 AM, we unpacked, I had a simultaneous seizure and mental breakdown due to stress, fatigue, exhaustion, and some emotional issues, I took Klonopin and Baclofen, and we slept long and hard.
I am fine right now, perky as I can muster. A very mild depressive episode, but that is to be expected after seizures combined with crying screaming wild anxiety attacks.
(Slightly related: I really don't like talking about this here, but that is what LJ is for, right? My mother and I keep having irritated emotional debates about my body, health, weight, finances, and mental idiosyncrasies. I admit, I consistently have a very insane anxious desire to buy stuff that I already have due to my bizarre fear that everything will disappear, but I've gotten much better, although Mom disagrees and often sends me emails in capslock, scolds me over the phone, and insists that I am a mentally ill addict; I can't deny that. My OCD issues concerning my spending are very very slowly getting under control, and those compulsions are fading more and more; but it takes time. You can't slap a bandage on something like this and watch it heal in a week. There is an active part of my brain that separates when these compulsions strike. The treatment will take months of Klonopin at the new dosage as well as therapy. But I know my sickness, I have admitted and embraced that I need help, I am getting help, and if anyone wants to fight me on it, my psychic teeth and claws have been sharpened to gleaming needles.)
This afternoon, we cleaned up, organized, admired the organization that Charlotte did all over the house, and played with three very happy adoring cats.
I painted my nails with a natural varnish from Honeybee Gardens, a color called Renaissance, a shiny rich burgundy red with subtle gold shimmer, which almost
matches my favorite Honeybee Gardens lipstick, Vintage Merlot, a very deep dark blood red with wine and brown tones and subtle gold sheen.
Jupiter is poking me insistently with both paws and headbutts. Cats come first, after all.
Also, since I completely missed the series premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012 on Nickelodeon, I am about to watch it online. My fingers are crossed that it will be fantastic. The voice actor lineup still cracks me up:
Leonardo (voiced by Jason Biggs)
Donatello (voiced by Rob Paulsen)
Raphael (voiced by Sean Astin)
Michelangelo (voiced by Greg Cipes)
So, upon returning home around 1:30 AM, we unpacked, I had a simultaneous seizure and mental breakdown due to stress, fatigue, exhaustion, and some emotional issues, I took Klonopin and Baclofen, and we slept long and hard.
I am fine right now, perky as I can muster. A very mild depressive episode, but that is to be expected after seizures combined with crying screaming wild anxiety attacks.
(Slightly related: I really don't like talking about this here, but that is what LJ is for, right? My mother and I keep having irritated emotional debates about my body, health, weight, finances, and mental idiosyncrasies. I admit, I consistently have a very insane anxious desire to buy stuff that I already have due to my bizarre fear that everything will disappear, but I've gotten much better, although Mom disagrees and often sends me emails in capslock, scolds me over the phone, and insists that I am a mentally ill addict; I can't deny that. My OCD issues concerning my spending are very very slowly getting under control, and those compulsions are fading more and more; but it takes time. You can't slap a bandage on something like this and watch it heal in a week. There is an active part of my brain that separates when these compulsions strike. The treatment will take months of Klonopin at the new dosage as well as therapy. But I know my sickness, I have admitted and embraced that I need help, I am getting help, and if anyone wants to fight me on it, my psychic teeth and claws have been sharpened to gleaming needles.)
This afternoon, we cleaned up, organized, admired the organization that Charlotte did all over the house, and played with three very happy adoring cats.
I painted my nails with a natural varnish from Honeybee Gardens, a color called Renaissance, a shiny rich burgundy red with subtle gold shimmer, which almost
matches my favorite Honeybee Gardens lipstick, Vintage Merlot, a very deep dark blood red with wine and brown tones and subtle gold sheen.
Jupiter is poking me insistently with both paws and headbutts. Cats come first, after all.
Also, since I completely missed the series premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012 on Nickelodeon, I am about to watch it online. My fingers are crossed that it will be fantastic. The voice actor lineup still cracks me up:
Leonardo (voiced by Jason Biggs)
Donatello (voiced by Rob Paulsen)
Raphael (voiced by Sean Astin)
Michelangelo (voiced by Greg Cipes)